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Myself and the boys had quite a lot to drink. As we often did. First it was me, my buddy Barney, this dude Todd, and some other weird guy I didn’t know. Barney arrived in town shortly after my journey to Mount LibGlob. Todd on the other hand, was a traveling merchant and business hadn’t been going too well for him so he picked up a job as a farm hand near Grumbsy and was pretty sure he was retiring from the merchant life. The weird guy smelled bad and I never asked his name.
It didn’t take long for some fellahs from the Colark Tribe to show up. The indigenous folk had become regulars around the Titan’s Trap. And lucky for me, they traditionally loved to brawl, giving me some quality sparring partners. Good thing for Trant, they were respectful about it, and only caused a scene where it was appropriate.
Right after the Colark’s showed up, Verg and Glish came stumbling through the door. From the look of it, they pregamed pretty hard beforehand. The hafflin began bragging about all the training he’s been doing and that he’s gonna kick my ass. I took it personally, until he started threatening everyone. Thankfully for the sake of his own health, it was universally deemed adorable and nobody fought him.
Eventually, Roan came rolling in ready to get his drink on.
I slid over next to my sketchy pal immediately. The little one was getting annoying as usual. “What’s up big sailor man?” Wiping the troll off my face, I ordered a round for him, and then asked, “Where’d our friends Gimble and Doc go?”
“You mean my friends Gimble and Doc,” The sailor grew extremely territorial.
“Where?” I just didn’t care.
“Dumb bastards went home,” He whined. “All the way to Heather’s Keep. Or whatever.”
A large hand grabbed my shoulder. It was an orc I had never seen before, with the words “Security” plastered in white on an all black shirt. “Excuse me sir… Is this guy bothering you?”
“You know, a little bit,” Roan smirked cheersing the drink I just bought for him.
My whole body seethed with rage, “Oh you dick.”
The orc tried to grapple me, but I pushed him off. He scratched his head and said, “Uh I forgot I’m not actually that strong.” His voice sounded strangely familiar. “This is a bit awkward.”
“Do I know you?” His face looked a lot like Vergusson’s but I could just be being racist.
“Look man…” The orc held his hands out. “I don’t want things to get nasty here. So just watch yourself.” He grabbed his shirt. “You see what this says?”
“Yeah…”
“You know what this means?”
“Yeah…”
He lowered his eyebrows. “We got a problem?”
“My only problem is this guy right here…” I turned to face Roan with my arms emphatically crossed. “You try something like that again… And I’ll kick your ass.”
“Sir I’m uncomfortable with that threat,” Roan hopped to his feet. “Grab his legs.”
Before I could react, the sailor had his arms around mine, and the Orc had my whole lower body. Together they tossed me out of the Titan’s Trap. Roan probably could have done it alone with a headlock if I’m honest, I don’t know why I threatened him.
After a few minutes I just decided to walk back inside. Trant was laughing at the whole thing anyways and I doubted Roan is gonna do that a second time. “If I can ever kick your ass I’m going to. I promise you. I fucking promise you Roan.”
“I look forward to it.”
There was some commotion by our other friends. Vergusson was in some argument with the Colarks. From the looks of it he forgot what his side of the argument even was. The orc that threw me out walked over to the barbarian.
“Excuse me?” The bouncer questioned. “ What’s happening here?”
“I’m a friend of Trants,” Verg replied egotistically.
The security man shrugged, “We’re all Trants friends okay.” The bouncer took a pause to think. He looked down at his shirt and grabbed it pointing at the writing. “Do you see what this says? Do you know what this means?”
“I can’t read,” Verg said in unison with Glish, who I’m pretty sure could read.
“Well let me clue you in here,” The Bouncer majestically looked off into the distance. “It says security,” His gaze returned to the men he was talking to as he raised a mighty fist. “And I take security very seriously.”
“How did the orc learn how to read and write?” Roan asked. It was a fair question.
“Just behave,” The bouncer walked away.
As he came back over to me I asked, “Do I know you friend?”
“We are not friends…”
“Well now I’m confident I know you…” I looked him up and down. “I don’t recognize you.”
He shrugged, “I’m usually much prettier.”
“And we’re not friends…”
“I don’t have friends.”
“Zorthos!” I jumped up and remembered not to hug my hellkin ally. From the look on the orc’s face it was obvious I had my answer right. He mastered the glamor spell, from what I could see there wasn’t a flaw in the illusion. “You did it?”
Verg had walked over to grab a drink from the bar. “Where’s that horny bastard?”
“Hello Veruggson,” The hellkin in orc form declared with hubris. “It is I, the one and only Zorthos. Here in glamor form to blend amongst the rest of you like a normal regular person.”
“Why is the devil dude not red?” Vergusson scratched his head.
Snapping his fingers, producing a small amount of fire that dissipated immediately, Zorthos explained with pizzazz, “Magic.”
Admiring my undercover friends’ work I asked, “So what should we call you in this form?”
“Uhm…” He hadn’t thought about it even for a second. “Orcos?”
“Love it.”
From there we drank rather merrily. Zorthos stuck around in orc form, though he didn’t say much. I’ve never seen him outside the context of a mission before. He could have left at any point, but he stayed with the community and chose to not be alone.
After getting each other worked up over some of the things we’ve done recently I found myself at the bar calling for Trant’s attention. “I was wondering if there is any work in this town for some fine young adventurers like ourselves?” A couple of my cohorts stood, as they would later describe, bad-assly behind me.
“Oh ready to get out there again I see.”
“Does it look like we take naps?” I asked fiercely.
“Well,” He started pondering work he had heard of so far. “So there’s a wagon I ordered with supplies that has gone missing. And I heard rumors of a couple of ghost towns to the South East.”
“I’m not afraid of no ghosts,” I spoke the truth, “I’ve had a run-in with beings of the spectral realm before, I guess you could say we have a speciality in the area.”
“That’s not really what I meant…”
“Guys!” I shouted to some of our nearby friends. “Trant has a couple of jobs for us. One involves ghosts. And the other has something about like a missing wagon. I wasn’t really paying attention”
Orcos loudly announced. “Let’s check that one out.” He looked around totally not embarrassed, “I mean, that one just sounds better, like, I’m not scared of ghosts but. Like I definitely don’t like them, I’m just not scared.”
We suspected perhaps he was scared, but none of us could quite tell. It was obvious from our faces that we suspected he in fact was scared, and he felt the need to say, “I stared death in the eyes recently. And I spat in its face. HAHAHAHAHAHA.” He began to laugh maniacally.
“You’re laughing kind of suspiciously,” Roan pressed.
“Well that’s… just… my normal laugh.”
“I was there when we fought the ghosts by the Heltree…” I reminded Orcos of my presence on the adventure not long ago. “At no point did you spit at anything’s face.”
“It’s a metaphor.”
“Right.” I was embarrassed. “I should know what that means.”
His fierce brow curled down in disappointed confusion. “Yeah, for being a bard you really don’t seem to understand metaphors, you need to realize these things don’t happen. I’m just illustrating a point.”
I stopped and contemplated for a moment. “We’ll take the wagon job. Because Orcos you know… He’s not scared or anything, he just really likes wagons.”
“Yeah,” my demon ally in orc form agreed, “It just seems like a more trying matter.”
“So one missing wagon is more important to you than the missing population of two entire villages?” Trant questioned, confused by our motives.
Embarrassed, I tried to save face, “Well we don’t know what’s on the wagon bro.”
Orcos, also feeling this shame, tried to help with, “I was also thinking we like Grumbsy. These other towns…” He cringed a little, showcasing a lack of sympathy for this village. Everyone looked at him confused. The Teethling scrambled to recover. “I but live in a simple hut, I don’t know what’s happening.”
While I didn’t agree with his phrasing I said, “I’m with the Hellkin. Ghosts are better handled for folks like exorcists and the like. We should stick with the missing wagon. It’s probably just more bandits.”
Trant shook his head. “I’ve been trying to explain. I didn’t say you’re dealing with ghosts. I just said ‘Ghost town.’ Like… the towns are empty. Probably been raided or something. I wasn’t referring to spectral beings.”
I scrambled for words before the hellkin explained, “The Bard struggles with metaphors.”
Eager to never do anything for free, Roan asked the important questions. “What’s this job pay? I owe some people a lot of money and I like them so I don’t wanna kill them or something.”
Trant held his hands up like he was being accused of something he didn’t do. “I have no dog in this fight, it isn’t my town I’m just informing you of a situation in which you could find work.”
“Ah,” I said, “Now I’m following the narrative. You’re broke aren’t you.”
He shrugged and smiled. “I go back and forth.”
“You know empty houses,” Roan exclaimed, “Probably have a lot of stuff in them.”
“That belongs to the people that live in the town.” Orcos screamed passionately.
Vergusson simply chanted, “Loot loot loot loot.”
“I agree with Orcos,” I declared. “We must ensure the safety of the villagers.”
“It’s my main priority,” The glamored one added.
Glish had walked over to us, though none of us noticed because he was pretty low to the ground. “Fine… We’ll be nice for you pansy boys. But when it comes time to kick ass. I’m kicking twice as many asses as you.” He locked eyes on me and I returned the ferocity from above him.
Roan walked over and sat down next to me, staring Trant square in the eye, “You sure you don’t have any leads on what’s going on?”
The barkeep shrugged, “People are guessing raiders. I know there’s been some rumors of giant beasts in the area too, but it’s Kayos. So that doesn’t mean anything. I’m guessing just some indigenous tribe that were driven from their home and got desperate.”
“Goblins,” I nodded confidently.
He gave me a curious look, “What makes you say that?”
“Have you ever met a goblin?” I asked like I was an expert.
Trant giggled, “I’ve Battled with a few goblin in my day.”
“Then you know,” I wagged my finger. “They’re the worst. All of them.”
Orcos grunted, “You know… You really got a problem with judging others.”
“I…” Had no idea what to say.
So I said nothing, and just let the moment ride.
Trant then gave us instructions and we took one more night’s rest before heading towards the brand new stables that we just set up and stocked with steeds. We were able to buy a few at a cheap price and head out.
Our adventure didn’t start very smoothly. The ever so classy barbarian half-orc got us quite lost, but after several days, and some quality hunting by Yarrick, and a lot of arguing over which direction we should go, as we were all pointing in different directions, we eventually made our way to Cannes Rock. It was about a 6 day ride, but we think it could have been much shorter if we didn’t follow Verg.
Zorthos had taken on the form of an incredibly good looking blonde man instead of an orc. He figured it would be easier to blend in with humans as one of them, and it was always beneficial to look good.
He named himself Blondos.
The mayor of the town was a woman named Hathley, a friend of Trant’s. She showed us a map of the region, and there were 7 small villages nearby. A couple weeks ago the town of Umbridge stopped sending their merchants. When scouts checked it out the town appeared to have been raided.
Same thing happened to Mansfield a week after that. Hathley claims that she sent more scouts to check on the nearby farms and many of them had also been ransacked. Some of the scouts also haven’t returned.
She explained that the region had all set up fire signals to indicate where the next attack could come from and send help. Problem was, nobody was there to help, any warrior brave enough to fight wants to stay near their home and protect it. They’d sent for help from the North but so far we were the first people to show up.
If the pattern of attacks was consistent, the next attack would be happening the following day. So we rested as best we could that night, and by that I do mean we hit the local bar rather hard. Though I did hold myself fairly responsible.
For the most part I spent the evening speaking with a rather attractive and interesting woman named Tracey. She seemed to find me interesting as well, but she certainly didn’t seem interested in the way I wanted her to. However, being a gentleman, I did offer to walk her home. Which she allowed me to do, trusting me not to force myself upon her. Something she said out loud while staring me in the eye. It was kind of weird but I suppose it was necessary so I wouldn’t complain.
And so I walked her home. Bowed politely, then left her alone. As a man should.
It was on the way back, where things began to get a little messy. There was a bit of a commotion late at night. Not many people were about, but a crowd had gathered and from what I could tell something somewhat violent was happening.
Likely a tussle, and I had a guess who was involved. The crowd wasn’t too big to block my view, and I noticed my tiniest comrade Glish being held down by a large human. The man wore leather armor, and had a sword in its sheath on his back.
There was another similarly dressed man, standing over a drunk local we met named Carlen. The obnoxious homeless man hung out at the tavern and kept bothering us with his conspiracies about the king of Souway, a large nation in Southern Norrgard. From the looks of things it’s possible Glish and Carlen had some differences that needed to be settled before a couple of guards stepped in. Thing was, I hadn’t noticed the guard before.
Three more men had very similar garments standing nearby with their arms crossed. Daggers at their sides. Standing next to them was a man in blue full plate armor. He appeared shorter than the rest, but quite stocky with a long sword intended for a man much taller than himself. Upon closer inspection there was a hafflin next to him with a bow and quiver of arrows on his back.
A couple more men had walked over to them, but at that point I had prioritized helping my ally. “Glish what the fuck did you do dumbass?”
“This dude groped a lady,” Glish snapped, pointing his finger at Carlen as he tried to wrestle away from the soldier. “So I whooped him. Then these dicks saved his ass.”
“It’s true…” Patty, one of Tracey’s friends, looked very distraught watching Glish be wrestled to the ground. “Let him go. He was just protecting me…”
The man in full plate armor stepped forward. “How are we supposed to know he’s not one of the raider’s we’re here to hunt?” He shook his head, “If only he stopped resisting arrest we could all get along.”
Unhappy with that, I said, “I feel like that doesn’t make sense.” I walked over to him, “How do we know you’re not that raider? This little shit is just here with me and do I look like I can take down a town by myself?” I held my arms to display the entire village. “Because you know he ain’t doing much…”
Glish continued to wriggle.
“You and him here alone?” The man with armor asked.
“Last I checked…” Our friends had all wandered off long before this.
“I hope you ain’t lying…” He stepped towards me, almost stomping on Glish and his own ally. “Because that’s something a raider would do…”
“Well…” I shrugged casually. “I hope you ain’t trying to intimidate me and everybody else around.” Nodding arrogantly I pointed out, “Because that’s something a raider would do.”
He smiled because he did not like my comment. Not one bit.
I smiled because I thought it was hilarious.
Looking me up and down he asked, “What’s your name?”
Before I could answer, the last voice I wished to hear in that moment shouted, “Glish why are you losing a fight?”
“Verg!” Glish shouted, “I kicked that dude’s ass. Then this dude jumped me from behind.”
Patty screamed, “Get off him.”
The half-orc nodded, agreeing with her, “I’d get off him.” It sounded more like advice than a threat. But I knew it to be a threat.
Giving me a disappointed tilt of the head the man in blue armor asked, “He with you?” When I didn’t say no he shook his head facetiously. “It sounds like you have secret friends… Not very trustworthy are we?”
Before I could reply, I noticed Blondos walk up next to Vergusson holding a couple of pretzels. After he handed one to the half-orc, he bit the other, then asked, “What’s going on here?”
The blue armored man approached them, but his hafflin ally walked past him. Once he did, the taller soldier stopped and let him go. I noticed their smallest, had a left eye made of pure gold.
After staring at the two pretzel eating fellows, the golden eye briefly pointed at the pair announcing confidently “These boys are up to something wicked.” He slowly backed up, pulling a dagger, but still extending his boney hafflin finger at the barbarian and the blond man who gave him a snack. “We can’t trust that one there?”
“That’s pretty racist,” I said. “Just because he’s an orc you think it’s a problem.”
My comment offended him greatly, “We have an orc right there.”
When I checked, one of the other two men I didn’t pay attention to was in fact an orc. The other was an elf. And I was embarrassed. Though he still could have been racist. Until he added, “The orc’s not the problem…” I pondered if he was lying or not. He could be using his orc for war and treats him like shit.
“Then what is the problem?”
His golden eye glowed and his mouth seemed to foam with rage, “The one pretending to be something he’s not. Something I never trust, even if I ever trust a demon. Which I never would.”
Blondos looked incredibly depressed. “What the hell man?” He looked at his own body and his hands, “First frickin… This is my first time using this spell and you figured me out already?” His blond head shook with more depression than I’d seen from one of the saddest men I’d ever known.
The golden eye hafflin roared, “This man here is a devil with a glamor over his true form!” His compatriots behind him began pulling out their weapons. “We shall vanquish this creature and save you all from the sins that will come!”
Battle cries were let out, but not by my team.
Most of them charged the helkin and the half-orc.
Zorthos was quick to say, “We should arrest them Vergusson. Don’t slaughter needlessly?”
The half-orc understood, “Punch them?”
“Please…” The horned one nodded.
As the blue man swung his sword, Verg grabbed the wrist with his left hand. Then punched him. It didn’t put his foe down, but he swung the knight around and slammed him on the ground. Another man appeared behind him with his sword drawn. I tried to react, but didn’t even know what to do.
Luckily a beer mug came flying out of nowhere and collided with the soldier’s head.
He stumbled about, and Verg spun around to clock him in the head.
Roan was off to the side, bragging about how well he just through the beer mug. His attack drew the attention of the opposing team’s orc.
The gold eyed mystic was firing arrows at Zorthos, who blasted a red beam back a the little one. A couple of the soldiers charged at the devilman during the exchange.
When I made a move towards the hafflin, their elf stepped in front of me with his sword drawn. I pulled out my rapier as well. When we looked around and noticed my friends weren’t using weapons, he gave me a sympathetic look.
Both of us let our weapons go.
Then we lunged.
It was nearly a double knock out right out the bat. We were both pretty dazed from the other’s first punch and backed away. Then we realized the other was hurt and lunged again.
Which was a bad idea for me because I don’t really know what happened after that. I was sort of unconscious pretty quickly. I know he held his hands up in surrender and approached my allies, who all gave him high fives for winning the fight before tying him up along with his friends they defeated.
I hopped to my feet after a few minutes. “We kill anyone?”
Roan giggled, “You sure didn’t…”
The actual town guard had finally made their way over to us. They looked pretty fat, out of shape, and wore chainmail armor. It’s a wonder how this area is having a hard time defending itself with such proactive warriors. That’s usually the case when you beg a couple of farmers to buy a sword and pay them to deal with problems if they happen.
Taking control I held my hand up, “Verg don’t do anything, I got this.”
“I was standing here.”
“Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that me and my associates have handled this pack of misdoers,” I held my hands out elegantly. “I offer you the opportunity to give them what justice they deserve. But know that we did try to spare their lives. And from what I see, our mercy was successful.”
The closest guard trembled. “How do we know you aren’t the misdoers?” He pointed over at my friends, particularly the orc and the demon. “Don’t look like a trustworthy bunch yourself if you ask me.”
“Oh we’re the worst.” I pointed at Glish. “Especially that one.”
The hafflin flexed his muscles.
Crossing my arms with a smile I explained, “So I guess it’s up to you. Trust the men who made an effort not to kill their armed foes, even when outnumbered. Or don’t.”
He was a bit convinced by me, “We don’t have a big enough prison to toss in every man who throws a punch. Especially with raiders about. You boys think you could get along?”
“Of course…” I looked at my friends for clarification.
Roan was already talking shit to the orc, but both were laughing. Zorthos was brooding and didn’t want to be involved in the conversation. Glish was threatening them with his hammer. Vergusson nodded to me. He was actually listening this time.
“Of course…”
The guard walked past me to the other men. He spoke with the chainmail man for a moment and then asked us if he could release them without a problem. I answered by untying the elf.
As my former foe stood to his feet I asked. “You gonna help us with the raiders?”
“That’s who we’re hunting…” He looked off into the night. “Though we don’t know who or what the problem is yet. It could be a massive beast. I can taste them in the wind…”
Verg blurted out from right behind me, “You can taste wind?” Then he tried to lick the air.
Glish glared at him like he was weird as fuck. Then he also tried to lick the air.
Before I could ask more questions, I heard the blue armored warrior shout, “Let’s go!”
The elf was curious, “What do you mean?”
“We’re leaving…” He waved his arm as he walked. “I’m not staying here to fight alongside these heathens.” Snarling at Zorthos he declared loudly, “I should kill you now.”
One of his men said, “Dude he saved us. Chill…”
The gold eyed hafflin approached Glish, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You walk with one like him… Even on quests you believe to be just… It will blacken your heart, and burn your soul. Keep your eyes sharp my brother.”
Glish kneed him in the nuts, and we frantically had to separate them. Thankfully most people on both teams had enough of the violence, including Vergusson who at least just cheered Glish on without doing anything himself.
Then they simply left. Several of them wanted to stay and help, feeling they were being cowards. But they went with their comrades. As they departed I saw Zorthos place his hand on Glish’s shoulder. “I appreciate what you have done as an acquaintance, but I cannot condone violence over mean words.”
“Words?” Glish complained. “I literally started as the good guy and they cheap shotted me…” He imitated the devastating act he just did with his knee again. “Guy deserved that one. Especially after his boy saved that creep from a proper ass whoopin.”
I wished I had something else to say. “He’s right.”
After that we made our way to the inn for the evening.
Only to be awoken in a few hours by the sound of bells. I quickly looked outside and saw the large torch signal light up in the night. I was outside in a moment, and my friends were right there with me.
A man named Billy offered to lead us the quickest route to where the signal came from. It only took a few hours to make it to Mud Creek. Which was easy to spot by more fires than just the torch of the signals that brought us there. We sent Billy home and went onwards.
We crept along the small creek the town was named after. Quickly finding a quaint little village of about 40 buildings. About five of those buildings were burning to some degree or another.
There wasn’t a soul in sight as we approached, but upon reaching the town perimeter we heard two different loud monstrous and gangly voices yelling indiscriminately. All of us dove into a hiding position.
“You idiot!”
“No, You idiot!”
“That makes sense…”
“Does it…”
“You’re the idiot.”
Out of the largest building walked only one massive creature, on its shoulders were two separate heads with hideous ogre faces. The beast stood at about 10 feet tall, with a giant club in its hand. Large muscular legs and arms with a fat plump belly.
Zorthos crept around the corner a bit to get a better look. “Okay… So where’s the other one?” He whispered.
“What other one?” I asked.
“I heard two voices,” He continued to look for a second creature.
Unsure what caused his confusion, I explained, “It has two heads.”
The hellkin was extremely embarrassed.
Roan had also moved to get a better look. “Don’t all ogres and orcs know each other?” He was very confident in the answer despite being the one who asked the question.
“I think that’s a stereotype.”
Ignoring me he looked across the street to where Vergusson and Glish were hiding. He waved to get Verg’s attention and when the half-orc looked I heard Roan whisper, “Do you know him?”
Verg was too far away to hear the sailor at that decibel, but he mouthed it as best he could and pointed at the barbarian, and his own head, trying to indicate knowledge. It was pretty obvious what he meant if you were sitting next to him and heard him say what he said as he mimed out what he meant.
And I was pretty sure Verg replied “yes” based on the way he nodded. Then he exited his position with one huge leap and slammed his head into the right head of the troll. “For the love of Poseidon,” Roan whined, pulling a longsword that looked like it belonged to the town’s guard Canne’s Rock.
The right head wagged himself trying to get its bearing as they yelled something in a different language at the half-orc. Verg pulled out his ax and yelled the same thing back at them. I couldn’t tell, but it sounded verbatim. Both parties swung their weapons.
The half-orc’s ax landed square in the monster’s chest. And the two headed trolls club smashed him square in the face sending him rolling away. Verg crashed right into a tree, knocking the thick wood over him.
My arrow was drawn, and I fired a clean shot. It bounced right off the bastard’s chest. Glish’s bolts had the same effect. As did Yarrick’s. Zorthos on the other hand threw a flaming spear that hit them square in the stomach. The weapon stuck but didn’t slow the beast down.
Roan slid across the ground and cut at the ogre’s legs. His sword nicked its side. He clearly was hoping for more damage and did not expect the kick to the chest that sent him rolling in the other direction.
Zorthos blasted the ogre in the face with his red eye beam, but it only seemed to daze both of them for a second. “Okay… That was stupid. That was really stupid.” He whispered to himself loudly.
Before it walked towards us, Vergusson was back front of the beast. He threw a straight right hand to the monster’s left face. Not the one he headbutted, the other one.
Holding its right hand to swing its club again, Zorthos thought fast and threw another spear, connecting square on the ogre’s wrist. The weapon dropped, and they yelped in pain. Verg punched the left face again. They punched back creating an exchange of blows, until the half-orc landed a massive right hook knocking the left head out cold clean. Its nose was crunched in. Several teeth were falling out. The whole face was struggling to breathe from the look of it.
The next punch from the troll put Verg stiff as a board.
Our enemy raised a foot to crush their nemesis, but Roan came in with a flying kick to the chest while their leg was up, successfully knocking them off balance. As the sailor rolled away he looked around for a weapon, and the beast searched for their club.
I dashed over to Vergusson, and dragged him as far away from the combat as possible while Zorthos engaged with his sword. Both the helkin and the ogre were weary of the other’s attacks. I was surprised the beast was capable of any level of restraint. Which went poorly for Zorthos when they realized it could just kick him.
He crashed into a nearby concrete wall that stopped his momentum. For a moment my heart stopped as I assumed he’d died, but he quickly stumbled out of the home. He may not be much stronger, but his ability to survive far exceeds my own. Though I don’t know if he could have survived the massive club that almost came down upon him.
Thankfully, I was right there. My rapier jammed straight into the left eye of the right face.
Before anything else happened I jumped backwards. The smartest move I could have made as a massive foot came flying in my direction, and the toes just barely grazed my gut.
It felt like I had been punched in the stomach a thousand times.
Zorthos stabbed it in the side with a sword. He was quickly backhanded away launching him into some trees. Splinters flew everywhere.
Glish was slapping Vergusson in the face. The half-orcs legs were twitching. So were the lips of the ogre’s left face, but it’s right head looked just fine besides the bloody eye. The massive beast stalked towards me as I tried to crawl away. There was barely a breath in my body as I moved along.
The ogre crawled ever closer. Until he suddenly yelled out in pain. I was wondering where you’ve been? Was all I thought until I was extremely disappointed to realize it was just Glish stabbing him in the back of the leg.
“Where is Yarrick?”
The troll stomped near him. It looked like it missed but the hafflin was hurt. Turning its attention back to me it took another step, this time screaming in more pain.
“I was saving the people,” Yarrick had a dagger in its side and was pointing to a building.
Roan stepped to the other side of the troll, holding Vergusson’s ax, cutting clean into the beast’s leg. From their knees the ogre punched him once again. This time the sailor looked as unconscious as Vergusson, and his face was even more mangled than the orcs.
The two head monster crawled toward me, but Zorthos stepped right in front of them. He stood fast to face as flames leapt from his mouth, “This is how you end a beast!” Both his hands grabbed the outsides of the troll’s right head. The beast screamed, stupidly, as fire burned the inside of it’s mouth.
Their giant hands gripped around him, but it loosened almost immediately the more their insides burned. They soon collapsed in front of him. My horned comrade with red skin shrieked dramatically letting flames out into the sky.
“Bad ass!” Glish nearly licked his lips.
Vergusson slowly got to his feet. As he shook himself out, raising his hands up for a fight he asked, “What happened?”
The hafflin happily announced. “Double KO.”
Roan was getting to his feet by the time I walked over to him. He was facing the other direction, I watched him slip off his left glove, place the cross tattoo on his face, and the golden glow flashed again.
When he spun around his head was as good as new.
“I could use some of that,” I pointed at my bruised stomach.
“Maybe when I get more juice,” He patted me on the shoulder.
Then someone yelled from a building nearby. “Oh my god what is that?” There was a small crowd of people standing in the door near where I saw Yarrick point earlier. An old man was standing in front of everyone else pointing at what they all feared.
“It’s an ogre,” Zorthos pointed proudly at the large corpse he created.
“It talks!” The same old man screamed.
“Huh…” The hellkin scratched his head. “I don’t think it’s talking.”
Yarrick poked me on the knee and pointed at them. It took me a minute to realize he’s antisocial and wanted me to talk. “Huh… Hello. My name is Elrin Daun of Gladland the Fighting Writer. Me and my allies here heard about your plight and came to solve the problem.” Patting the beast on the belly I said, “problem solved.”
“Thank you sir,” The old man walked over to Yarrick and knelt down. “You freed us.”
The rest of us just gave each other weird looks until I asked, “Hey uh Yarrick. Wanna catch us up? We’re all kinda confused here dude.”
Not that I expected an answer from him. But I did get one from the elder I was talking to, “We were locked up inside. The people of this town, they held us as slaves to work their fields. When the raiders came nobody told them we were locked in the basement. When the troll started tearing the town apart, things caught fire. We would have been burnt alive if not for your friend.”
I took a moment to admire my mysterious ally before I said, “So just to clarify. This troll isn’t the raider that’s been ghosting towns left and right?”
The man shook his head. “The villagers had some rotten meat that attracted trolls that the raider’s must have taken out of its container and about.”
“So who are the raiders?” Glish looked around.
None of them had any idea. The small group of 12 people were in a basement locked away for a couple hours before the carnage started. I had more questions, but there was no time to ask them. There was only a few hour gap between when we arrived and when the signals went off. I’m assuming the raid was pretty quick after that, but it had to take some time to drag prisoners. They couldn’t have gone far.
We looked around for a bit, until Yarrick found some tracks leading east. Dozens of them. Mostly human, some were being dragged, others appeared to be lizards. We moved quickly through the woods, as if we were deer. Our little rogue ally was an unsurprisingly expert tracker. Also there were pretty obvious tracks.
Not to long into the journey, I began to hear the faint sound of voices. Until it became pretty clear that was in fact what I was hearing. A bunch of them. Some sounded normal, others slurred and hissed a bit.
We tucked down to creep through the trees. “Verg you any better at sneaking buddy?”
Vergusson spoke as softly as he could. “We’ve been playing hide and seek.”
“He’s gotten better,” Glish was proud.
“Well he sucked last time we played…” The seaman was doubtful.
A little disappointed, I whined, “Thanks for the invite.”
Glish chirped back, “You played tag the other day and didn’t invite me.”
“You asked not to hang out!”
“And you should know I’d make an exception for tag!”
Roan quickly came to my defense “How would we know that you weirdo?”
I was about to say something else. I heard a weird shout and then suddenly the voices I totally forgot about went quiet. We completely failed to remember that we were supposed to be stealthy when we bickered back and forth.
Suddenly the quiet was pierced. “Help! Help Us! Help! They’re gonna eat us!”
Vergusson, who wasn’t hiding very well, shouted, “Ah, I knew they ate em.”
He stopped even trying to hide and just walked forward through the bush with Glish walking right alongside him. Zorthos jumped next to them with more excitement than I’d ever seen from him, “Let’s get em Verg.”
“For the love of…” Roan slid from his own location to Verg’s other side. Once he was on in line, his energy completely matched theirs. “Fricken heathens,” His voice filled with pride.
“It is I Vergusson! Here to save you!” The half-orc shouted unprompted into the trees.
I quickly took my place alongside my friends. To my surprise, So did Yarrick. I expected him to disappear like he always does, but this time he wanted to roll with the big dogs. There were certainly better strategies, but you weren’t gonna tell us to employ one. Not then. Not that moment.
I saw our enemy moving through the bushes the closer we got. Once we were near enough, I could see one of them standing behind a tree with a long scaly face that just barely extended outward. He held a bow and arrow in his hands, watching us closely. Several more had scattered through the woods.
Straight ahead of us, was a group of about twenty of them. Bipedal reptilian humanoids walking around between five and seven feet tall with an assortment of weapons. There were long spindles on the backs of their spines.
I could tell they were lizard folk, but Roan was more specific, “Igaunanians.”
Around forty humans had been tied up and dragged along the journey with them.
Barely a moment after we spotted them, they began firing their arrows and spears at us.
Vergusson and Roan dashed straight into the large pack. Zorthos began launching his spears in every direction. I threw myself into the bushes for cover, and from what I knew Glish did as well.
I didn’t see where it even came from, but an arrow stuck my left bicep. It was at this moment, I realized that perhaps I should myself learn the skills of archery. A decision like that would be most advantageous.
After crying for a minute, I knew I had to get back up. Zorthos was about to be overwhelmed by several of them. Roan was beating a couple up; he already had one of their weapons. Verg was doing what he usually did. The numbers were a bit much for just him though.
Glish was on the ground with a lizard man standing over him. I scooped up a nearby spear laying next to a corpse. My aim was solid, but the lizard man ducked out of the way. Still it distracted him in time for Glish to get back to his feet.
As I dashed over, the enemy caught my attention and took his eye off the hafflin. The blacksmith hammer crashed into the scaly knee. What happened next was pretty gross so I won’t describe it.
Limping my direction, wielding a Nagita, was an Iguananian about the same height as me. Despite the lack of mobility in his legs, his hands were very fast. I frantically deflected everything I could. My stomach was still wrecked from the ogre kick, and the arrow in my arm didn’t feel all that great either.
However, I was able to move away quicker than he was able to chase. Allowing me to choose when we engaged. I chose between fake outs wisely and put him on the back foot.
Not liking it at all, his movement became more frantic. He hopped around trying to get a different angle on me, but I kept him right in front of me. Right where I need him to be. And then I tripped, just for a second, but when my footing was off my opponent pounced.
I caught my balance and deflected quickly. He stumbled himself, and then I pounced. He didn’t deflect. I couldn’t even look at him, but the squeal from when my sword pierced his chest would haunt me for the rest of my days. When I perish, I hope to make the most pathetic noise possible, for whoever kills me deserves to remember that shit.
Glish was hammering one of them in the head. Another was coming from behind him. I jumped between them deflecting the Igaunanian hand ax away from the hafflin.
His weapon turned on me, and I noticed another one out of the corner of my eye. Before I could react it was prancing around in pain. Glish rolled over and smashed the foot of the one I was fighting causing him to prance around the same way, but Glish followed up with a devastating attack to the scaly stomach.
The other one dove for the hafflin. I leapt and stabbed him mid-air. Glish followed up with a hammer to the head. When he was done he announced, “Okay that was mine.”
I held up the appropriate fingers. “Bull shit. That was mine. I got two.”
“Whatever I still got two,” he pointed at the corpse I saw him create earlier.
A fricken tie?
Zorthos came walking out of the woods, screaming his demonic roar as loud as he could. I wasn’t sure why, but I got hyped for my boy and started yelling too. Pretty soon we were doing some sort of weird war dance before he started giggling and said, “Oh man we’re badass.”
I did not notice that the villagers we had saved were cowering in the bushes. One would think they’d be sprinting from their little hiding places to thank those that just saved them. Instead they trembled in fear. It was not until later that I noticed how fearsome my dance truly was. Also I was with a helkin that terrified everybody and we were all covered in blood.
Roan very angrily tossed the Naginata he was holding on the ground, “You’re safe now you worthless sacks of shit.” It was then that I remembered they owned slaves.
“What… What’d we do?” One of them asked as the rest gasped in fear. “They took all of our stuff. You can have it. We just don’t want to die.”
“We don’t want all your stuff,” I shouted. “Just most of it.” And by that I meant the free labor they’d been exploiting likely through the threat of violence.
“Oh by the way,” I remembered before leaving them. “There’s a dead ogre in the middle of the street now. We didn’t know what to do about it?”
“Why have you done this to us?”
“Mostly the slaves,” I shut them right up. At which point I smirked and told them, “Don’t make us come back here. Not unless we gotta save you from something like lizard folk again. Though I don’t think you’ll be having problems with those reptilian bandits.”
They didn’t sound convinced. “How do you know more won’t come?”
Yarrick sternly interjected, “Because ain’t nobody fuckin with the boys.”
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