{"id":196,"date":"2024-10-22T17:23:05","date_gmt":"2024-10-22T17:23:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=196"},"modified":"2024-11-18T22:33:56","modified_gmt":"2024-11-18T22:33:56","slug":"elrin-daun-and-the-grumbsy-gang-chapter-3-wicked-performer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=196","title":{"rendered":"Elrin Daun and the Grumbsy Gang – Chapter 3: Wicked Performer"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin Everywhere<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin Everywhere<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Rocking Everywhere<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Rocking Everywhere<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I found you<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Miss New Booty<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The dance floor produced movements unlike any they\u2019d seen from themselves. Their booties undoubtedly were rocking everywhere from the very beginning to the climatic end of my performance. None had heard this type of music before. But that often time produces the best of parties.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan was in the middle of the crowd, dancing harder<\/span> than any other near him. Why wouldn\u2019t he? His responsibilities were over once he brought the entertainment to do all the work.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI need a song boy tonight,\u201d He announced the morning of my performance, dragging me out of the Titan\u2019s Trap just a moment after I had walked in from my adventure the day before. \u201cAnd you’re the only bard I see?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou need me to sing a tune for this lovely lady?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo but\u2026 Well yes\u2026\u201d Roan stammered for an answer, \u201cLook Daisy\u2019s from Nayberton. A really close town a bit to the North. They got this festival going on. Her dad\u2019s dead, it’s a whole thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> The girl kindly explained that her father, a muscician, had passed recently. Also she was much younger than I thought. Roan also seemed upset to learn her real age. <\/span>Her father promised his guitar to the festival and she vowed to find a replacement.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unsure what to do, she traveled to the closest town in search of anyone that can play and fulfill her father\u2019s final promise. There she found Roan. Without actually knowing me very well, he claimed to be dear friends, but not best friends, with a performer currently residing in Grumbsy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While I didn\u2019t trust Roan, his adventure appeared to be the least dangerous of any thus far and potentially the most financially beneficial. Though it\u2019d been years since I\u2019d practiced any music consistently. My half-elf teacher gave me lessons for a variety of instruments in my youth. But for the last two years the majority of my small amount of studies have been focused on the pen, and the blade.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yet, I was not going to turn down. Not for this challenge, nor any other.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were a few families heading in that direction, but they made plenty of room for us in their wagons. I was given the opportunity to practice the instrument for the whole trip. Much to everybody\u2019s enjoyment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

About a half a day\u2019s ride we arrived at the small town of Nayberton. It was about half the size of Grumbsy, with a quarter of the marketplace. They had a tiny little stage that opened out into a nice field for people to gather. It looked to have been built today based on the freshness of the wood and the fact that people were literally still building it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The caravan workers waved the travel fee for all three of us due to me entertaining everyone the whole way. While I might not be a great writer, nor a particularly good fighter, my skills as a performer were a bit more notable. The performing arts always came naturally to me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Also these people had no idea what good music was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The crowd was nearing a hundred. Most appeared to be locals living in the nearby homes. Though I spotted some who appeared to be from the indigenous tribes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Humans, elves, dwarves, hafflin, even a few orcs.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daisy quickly guided us to a tent where a hafflin, nearly three feet tall, and a dubblin, nearly twelve feet tall, were both shouting orders at a group of humans carrying barrels.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t get this right\u2026\u201d The short one shouted, \u201cI\u2019ll bury all of you alive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s exaggerating,\u201d The tall one said just as loudly. \u201cBut we\u2019ll do something bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen you furry footed fucks,\u201d A human replied. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me what to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Daisy tried to speak but was too nervous, Roan noticed and announced, \u201cExcuse me gentleman. My lovely lady friend here tells me you are in need of a performer. Aye, we got the greatest Song Boy in all the land right here.\u201d His arm squeezed around me, and I popped my thumb up with enthusiasm. For all I knew about Kayos, he was right.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While neither seemed excited to see me, the pair sure was in a rush to get me on the stage. They dragged me over immediately, just as they \u201cfinished\u201d building it. I wasn\u2019t even sure what the details of the festival were about, so I started out by introducing myself the way I had been all along.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Obviously nobody was impressed because why would they be. That\u2019d be weird. But they were happy to have someone up there with a guitar.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I am new to war<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know a ton<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But one thing you don\u2019t do<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Is mess with Vergusson<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re with Syrielle<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

There\u2019s almost no drama<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

She\u2019ll end it really quick<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

With a stroke of her katana<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

It\u2019s Easy to say<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

The Devilman is bad<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But Zorthos is good<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

So that would make me mad<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

They came over the hills<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And I was next to Nydorri<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

She knelt down and trees grew<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

It was quite the story<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I really need to work on my freestyling skills. I\u2019m pretty bad and it\u2019s honestly very embarrassing. There were some kids that appeared a little entertained, but most of the older folks just looked bored or cringed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Feeling the crowd\u2019s waning interest, I switched it up and started covering older songs like the legendary Booty Song titled <\/span>Ms. New Booty<\/span><\/i>. On the stage my skills were really able to shine. While a small few may have appreciated the goofy rhymes I made up on the spot at the start of the show, all of them seemed to absolutely love the art that had been created by thousands of musicians throughout the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All they needed was a man with a little bit of talent to bring it out.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I was living like a king. I may not be the leader on any battlefield, and I may have been removed from the academy for literary incompetence, but today I was a god. For I was worshiped all the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I went on for several hours. Far longer than they expected and a little longer than they wanted. I just couldn\u2019t get off the stage, I couldn\u2019t help but soak it all in.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why would I create<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

If not for others to appreciate<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure I came up with that one.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eventually the dubblin stepped in and ended my performance. Though with a huge smile on his face. The hafflin quickly tossed me a bag of coins. Shortly after that I met the mayor, a young man named Javier, who tipped me just a little bit more coin and promised I could drink for free in the tavern. The crowd had mostly gone home, but many were still having a drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Inside the tavern I was greeted with enormous cheers. A drink was in my hand before I got to the bar. Roan had his arm around me the moment I got there announcing we\u2019re best friends while saying literally nothing nice about me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTwinkle Dick likes to fight but doesn’t know how that\u2019s why I got his back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe sings good because his dicks is small.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook at how gay his outfit is, he doesn\u2019t fuck ladies.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The last one wasn\u2019t inherently an insult, it was only that I had just said hello to a very lovely lady. She might have been the prettiest thing I\u2019ve met on this continent. At least, for people who make eye contact. And she looked older than myself which was comforting.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sailor\u2019s comment didn\u2019t really discourage her from talking to me. She still kept her pretty eyes locked on mine as I giggled, holding out my hand I asked, \u201cAnd what is your name?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJessy,\u201d She shook softly and confidently. \u201cThat was an incredible show.\u201d The beautiful maiden gestured towards a small crowd of women nearby. None of whom had caught my eye but all of them giggled when I looked. \u201cIt seems you\u2019ve casted spells on all the women here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I\u2019m quite the wicked performer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She chuckled at my clever comment, her hand lightly parted the hair out of her face, and it was obvious from the way her head tilted what her intentions were for me this evening. \u201cI doubt it\u2019s particularly powerful magic. Considering how naturally charming the performer is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do imagine I will have a song to sing by the time I leave this town,\u201d At no point did I even consider breaking eye contact with her. And I was delighted to see that she was clever enough to understand what my comment meant. Or was at least flirtatious enough to just go along with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We were quickly interrupted by folks asking me questions about my battles and my studies. They were convinced I was the greatest warrior they\u2019d ever seen. I insisted I wasn\u2019t that good, but never really clarified how bad. Outside of sparring I\u2019ve never won a fight, and I had just lost my first actual sword duel yesterday. Other than that I\u2019ve only had a couple of rounds of fisty cuffs out on the streets and that didn\u2019t end well for me at all. They were big guys though, but still.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Despite these failures, I had won a woman a time or two in my day. And I felt this was going to be one of those times. Despite people constantly getting in my way, I managed to work my way through the crowd and back to Jessy who was delighted to see me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All she said was simple, \u201cHey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I just as simply replied, \u201cHey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before any other words could even be said, an angry voice caught everyone\u2019s attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJessy you fucking slut what are you doing?\u201d A man roughly my size shoved his way through the crowd. \u201cYou get away from my woman you dickless fuck.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From behind me, Roan shot back \u201cIf he doesn\u2019t have a dick why are you worried?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause he\u2019s seen what I can do with my tongue.\u201d<\/span> Sometimes I try a little too hard to be clever.<\/span><\/i> I stepped back with my hands up, as I noticed the crowd scattering. Several other men had stepped towards me, appearing quite hostile.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The yelling man grabbed Jessy\u2019s arm and attempted to speak with her but she whipped her hand away screeching, \u201coh the gods Phil, get over it,\u201d and then continued to be just the absolute worst cunt she could be. I mean this bitch could not have worked harder to make this situation worse if she was cursed to do so.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three friends of his walked up and stood behind him. To emphasize my surrender I took another step back and bumped right into the seaman who didn\u2019t sound like he was going to be very helpful.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI got you,\u201d He said, stepping to my left and patting me on the shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRoan relax, there\u2019s at least four of them and two of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean two?\u201d The drunken sailor asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I pointed between us and counted with my other hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Confused, he asked, \u201cWhat about Yarrick?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He pointed to my other side, \u201cMy buddy Yarrick.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I looked to my right and found a familiar short figure wearing a black hood. \u201cWho?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no time for answers as the angry husband shoved his wife behind him and took another step towards me. \u201cYou think cuz you got songs and you wear some pretty clothes and have some friends that you could just fuck what you want eh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen I didn\u2019t know,\u201d I assured him, taking one tiny step forward. Feeling it was best to put Roan, the aggressor, behind me. I had no experience diffusing scenarios like this, but I\u2019m smarter than most.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Debatably.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll smash your face in!\u201d Phil growled but didn\u2019t shout.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cKick him in the dick!\u201d Roan shouted behind me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDick kick dick kick!\u201d I think it was Yarrick shouting but I was a bit focused on the actual threat and not the men antagonizing him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure we can all go on our merry ways without a problem,\u201d My efforts to pour water on the fire was not working at all. \u201cI don\u2019t need to say another word to your lady.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One of his friends stepped around him towards Roan. The sailor pointed at the aggressor and shouted, \u201cI\u2019ll smash your face in quicker than my boy can get that whores pants off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was I who was punched in the face first.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And once again, I was in a throng of violence. There may not be swords or magic spells. But this man hit hard, and knocked me on my ass. I was on my feet before he could follow up and the whole place erupted into a brawl immediately.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yet I couldn\u2019t see anything around me, I was too busy dodging punches, throwing punches and then of course taking punches. Thankfully, all against one opponent. At one point we clinched and I slammed some elbows into his forehead.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He threw me to the ground and kneed me hard on the stomach on the way down. After he threw another knee I tripped him. We rolled around for a little bit until I had to kick him off of me and scramble away from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou got this!\u201d I heard Roan shout. \u201cKick his ass you musical bitch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Most of the commotion had appeared to stop. The two of us were fighting for a couple minutes. Keeping the corner of my eye on my foe I looked around to see a bunch of people lying around all over the place, unconscious or moaning. Yarrick was sitting on top of a pile of three men with his arms and legs crossed. Roan had his foot on the chest of a very large man while another scooted away from him trembling in fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no time to absorb more details as the fists started flying again. This time we gave each other some space and tried to find our own shots. I fainted left, feinted right, took a punch square on the chin.<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> As bad as it hurt I managed to tag him with a shot of my own to keep him off of me as I regained my composure. \u201cKick his ass twinkle dick. If you lose, we lose. \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a bloody nose and a swollen lip, my enemy laughed at me, \u201cTwinkle dick.\u201d He just repeated the insult as if that made him clever. \u201cYou think you\u2019re some kind of traveling warrior. What was that you said earlier on stage, \u2018The writer who fights.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cElrin Daun of Gladland. The Fighting Writer!\u201d A wave of adrenaline rushed into me. Only for him to punch me in the mouth. I dropped to a knee, then rolled around to avoid the follow ups again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hopped up and circled away before receiving a kick to the gut. He didn\u2019t look like he had the martial arts understanding to throw a proper kick, but that doesn\u2019t really matter. It really hurt. I keeled over, took an uppercut to the face and fell forward. My balance was only lost for an instant and I managed to scramble away from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My enemy was clearly out of breath. It was obvious both by the fact that he didn\u2019t continue to charge forward, and by his breathing. \u201cZeusdamnit,\u201d Roan shouted. \u201cMaybe you just fucking suck.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWasn\u2019t it\u2026\u201d The angry husband panted between words, \u201cObvious.\u201d He pointed outside in the wrong direction of the stage, \u201cDidn\u2019t you hear him outside? He said it himself. Everything good was somebody else’s.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t wrong. Except most of it was improvised but that wasn\u2019t important.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What is important, is that as hard as he was breathing, he was not done.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And neither\u2026 the fuck\u2026 was I.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I spit some blood out of my mouth. \u201cYou know,\u201d I wiped my lips, \u201cI\u2019m not really sure I disagree.\u201d I began standing on my feet, \u201cI may not be that good at fighting, and I might be pretty bad at writing,\u201d I slammed my left fist into my right hand. \u201cBut I\u2019m about to scribe an ass whooping.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My ally\u2019s confidence in me surged back into him, \u201cWrite that dick kick motherfucker.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A couple others in the crowd were actually cheering as well. Or at least that\u2019s what I choose to remember. I stepped forward, and he did too. He threw a punch, I dodged and landed mine. Without even the slightest hesitation I hit him with two more. He wobbled backwards, and my moment had arrived.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I cocked a punch and threw a side kick. He may not know how to use the proper technique, but I on the other hand have formal training in the martial arts. My kick hurt him much worse than his hurt me earlier. When he keeled over I followed up with a quick left hook.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He punched me back, but I ate the shot and threw my own. Then we punched each other again and again. The brawl intensified, and before I knew it I was in a coin toss fight<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Immediately realizing that was stupid I finally stepped back. His aggression was relentless, and this time he continued. But he was tired, sloppy, where I was precise.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My hand connected clean on his chin as he came charging in with no thought of defense. Before he hit the ground I followed up with another shot but completely missed. Then I didn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And he was out.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When it was over, my own exhaustion had finally overwhelmed me. I collapsed to my knees next to him, leaning over the first victim I had ever conquered alone outside the context of a sparring session.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan had rushed over picking me up to my feet. \u201cI fucking knew it. Scribe an ass whooping.\u201d He spun around and shouted to the bartender, \u201cWe\u2019re gonna need more drinks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGet the hell out of my bar!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I figured.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter : Next Chapter   Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin Everywhere Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin Everywhere Rocking Everywhere Rocking Everywhere I found you Miss New Booty   The dance floor produced movements unlike any they\u2019d seen from themselves. Their booties undoubtedly were rocking everywhere from the very beginning to the climatic end of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=196"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":259,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196\/revisions\/259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}