Previous Chapter : Next Chapter
“KEGS HERE!” The large dwarf shouted carrying the barrel over his shoulder.
“KEGS ON KEGS,” An even larger dwarf holding two was walking right behind him.
Vergusson happened to also be carrying a keg and multiple people were confused where he found it. But nobody complained. How could anybody be upset with nearly a dozen kegs about.
Yet we weren’t sure if that was hardly enough to care for the guests of Grumbsy.
Hopping on stage with a guitar in my hand I blasted off.
Nary a pair of feet weren’t tipping and tapping. Over a thousand people had gathered. Perhaps more than two thousand. Trant had finally reached his goal of 200 homes before the end of the year. And not only that, but we knew of nearly a hundred other new houses built in the forests nearby.
And so, “Frontier Days” had begun.
We laughed. We cried.
We poured a toast for those who’ve died.
I managed to stay rather sober for the most part. Realizing I was truly the heart of the party, it was my responsibility not to puke and pass out as I had done so many times before. Not that folks around here didn’t love that shit. Particularly the ones who want to throw the tomatoes.
There was an old man with a monocle, who was walking around selling squash to people in the crowd. I had a feeling he was some sort of assassin, and I told Trant who informed Zorthos who was trying to be cool in front of Glish and Verg.
By the end of the late part of the evening, after most of the crowd had departed, I found myself at the tavern. Trying to catch the ever living fuck up with the party. Trant had a smile as wide as the River Stoan. I wondered if he’d take a little break from expanding the town to get his bearings in. Knowing him, he’ll be going for 400 homes in 3 months.
Roan was bickering at the barkeep about something or other. After some of the crowd moved out I heard him yell, “If you figured out how to open it, bring that shit out?”
“Bar look empty yet?”
“Verg,” Roan shouted, “Get them farts going.”
Trant pointed a furious finger at the half-orc “You ruin tonight’s business and you will buy every round of Troll you ever drink here for the rest of your life.”
Never had I seen Verg this horrified. “I have to go.”
As he got up and dashed out Glish explained, “Yeah once he’s in the zone there’s only so much he can do…”
Nobody responded for a bit.
“So anyways,” Roan shouted, “Bring out the box.”
Trant was irritated, but after examining the empty bar he declared, “Fine, the rest of the staff can handle the place for a little bit.” Not able to hold back his own smile, the barkeep and town leader walked into the back of his shop.
After rummaging around for a bit, he came back out dragging the large treasure chest we took from the Dharrk Heimr caves a few weeks before. Most people saw him do so and got up from their seats to leave. “See, Roan this is why I didn’t want to do this?”
“Then why did you?” The sailor mocked as if he didn’t just beg for it.
“Because you told me to,” Trant argued.
Looking around the room Roan declared, “So I have authority here. It’s official. You all heard it.” Nobody challenged his claim. Trant just grumbled.
Syrielle walked next to the box with curiosity. “If you two are done flirting would you…”
“Of course,” Trant pulled the green blade knife we saw him use to cut through a completely different locked treasure chest. Once again he carved a massive hole out of one entire side. A massive pile of emeralds and gems of all colors poured out, along with several books, small mirrors, and a variety of jewelry.
Knowing my friends would see the value in the rest, I first reached for the books. For the most part they were simply old historical documents that I would be fascinated to read later if I wasn’t meeting the boys for drinks tomorrow and next week. But I will try to make time soon.
Though, much like the collection of books we found before in the crypt, there was yet another book with instructions to the dark mystical arts. Before I grabbed it, Roan scooped it up, “We should probably make sure you don’t lose your soul reading this?”
“So Trant,” I waved the books around, “Ready to start that library?”
“What’s with you and the library?” He whined.
“I’m a writer.”
As I continued to pick up the books I heard Zorthos shout, “GLISH DON’T!” The helkin ripped one of the mirrors out of the hafflin’s hand. The devilman was perfectly fine holding the trinket, whereas Glish appeared almost paralyzed.
Roan was at the hafflin’s side in a moment pulling his left glove off asking for a knife. A moment later it was in his hand, and I don’t know who tossed it to him, so I’m guessing Yarrick was there. Roan quickly cut the cross on his hand then shoved his hand on Glish’s head. Golden light glowed as the hafflin shook out his arms.
“Damn I’m pretty… Huh…” He looked around confused. “What’s going on?”
Trant took a few steps back, “Nobody touch anything else.”
“I can touch things,” Zorthos raised his hands.
“Okay Zorthos touch everything,” Trant commanded. “And get it the hell out of here.”
The hellkin nodded, but also just stood there. When Trant continued to stare at Zorthos, the devilman asked, “Well I have no idea where to put it. Like do you want it on the street or something?”
After a moment’s thought Trant said, “Try to put it all back in the box, and take it out back. We’ll figure out where’s the best place to both sell and dump what we can and need tomorrow…”
“If people wanna buy it why do we wanna sell it. Obviously it’s cool,” Glish said.
“I say we hold it for ransom,” Verg suggested.
Trant ignored the two and continued. “I know of a city down south. Has a Triarchy. It’s ruled by 3 men. Governing together. And they do quite well. They may have some folk that buy things of this nature for a much heftier price than you’d find anywhere else in Kayos.”
“I don’t think Triarchies are a thing,” Roan challenged.
“What was that?” Trant appeared offended by the seaman’s words.
“I said I don’t think Triarchies are a thing.”
“Why?” The Titan’s Trap owner was very upset about being challenged.
Roan waved his hands about as if he was a teacher, “Well there’s like a patriarchy, a monarchy, but I don’t think a Triarchy is a thing.”
Trant shook his head frustrated. “Go read a book.”
“Well he could if there was a library,” I crossed my arms at Trant with a pout.
“When he’s right he’s right,” Roan pointed at me proudly while looking at the barkeep. Then he continued to argue, “Archy implies royalty,” It does not for the record. It just means the government. I looked it up later. But at the time I didn’t correct Roan and let him ramble. “Which implies this is ruled by 3 families. 3 queens. 3 princesses. 3 kings.”
“Yeah.” Trant was confused by the confusion. “In a counsel.”
The wizard shook his head in disbelief. “I wanna go to this country, where 3 kings rule peacefully together.” He slammed down his troll. “That’s what I wanna do today. Forget whatever anybody else’s plans are, that’s what I wanna do.”
“That sounds like a fairytale,” Verg added. “Doesn’t sound real.”
“Well why don’t you see for yourselves?” Trant taunted. “I got a boat going there soon. You can hop on. Sell all this crap. And check the place yourselves.”
There was no reason not to do whatever he was suggesting so we agreed. The boat was leaving in two days. I spent much of the time training my ass off, though there’s only so much improvement one can make in that amount of time.
The morning of our departure we were all on time. Trant arrived at the port, with a large wooden crate. 4 feet long, 2 feet wide, and 3 feet tall, tied on ropes and nails keeping it shut. It was the package he had hired us to deliver; he also paid off a captain at the port to allow us to come aboard. All expenses paid but we did have to agree to perform basic tasks to keep the boat afloat.
Of course we understood that as adventurers, if any sort of sea combat scenario were to come about, we were likely going to take over. Trant also handed Syrielle an envelope requesting she specifically deliver it to his old friend Monty at the Arcane Spire.
When we asked where to find the Spire he insisted we couldn’t miss it.
The boat was about 40 feet long, with twin masts. And as you could probably guess there was some fancy decoration about. The captain, A man named Alonzo, was yelling out pointless instructions to his crew who were all already doing what he was telling them.
“I’ve been waiting to be on a boat…” Roan grinned. “For so long.” He proudly walked forward,
“Gonna show these boys how to sail.” He turned around, “What’s the name of this ship?”
“The Joharys,” Alonzo replied.
“A fine name for a ship like this,” Roan shook the captain’s hand. “Let me know if there’s anything you need from me or my crew.”
Glish was quick to whine, “Oh so we’re your crew now?”
“When we’re on a boat we’re my crew,” Roan snapped and I kinda agreed.
We looked forward to the figurehead on the front of the boat. None of us could tell what the horrible sculpture was. We asked, and he pulled out his own equally horrible drawing, for which the figurehead sculpture was based on, “If anyone asks, that is a badger on the front of the ship. It looks nothing like a badger, but that’s what it is. We’re using our imaginations here.” Alonzo declared proudly.
“Good because I will forget what that is,” I explained.
After respecting the badger, we settled in, and The Joharys set sail. There were 9 crew members aboard the Joharys. Ian, Bobby, Joey, Matty, Garfunkle, W, Plups, Mort, and Crummy Don. There was also a monkey, named Wilton Chamberpots, who often sat on Captain Alonzo’s shoulder.
The alcohol they had on board was called Grog. It was water just rummed up enough that it could be drunk and stored. Low alcohol content, not a great taste.
“Gonna figure out how to spice this up a notch,” Roan announced in disapproval. He quickly began inquiring around the squad who was packing extra ingredients.
Everyone searched their belongings. Yarrick was already standing next to Roan. With a bottle and several large jugs in his hand. “I got harder rum. To mix it with the water rum.”
“That’ll do…” Roan smiled.
I looked the little man up and down trying to figure out, “Where the fuck did those even come from?” The robes he wore were actually pretty tight against his body yet he always had weird objects for no reason.
At the helm of the Joharys, the captain steered his ship, with a stubborn intoxicated tattooed scoundrel standing directly to his left, backseat boating.
After eating a poor meal, we mopped the deck, and began to sing sailory songs. Of course I wanted to lead, but Roan insisted he be the one to take control, and I allowed it.
He didn’t know any songs though. So I continued to lead.
Row row row your boat
Gently down the streaaammmmm
Merrily Merrily Merrily
I was interrupted by Captain Alonzo who said nothing.
Shortly after that I passed out. Then I woke up the next day drinking again.
Roan kept insisting we were going the wrong way. He was very confident, but Alonzo insisted we were fine. Through the expert use of his tools, Roan drunksplained to the man his incorrect decisions and the captain corrected his course. My fellow human was the most competent sailor I had ever seen.
Alonzo offered him the position as a helmsman right then and there, a position that was only held by Crummy Don. “Sure,” Roan shrugged, taking the helm giving Alonzo the opportunity to go to sleep.
Yarrick climbed up to the top of the nest of the masts, and set up camp up there to keep watch. The rest of my compatriots tied hammocks to the bottom deck of the ship. After some light conversation, and watching Wilton Chamberpots doing some basic dancing, we went to bed.
Roan, Glish and Verg, began puking. Some seaman Roan was. Had so much respect for him before that moment. Of course he did drink a lot. Still, he took great pride in that as a sailor.
During a time of very calm seas, our wonderful water craft began to rock a little too hard. Followed by the sound of a loud knock, I don’t think the current had anything to do with either event. And Yarrick from way above loudly declared his feelings on the situation. “Nhhooooo, Ohh mannn noooooo.”
Trying to sound more bard like than usual I shouted, “What danger awaits us?”
“Guys,” Syrielle yelled, as Vergusson moaned loudly, I believe he was pretending to be a fish. She slapped him on the shoulder and pointed towards the back of the ship. “Guys… Guys… Guys.” Finally we all looked.
Out of the sea, gripping onto the back of the boat, was a large tentacle wrapping itself around the Joharys. “A KRAKEN!” Alonzo screamed. Weapons were drawn, and a few seaman shit themselves. For The Grumbsy Gang, on the other hand, this was just another day.
The samurai and the barbarian dashed forward without any hesitation. I assumed we were about to be fighting a beast with six arms. But it was quicker than we thought. The tentacles the two warriors targeted whipped out of the way while another came swiping across the deck knocking both of the mightiest warriors on the ship out to sea with one move.
“Oh I’m gonna turn him into Calamari,” Nydorri screeched then did nothing.
More of the creature emerged from the sea, surrounding the boat. A large gaping maw, perched itself at the front of the vessel near the so-called badger. Yarrick was firing arrows from above but was the only person armed with a ranged weapon at the moment.
Still not doing anything Nydorri asked, “Wait, where should I strike?”
“That’s its head,” Alonzo screamed pointing his sword at the creature that was climbing on the front of the ship. The captain roared at the sea creature, “You leave the badger alone!”
“Oh yeah,” The elf maiden oddly giggled realizing it was obvious where she should strike, “I’m gonna make him into calamari,” she said again almost in a whisper.
“What?” The Captain asked.
“She’s gonna turn him into calamari.” I told him. “She said it twice.”
Nydorri leapt off the side of the boat, transforming into a shark before she fell out of view. That might have been the dumbest thing she could have done, but it was probably the coolest.
I was at the far end of the boat, but when I looked off to the side, I could see Syrielle and Vergusson keeping their heads above water trying to swim after us. “What are you looking for?” Roan shouted. “There aren’t any weapons out there.”
The tentacles began to wrap even tighter around the ship. The wood holding us above water creaked and cracked, as The Joharys began to compress under the immense strength of this beast. One of the arms had reached through the door to the lower deck resulting in screams. A moment later, smoke appeared. Candles from below must have spilled.
Zorthos appeared and began slashing through the tentacle attacking people below. Another arm of the sea creature wrapped around him. But a moment later he became smoke again.
“Wake the men, Get the harpoons,” Roan cried out as if there were men still asleep. To be fair he concentrated pretty hard on steering the ship straight, insisting it was the wise decision. “Someone get me rocks and some fire.”
The men had already made their way up the stairs on the back side with harpoons and spears. Glish had emerged as well with his crossbow firing at the face of the large eight armed killer.
A youthful shipmate named Ian dashed towards one of the arms squeezing the sides and slashed it with his sword. When he looked around to see which arm would come for him, the one he just cut wrapped around him.. The young man screamed and flailed about hopelessly.
“Goodbye Ian,” Yarrick casually announced.
“No Ian No,” I cried out.
Roan complained, “He owed me money.”
Ian was flung about 400 meters out into the ocean, disappearing.
I almost broke into tears, “That’s how strong this thing is?”
Zorthos had torn up and burned several arms, keeping the creature mostly occupied on him. Though he was clearly growing exhausted from being forced to constantly transform into smoke. And, the creature’s head was crawling closer to the middle of the boat, giving the arms the reach to attack those of us that kept our range.
As all its arms were occupied, and most of my ranged attacks being fairly useless at the moment, I took a second to utilize one of my greatest weapons. My mind. Through my years of researching the arcane arts, I figured I had to have heard of something regarding this large beast.
It was about ten times too small to be a Kraken, and it also has not asked any questions or casted any spells. Both are things that Krakens do. Clearly this was just a regular large octopus or squid.
Not like it really mattered because the edge of one of its arms began whipping towards the mast, and I didn’t like that at all. So I jumped out and started dueling with that specific arm for a second, until Yarrick dropped down and sliced straight through it.
Another leg snapped around to grab him, whipping his body fast and hard out towards the sea. I couldn’t see his body at all. “I still don’t know who he is.” A second later I was fighting another arm and Yarrick was by my side assisting me.
I have absolutely no idea what trick he pulled to survive that.
“Can’t you use your spear?”
He shook his head, “I alread told you. I can’t use it too much in one day.”
Looking around at the empty sea I screamed, “WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU USE IT DOAY??
A loud banging noise from behind me coincided with a small hole bursting in one of the arms. Then another one. Roan’s right glove was off and his thumb was aflame. Crummy Don was next to him holding a torch. He appeared to have something in his other hand, but I let them live their life as I dodged a tentacle.
The not-Kraken’s attack was far from finished. Shipmates began stabbing at the arms wrapped around the ship hoping to destabilize it, but the massive squid had a good enough grip with its mouth. Freeing its arms to attack back with everything.
Thankfully, Zorthos disabled several arms with the help of everyone else.
Blood poured from multiple orifices of the creature. I’ve never been more confident that we, as a group, may die. But the creature the gods decided to drag us into hades may just be going down with us.
Alonzo, furious over the attack on his ship, dashed forward with his cutlass to attack the head. The creature pulled itself forward again, and with one swift bite Alonzo disappeared in a spray of blood. He was there and then he wasn’t. He was just gone. End of Alonzo’s story.
“Guys we lost Alonzo,” I announced.
“Yup,” Yarrick acknowledged.
“Guess who got an upgrade on the ship…”
Like I said before, Roan was honorable, he just didn’t like to be.
Furious at what happened to Alonzo, Crummy Don dashed across the ship and drove his feet square into the beast’s face just above the mouth. Then he scooped up the cutlass on the ground and stabbed in the face.
“That boy is fighting for the position of captain,” I yelled out.
“That’s captain material,” Glish agreed.
“You’ve got a challenge here,” I taunted Roan.
“Not even,” He whined.
“He’s crummy, and he’s kickin a squid!” I cheered.
Zorthos was at the far end of the ship, breathing heavily and showing no signs of continuing to fight. Glish was standing just outside of range of a tentacle dueling with the tip, while Yarrick was on the head stabbing it with his dagger. Roan was still blasting away.
A different squid arm snatched Glish. Just as it prepared to whip him out, a katana sliced straight through it releasing the hafflin to the deck. Syrielle then sprinted at the head. Vergusson already was ripping into it with his ax.
It squealed horrendously. Then the deck was covered in blank muck.
“Ewwww, it’s inking,” Yarrick whined.
As an educated man, I understood what that meant. “It’s fleeing!”
“It’s just gonna bring friends back,” Syrielle argued. “It has to die now.”
“That’s not how that works,” Roan shouted.
I would not allow this monster to run. This day, it was our bitch. “Die you vile beast,” my rapier stabbed straight through the nearest tentacle that was still that was harassing Plups.
Roan continued blasting it in the face with stone bullets. Vergusson swung his ax, cutting through one of the tentacles at the base. Blood poured out all over the deck as the creature released all of its grips. The wounds from the battle were just too much as the giant creature went lifeless, slipping off the boat into the sea.
“This tentacle must have been the source of its power,” The barbarian prince exclaimed, leaping off the not-kraken’s head, returning to the boat.
The sea splashed red waves over us, we raised our arms, bathed in the blood of friend and foe. It seemed to be a frequent thing for us and the gore was no longer a bother. Nothing can stop us, and onward we went.
“Uh guys,” Roan exclaimed immediately. “This boat could be in better condition.”
A loud cracking noise came from the back of the ship. The rear mast began to fall over, snapping us into realizing our boat was sinking.
“Alright,” The half orc smiled, accepting the challenge of skill presented to us.
We are adventurers after all, not just sell swords.
Roan sprinted forward, with the vast seaman experience he has had throughout his life. I could tell he thought it best we act quickly, lest we end up in Poseidon’s Keep.
A portion of the mast hung off the side of the ship, so Yarrick delivered an incredibly powerful strike with his dagger, to the weakest, part severing it allowing the part that hung off to sink into the ocean. The less weight the better and it was doing us no good. Syrielle dashed over to flip over lifeboats for the same purpose.
“Great shipmates of the Joharys.” I yelled loudly throughout the ship. “Use your skills to save us this day. We did not slay a Kraken-wanna-be just to die to the sea!”
The dumbstruck sailors whipped into shape immediately. A couple of them ran downstairs yelling, “Bilge pump! Bilge pump!” Another one ran over to harvest ropes for us to use. 2 more also ran downstairs to help unload unnecessary cargo.
Nydori ran down after them and didn’t know how to help.
Vergusson held his ax out intimidatingly. “Don’t sink!” He roared at the boat. I don’t know what he was expecting, but the sailors were terrified of his rage and began working faster. “That’ll do too,” He shrugged.
Crummy Don, being the majestically heroic sailor that he is, grabbed hold of a rope and jumped off the side, presumably attempting to tie the rope through one of the holes on the side to pull part of the front mast back up to raise the sail that’s left.
“Ehh, that was gonna be my next move,” I whispered.
Yarrick, attempted to swiftly pick up all the pieces of wood on the ground he could, but tripped over something and fell on his face. It’s just something that happened and I watched it happen. Nobody ever believed me.
Syrielle turned to the crewmen who appeared hopeless. “Don’t worry it’s fine,” She spoke with the heart of a leader. “We’ve been through much worse, this will soon be just another war story now let’s keep going.”
They were greatly inspired by her words. Which upset me because that’s my thing.
Copying Crummy Don’s move, despite claiming it was mine, I grabbed hold of a rope and dove off the side of the ship. “Not today Poseidon!” With the perfect curve I swung out towards the sea, and back into one of the open holes pulling the rope along with me. I did not have the strength to pull it up yet, but with assistance, we have the positioning on the rope.
“Uh…” Vergusson noted. “I would not be mocking the god of the sea right now.”
“For real,” Roan agreed. “I’m about to pray to him.”
The half orc nodded and ran downstairs to look for materials to block up the hole with.
Roan dashed over, to where Alonzo’s corpse would have been, and picked up his super distinct, large purple hat with a yellow feather on it, that literally nobody noticed he was wearing. He charismatically announced, “Poseidon you took my Jesebelle, you can’t have my crew too.” Who is this Jesebelle?
“That’s your prayer?” I mocked.
“Yeah that’s my prayer,” He smiled with pride.
I shook my head at the hypocrisy. “That’s worse than what I said to him.”
“You’re both just shit talking a god,” Vergusson Agreed.
The sun came through the clouds just slightly, and there was a warm breeze on all of our faces. Whether his prayer taunted the god or not, he brought the grace of Poseidon with it.
Yarrick flipped to his feet, tumbling over the lifeboat in front of him, and began to drag it down the stairs, to use its wood to patch up the holes.
Syrielle and I ran around patching up the little holes in the ship that we could find.
“Here’s a hole, here’s a hole, here’s a hole, here’s a hole,” I exclaimed, finding tons of openings. During my inspection I found a small bucket of tar, and began to brush it over the holes I found and the water stopped pouring in.
The druid used her great natural skills to charm the monkey into assisting us. Her masterful ability did the trick and Wilton Chamberpots began running around fixing holes in cracks with scraps of wood ignoring the waste deep water.
“I’ll pray too,” Vergusson announced as he began to mumble in orcish.
Plups and Ricky were arguing and swearing at each other, discontinuing their work.
“Who did you pray to?” Roan asked the half orc.
“Yeah, did you pray to Hades?” I was most frustrated. “‘Hey bud see ya soon.’”
The half orc shrugged and shook his head. “I guess so.” That’s actually what he said, he wasn’t sure who he was praying to or what he was saying.
Crummy Don and a couple other members of the crew, patched up one of the largest holes, and water stopped flowing in. We were no longer sinking but there was still a lot of work before we could relax.
Yarrick ran over to inspect the bilge pump, but claimed it to be unfixable.
Syrielle, in frustration, punched Plups in the face, breaking his nose, and the other crewman raised his arms terrified and backed away from the scary samurai.
My comrades’ methods were wrong, inspiration through the art of persuasion is so much more useful than fear and intimidation. They simply couldn’t find the words that an artist could “Mighty seaman, get the barrels and get the water out of the boat.” Nodding their heads Plups and the rest of the men created an assembly line and began passing buckets of water out to the top deck and of course out to sea.
“You know the captain has to go down with the ship,” Vergusson explained to Roan. As the man steering the ship puckered his lips and looked at Crummy Don, the half orc patted him on the back, “You may have to give him the hat.”
A large tree magically sprouted from where the back mast once was.
Crummy Don wanted to help but he did not know what to do. “Hey hey hey,” He announced, mostly speaking to his men. “Alright guys, we just need to probably do like one more thing, but we can only afford a couple more fucks ups.”
We spent the next 4 days, pretty much not sleeping, using buckets to constantly keep water out of the bottom of the boat. Roan and Crummy Don, worked together to try to keep this boat as straight as possible.
I bonded with Plups.
On a very cloudy day, to our excitement, we spotted land up ahead. The closer we got, the more we realized it was a massive city behind a large open storm wall for us to sail through. There were hundreds of buildings, but three towers much larger than the rest.
We had finally arrived at Koph Mana. The Metropolis of Kayos.