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You had a bad day
You’re takin one down
Sing a sad song
Just to turn it around
It was a relatively empty night in The Titan’s Trap but an enthusiastic audience nonetheless. Months ago I would have called this crowd huge, but as the town grew so did my expectations. Even in the last several weeks since our venture to the Temple of Hades I’d witnessed several homes being built. There was also a second inn under construction. Just on the outskirts of town. Trant was planning to build even more homes in the coming months.
The man responsible for it all, was the new fellow from Hellas; Robert the Constructor. I never saw anyone else work alongside him, he was always tinkering away by himself. Yet, he worked faster than any team I’d ever seen.
I wouldn’t watch him long, usually I’d take a shallow venture into the woods to harness my physical prowess and skills with the blade. Of course I frequently had to take some alone time to mediate my past into my present before transforming my life into the prose you read before you.
Whenever I’d return from the wilderness, Robert would have had a brand new home or building fully constructed. And due to the expanding immigration, Grumbsy was indeed beginning to flourish as Trant had always planned.
Syrielle had purchased a plot of land, and begun building a home herself. Robert was rather impressed with her moxy, and sold her supplies at a slightly discounted price. It was taking her far longer than it would have just to hire him, but she was stubborn as shit.
Impressed myself, I tried to help, but she kicked me out when I got in the way. Then begged for help later on when she realized I had a lot of good ideas. Me “getting in the way,” was just me being responsible.
Though we only worked for a few hours a day at a time, because we spent many hours a day practicing the sword. I wish I had more time to master the pen, but it was far more important that I hone my physical skills since I’m… You know… fighting to the death with killers every few weeks. Considering I don’t have an excellent writing tutor, but do have a master sword fighter on hand, it was pretty obvious what my priorities should be. Also staying alive to tell the story was more important than telling a story well.
Once I had finished my performance, I was preparing to catch up with some of my compatriots, when the door to the inn came bursting open in the way that often comes with adventure. However, this time there was no one there. Is what I first thought. Until I looked down to find a hafflin with that familiar worried look.
“Connor?” Trant was both uneasy and excited. “How the hell are you?” He was far more uneasy the more he spoke. Waving the tiny guest over he pulled out a small glass. “What can I get for you?”
“Yarrick,” Connor dashed to the bar and hopped on a stool. “We need him now.”
“Huh…” The barkeep was uncomfortable. “Here’s the thing about Yarrick…”
Feeling as though Trant was going to direct him to me anyways I felt I’d just butt in on my own, “He’s unwell. But you have the eye of a man who needs help,” Pointing at myself and my compatriots I announced, “And usually we’re the people you come to for that around here.” After just a second of pondering I added, “Oftentimes with Yarrick. But again, he’s not doing well.”
“Are you beast slayers?” The hafflin asked.
Roan put his arm on my shoulder, “Kinda.” He inspected the tiny visitor with excessive suspicion. “Thing is, I know a thing or two about tricky bastards. And you got the stink all over you.”
“We already know a hafflin,” I explained. “And we wished we didn’t.”
Conor held his hands up in surrender, “I admit some of us are the worst.”
I crossed my arms judgmentally, “And how do we know you’re not one of them?”
“Relax,” Trant suggested. “He’s a friend of Yarricks.”
Roan snapped back, “Why the fuck do you think we don’t trust him?”
The suspicious hafflin pulled out a small but heavy bag and slammed it on the counter. Gold, silver, and copper coins poured out. “That’s all yours if you just come with me. I have even more afterwards if you follow the journey all the way through. Wouldn’t blame any of you for backing out if you fear the monster that must be slain.”
I don’t know if he knew what he just said to us, but we got the fuck up. “I’ll have you know, there are two words I never use in conjunction with each other. And those words are ‘turn down!’”
Raising an index finger Blondos pointed out, “He actually uses those words a lot together.” When I looked disappointed he admitted, “To be fair it’s always to say he doesn’t do it. Though I’m fairly confident I’ve seen him pussy out before.”
“I don’t turn down,” I declared, trying to ignore the hellkin.
“We don’t turn down,” Roan added.
“Great so you’ll help me?”
“Would you like to explain what’s going on first?” Syrielle was sitting on the stool behind him. “It’s a bit rude to just ask us to fight a monster and end the details there.”
“Of course,” Connor nodded, “I agree. But unfortunately there’s not much I can say. There’s hardly anything I know other than it’s coming for me…”
Having been missing for a few minutes Trant’s head popped back up from behind the counter. “It’s what now?”
“The beast comes for me,” Connor told him before he continued to explain to the rest of us. “My friends and I are treasure hunters. A risky business…”
Before he could go on, Trant shouted, “And my town didn’t take that risk…” He pointed out the door, “I like you buddy, but if you bring a monster to my town that opinion will change real quick.”
“Of course,” Connor nodded, “That’s why I’m offering so much gold for these folks to come with me right this instant. I have to get moving. The last thing I want is for that beast to come here.”
I snagged the bag and tossed it to Trant, “You mind keeping that safe for us?”
“Get him out now and you have a deal…”
Connor was moving out the door quickly and 4 of us followed with haste. There was a small donkey outside that was tied up to a tree. “I need to get moving, we have no idea how fast this thing is. I’ll explain as we go…”
We started walking alongside his donkey which definitely wasn’t running. After awkwardly looking back and forth between each other I asked, “So like, this is us coming along right? As we agreed.”
When he didn’t respond Syrielle clarified, “Explain more please.”
“Of course,” Connor nodded to her. “I’m a member of a gang of traveling treasure hunters. We’ve been dashing around the continent discovering old temples and hidden ruins with all kinds of goods. Problem is, in the land of Kayos. A thing or two is haunted, which often causes trouble. A couple weeks ago me and the boys picked open the wrong chest. And now, it’s coming…”
He rode in silence for a second before I said, “Can you tell us about it.”
“Huh?”
Annoyed by his ignorance I asked, “The thing that comes? Can you tell us about it?”
“Right,” The hafflin smiled like he wasn’t being awkward. “Anyways, once it was opened we found a letter telling us we have incurred the wrath of the Streax. None of us had any idea what that was. Have any of you heard that word before?”
When we confirmed we didn’t so the halffin continued his story, “Nobody has. After hitting the treasure we went our separate ways for a bit. That’s when we started hearing things. Through the grapevine,” Connor whimpered. “Some of our friends have just gone missing. Tim and Don were killed in their homes. The insides of their houses were torn apart. There appeared to be some sort of crater in the ground. That’s about all we know.”
“So it’s a meteor monster?” I thought it was a smart question.
“No…” Connor thought it was dumb. “The outside of the homes are fine. Nothing’s wrong with the ceiling or roof. Not even the walls. Whatever this beast is. It’s sneaking into the house, and causing chaos once inside. None of us have inspected it ourselves, it’s just what we’ve been told. Unfortunately we’ve had to be on the move since we heard the news.”
Roan gave a thumbs up, “Smart. Staying on your toes. Don’t let it sneak up on ya.”
“But we can’t run forever,” Connor shook his head. “My friend Bart and I came looking for Yarrick. He ain’t the best warrior we know, but he’s one of the smartest. Plus we heard he was in league with some great warriors.”
“And here we are…” I announced proudly.
“Well the three of us are,” Roan corrected me by pointing at Syrielle and Zorthos.
The journey to the abandoned town of SuezVille wasn’t long. I didn’t even know the story behind the empty village. Things just happen on Kayos. There were nearly fifty houses fairly close together, though many of them had their roofs caved in. We found the nicest one, both outside and inside. With a nice cozy bed that looked untouched once it was dusted off.
It didn’t take long for another donkey carrying a different hafflin to come trotting along, with a few normal sized men in tow, “Bart!” Connor shouted from up in the tree, “You crafty bastard where have you been?”
“Gathering soldiers,” Bart hopped off his stead. “I see you’ve done the same.” Looking us up and down the slightly taller hafflin declared, “Though I wish you could have rounded up some tougher lookin folk…
“Excuse me?” I was reasonably offended. “We’re pretty great.”
Extending my hand and bowing to my closest friend I declared, “Right here, we have The Mistress of Merciful Mayhem. When she hears a little carnage, she brings a lot. Syrielle Hano.” She curtsied very adorably.
Gesturing the other way I continued, “This crude gentleman with the funny face is none other than the sailor of the strangest honor, Roan,” He seemed to ponder the backhanded compliment as I moved on.
“Nearest him, is Zorthos the devil of the justice flame.” Now that motherfucker posed.
“And I am Elrin Daun of Gladland. The Fighting Writer.”
The tallest of the three men that followed Bart walked over and shook my hand. “My name’s Cliff. This is Sam. Thad. John. And that’s Darnel.” He showed no desire to speak to us after the introduction. I was really hoping to get to know these comrades before the combat, but the opportunity was not given.
Connor offered to play bait in the cozy home we picked out. We hoped this would give us the chance to see the monster coming for him. Roan and I waited inside with him. Bart, being an expert marksman, sat on a roof across the street. Syrielle perched on the rooftop next to him. Across the street from us was Thad and John with crossbows at the ready.
I had no idea where Zorthos even was. Perhaps he’d cast himself in some sort of illusion. Cliff, Sam, and Darnell were gathered on the outskirts of town, forming a perimeter. Each of them had a longsword and chainmail armor.
The two hafflin friends were confident that if they sat still just for the night, the beast would come. Unless it was after one of their other two treasure hunting friends that are on the run as well, but without knowing what was coming, we don’t know what variables mattered.
There were a few hours that went by without much happening. Roan and I talked about silly stuff around Grumbsy. Connor was a super nice guy and very talkative. He told me all about the fun journeys he and his comrades have had through the land of Kayos and beyond. Looking for fun trinket’s of all kinds to show off to anyone attracted to pretty things. They’d only raided about three crypts on the whole continent so far. Most of their work has been spent tracking them down, or doing their research before entering.
They had actually been investigating a nearby crypt when they got word of the demise of their friends. And the ones who died were known for being the best of their warriors. He didn’t share much else.
In the middle of an interesting story the hafflin was telling about a party with the kindest orcs he’d ever met, Zorthos suddenly blurted out, “Hey guys. My horns are tingling.”
“What does that mean?” Syrielle asked.
“It doesn’t happen a lot,” He replied, still hidden. “But I’m guessing danger.”
“That definitely sounds like danger,” Roan agreed. “I’m thinking danger.”
“Zorthos,” I yelled out the window looking around for a monster coming in. “When the hell did you start sensing danger? I feel like that’s useful information.”
“It happens SOMETIMES,” He shouted from the shadows. “And the danger thing is just a theory, if you were paying attention. We don’t know for sure.”
The ground began to rumble. For a moment I thought the beast must have been so massive it shook the Earth as it stomped its way to us. My mind raced to imagine what kind of behemoth it could be. Then I realized it was something else entirely. “Underneath!”
Roan figured it out just before I did and jumped towards the small man quickly lifting him to the ceiling. Right as Conor grabbed a bar above him the earth beneath them exploded. A large shark-like face was ferociously tearing through the bed that the hafflin was resting on just a second ago. Roan was knocked to the ground, but avoided the vicious teeth.
Three long thin arms on the beast’s right side dragged it quickly out of the hole, as it chomped in the air, trying to snatch the hafflin’s feet. When it dragged itself out I saw a total of ten limbs.
Arrows and spears flew in through the various windows. One of them was made of fire. The Streax dove back into its hole and began tunneling through the dirt. I shot it with an arrow as it was leaving, not realizing that I had spent the whole time with my back against the wall doing nothing. My arrow stuck but was lopped off as it descended into the Earth as the hole closed up behind it leaving behind what could easily be described as a crater.
“I think we got this,” I shouted to Connor without confidence.
“Doesn’t matter, I’m staying here,” He chirped back.
Hopping through a nearby window I dashed across the street to hop up on a shack behind a house, giving me the chance to hop down or up if I needed to.
“Was that a dirt shark?” Syrielle shouted excitedly.
“No it’s ground shark,” Zorthos yelled from wherever the fuck he was.
Connor shouted, “I told you it’s a Streax.”
“That’s dumb,” Zorthos yelled.
“Zorthos where are you?”
Sam had turned a corner just a few paces away from me. “The hell’s going on here?” He stomped along loudly, as he spun in a circle waving his sword around in search for the enemy.
I shouted, “I’d get off the ground if I was you…” Right as I said it, the dirt at his feet burst wide open. Massive jaws chomped him nearly in half, though he was just as dead either way.
The light post next to him summoned a flaming ax and hacked right into the creature’s side. It squealed a bit as I fired arrows. The dirt shark crawled towards me, but Syrielle ran to the side, cutting several of its legs. Darnell was on the other side and chopped at one of the other legs with his ax being much less successful than the samurai.
She circled around to his side to finish her work. The monster was privy to her move and rolled to its right. Crushing both Syrielle and Darnell. When it was back upright I noticed the katana sticking out of its side as it limped back towards the nearest hole it created. Darnell was unconscious. Syrielle stood up to pull her sword out. There was no chance she’d ever lose her weapon. Her pride gave the beast the chance to spin around and bite her shoulder. For a moment I thought she’d lose her arm. I didn’t quite see what she did, but it looked like she pried the mouth open with her sword, and ripped her arm out. Most of the skin was gone, replaced by a waterfall of blood.
Roan nailed a spear to the beast’s eye causing it to squeal. It lashed about searching for him. I dashed over, pulling the samurai away from danger after she’d completely collapsed from her injuries. When it turned to bite us again Zorthos was in between with his sword. Sam was there with a great sword of his own to assist the hellkin.
The whole time more arrows were firing at its side. Some of the bolts were sticking but others were bouncing off. Scurrying away, the Streax backed into the same hole it came out of. Once it went through, the Earth closed behind it. Leaving behind yet another crater.
I dragged Syrielle over to Roan, who was hanging down off of a roof ready to grab her. As he was pulling her up Zorthos shouted. “It’s coming again.” The hellkin was also climbing.
Realizing the beast was attacking a target I announced, “That’s me,” I smirked just barely handing my unconscious possibly dead best friend upwards. I thought of climbing now, but I needed to make sure he had a good grip on her. I couldn’t let her die.
From behind me I heard Sam yell out, “No he’s definitely on me.”
He was standing in the middle of the street, looking down. The Streex burst through the ground behind him, flying through the air towards its prey. Sam jammed his sword through the roof of its mouth, but it quickly adjusted and chomped down on his arm.
“Climb dumbass,” Roan barked, having fully pulled Syrielle up.
I did so. It was pretty easy. I’m good at climbing.
Then we just sat there for a little while. None of us really knew what to do. It was definitely probably waiting for us. I decided to go down there and see what would happen. As I walked down the street, Zorthos shouted. “Dude he’s coming.”
As fast as I could I ran to a nearby house, and the beast came bursting through the ground behind me. I hopped quickly using some sturdy boxes and low walls to climb up to the roof with ease. It smashed through the wall underneath me, and the whole house collapsed.
I hopped right off the side, landing clean on the ground. Without hesitation I dove back into the debris. The Streax scrambled around tossing bricks and rubble about. It tore through a large pile, awkwardly dragging itself towards me.
This is it. I was not going to turn down. Not for nothing. The beast’s legs were injured from Syrielle’s attack earlier, preventing it from lunging. What looked like a hundred teeth were charging straight for my head.
But not quick enough.
I dug my rapier straight through the roof of its mouth. The blade went deeper than I thought. As the beast chomped down I reacted quickly, stepping to the side, but holding my blade where it was. Just at the final moment my enemy’s mouth chomped down, I pulled my hand out. The hilt of the sword dug into its own lower teeth, driving the rest of the blade through its skull.
The end of my rapier stuck out the top of the creature as it lay motionless.
“Holy shit!”
“By poisedon’s dick!” Roan ran up next to me, holding a torch in his left hand near his gloveless right hand. “Did you just fuck that that thing up?”
“Syrielle?”
“She’s stable…”
“You’re goddamn right I fucked that thing up.” Then I slapped it on what I presumed was its ass.