{"id":207,"date":"2024-10-31T20:29:57","date_gmt":"2024-10-31T20:29:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=207"},"modified":"2024-11-18T22:47:47","modified_gmt":"2024-11-18T22:47:47","slug":"elrin-daun-and-the-grumbsy-gang-chapter-6-just-rogue-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=207","title":{"rendered":"Elrin Daun and the Grumbsy Gang – Chapter 6: Just Rogue Things"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Since you been gone<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I can breathe for the first time<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m so moving on<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Yeah yeah<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My music radiated through the Titan\u2019s Trap. Nearly everyone in the establishment had their eyes on me, and the crowd was the largest I\u2019d ever seen in Grumbsy. Several boats had just arrived today to drop off more folk ready to leave the West behind them.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not to mention some of the local tribes had begun to warm up to us. Mostly because of my music. At least that\u2019s what I tell myself.<\/span> A bard is supposed to believe in oneself right?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was a wealthy bunch as well. My hat was filled with twice as much copper as usual. Success like that was amplified by a more intoxicated crowd. I may have some of my allies to thank for that. Particularly Roan.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a long performance I noticed most of the audience had shuffled out. Perhaps because it was late, or perhaps because the sailor had been ranting obscenities left and right. I couldn\u2019t be too mad at him, if we went any longer I could have damn near bankrupted the crowd the way I was playing.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I sat down to have a drink of my own and relax. Not long after, a group of hill dwarves stumbled through the front door of the Titan\u2019s Trap. At least I assumed based on their small stature and beards. Most dwarves I\u2019d encountered in my life were mountain dwarves who typically stood taller than myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey short shits,\u201d Roan burped as he walked over making himself right at home at the stool nearest them, \u201cWhat brings you folks to these parts?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d The oldest replied, \u201cWe are here on business. Quite a bit of business truth be told. Not that us dwarves mind a little work.\u201d He didn\u2019t seem too offended by Roan, but he certainly wasn\u2019t excited to talk to someone so crude.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFucking dwarves,\u201d Roan laughed causing the visiting businessman to grow even more irritated.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell what the hell are you doing here, skin and bones?\u201d The Dwarf quipped back.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDrinkin,\u201d Roan chugged his foaming beverage as if he wasn\u2019t irritating anybody. \u201cYou guys should try the troll it gets you really fucked up.\u201d The disgusting beverage was a recipe of Trant\u2019s that he was particularly proud of. We all hated it. We never drank anything else.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo I think we\u2019re good,\u201d The dwarf replied, noting the level of intoxication of the sailor. He turned his attention to the half-orc that sat nearby, \u201cWhat are you looking at fuck face?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe fuck did I do?\u201d Vergusson examined the room making sure he was the one being talked to. Which he clearly was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After he couldn’t think of an answer himself, Roan finally placed a hand on his shoulder, \u201cRacism.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah,\u201d Vergusson looked down at his own body and remembered he\u2019s half orc. Then he went back to drinking his own troll. I was fully prepared for a violent reaction, but he couldn\u2019t have cared less. He was more interested in talking to Glish who had an over sized mug of troll in his own hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After taking a sip of my jug I heard Roan drunkenly say his own name like he was a big deal. Gimble, their leader, introduced himself, then Doc, Thob, Knob, and Tyler.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once he made their acquaintance, Roan\u2019s attitude changed very little, \u201cSo are you little bearded bastard’s gonna be in town for a while or are ya just passing through?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t really know.\u201d Gimble pointed to the dwarves behind him. \u201cWe got some great smiths lookin for work. So we may end up sticking around and setting up some blacksmith stations.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh we got a smithy aye?\u201d Glish was facing the opposite direction paying no mind to the dwarves when he announced himself. He hopped off his stool onto the bar counter, walking over to them with very apparent jealousy. \u201cYou boys looking to get some work done while you\u2019re here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes we have some materials we\u2019d love to utilize.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Crossing his arms with arrogance, and condescension the Hafflin announced, \u201cWell my brother and I run the only smith station in town.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes we met with your brother Liam earlier today,\u201d Gimble explained enthusiastically. \u201cWe\u2019re actually renting out your space for the next few days for our own projects.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a brief pause. \u201cWell, fun fact about me bud, no one tells me anything.\u201d It was clear Glish was a bit upset about how much respect his brother has for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Glish whined to Doc, Roan held his arm out showing off his muscles. \u201cMe against any of your boys. Any one of them. I got this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCare to make it interesting?\u201d their leader inquired.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlways shorty,\u201d the seaman replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf my guy wins you leave us alone for the rest of the evening.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d and without thinking about his terms Roan blurted out, \u201cIf I win you guys have to buy a round of troll each and we drink all night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gimble shook his hand with a smile. Then quickly patted Doc on the shoulder. The young hill dwarf was more than eager to compete against the seaman. His short arms were thicker, and appeared far stronger, but my fellow human was far from deterred.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he sat at the table, the pair locked eyes, then hands. Without anybody asking me I took on the responsibility of judge and referee. I placed my own hands on top of theirs and asked. \u201cContestants, are you ready?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They both nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTOO THE DEATH!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While neither actually attacked with a lethal blow, both fought like their lives depended on it. It was a valiant effort from two incredible men. The battle lasted for quite some time, until a familiar voice out of nowhere shouted, \u201cOVER THE TOP.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without even thinking Roan re-positioned his hand over his opponents, and quickly pushed his fist to the table, finally defeating the tiny dwarf. As honorable travelers, they kept to their word and drank all night. Though the coin didn\u2019t seem to be much of a problem as they were more than happy to buy the rest of us drinks as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Having already been over-served before the arm-wrestling contest even started, Roan was barely able to stand up by the time they paid him their dues. I carried him to his room as no one else wanted to. He kicked and punched the whole way, insisting that he\u2019s the one who needs to put me to bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I awoke early the next morning, and headed outside to meet Syrielle for a round of morning training. After a couple hours of light sparring she had me run laps around Grumbsy for about an hour.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Much of what I had drank from the night before came back out onto the dirt. Yet, I did not turn down. She insisted my cardio needed to improve, and this was the best way. Especially if we\u2019ll be traveling all over the place.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After I finished the laps, she said I was done for the day and should rest my body. Both of us headed back to the tavern for a meal. When we got there, Roan arrived, appearing to have woken up just moments ago. \u201cWhere are my dwarf friends?\u201d he asked before greeting me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t exactly call them friends,\u201d I told him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause their terms of the bet were that you would leave them alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah but I won the bet. So that means we\u2019re friends.\u201d When a man\u2019s right he\u2019s right.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026 do you need them for something?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He nodded, \u201cWe\u2019ve been looking for them because they said they have a job.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho is <\/span>we?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBro\u2026\u201d Yarrick complained.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy question was valid Yarrick, who the fuck are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After he didn\u2019t answer, Roan decided to head to the smith station to find the dwarves. It was silly of him not to have already checked there before asking people where they are. Syrielle and I followed of course for it appeared and adventure was soon to be found.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sure enough, Doc was sitting outside Liam\u2019s Shop smoking a pipe. The sailor was incredibly happy to see the man he was looking for. \u201cMorning fucker!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The dwarf didn\u2019t appear as upset to see the sailor as I thought he\u2019d be. He nodded softly, \u201cRoan.\u201d After greeting his <\/span>friend<\/span><\/i> he addressed me, \u201cI never got your name?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cElrin Daun of Gladland. The Fighting Writer. And this here is the samurai Syrielle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou said Elrin?\u201d He nodded as he shook my hand. \u201cNice to meet you Elrin.\u201d Then he extended his hand to Syrielle. \u201cIt\u2019s nice to meet you too. I haven\u2019t seen a samurai around these parts in ages.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cEnough flirting,\u201d Roan demanded, \u201cYou said you needed a hand with something?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe need lots of hands,\u201d Gimble exited the shop with a smile. \u201cAnd we certainly have a job shady hands like yours might be good with. Not that we usually like workin with folk like yourself, but when the ugly come into our realm and take our things, it may be wise to turn to their own.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAw shucks,\u201d Roan could not have seemed more honored by the comment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust days ago,\u201d Gimble sat down in a chair near the one Doc sat in. \u201cWe received word from a friend of ours a bit to the North of here. A few items we\u2019d given them had been stolen. With our busy schedules we have a hard time replacing the gifts at a discounted price and, more importantly, we don\u2019t like our weapons being wielded by the wicked. We choose our clientele carefully.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I got chills.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo you think people who steal things are wicked?\u201d Roan sounded offended.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOur clients suspect it was the elf Onvy,\u201d Gimble continued, \u201cThough it could have been his twin brother Yvno. A couple of tricksters who currently operate out of Portertown. A pretty large town to the South along the coast. At least that\u2019s what our investigations have told us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was stolen?\u201d I always ask the obvious questions.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA sword of a dragon\u2019s tooth,\u201d Gimble couldn’t have been more proud to talk about his creation. \u201cAnd enchanted armor made of Osirion Steel.\u201d His eyes drifted around as if we weren\u2019t even there.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doc felt the need to chime in, \u201cThe family also lost an amulet. An item of absurd sentimental value. They are willing to pay quite the hefty price to get it back. It\u2019s not a piece we gave them, but friends in need are friends in need.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“And an adventure is an adventure.” Porter-town was an 8 day journey on foot. Thankfully we were able to snag some horses and cut that time down to five days. It was an uneventful trip. Roan and I sang a variety of songs back and forth. He may never say anything nice about me, but the man seemed to enjoy my company. And it was hard for me not to appreciate him as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Syrielle spent most of the time quietly smiling, but every once in a while I could hear her singing along with me. She chatted with all three of us a lot, but I never actually saw her talk to Yarrick with my own eyes. She just told me about her conversations with him later. It sounds like he talks a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were 2 small towns with inns we were able to find. Without the devilman to scare people we didn\u2019t have much of an issue sleeping through the night. The other 3 nights we had to rest outside per usual and take turns watching.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the end of 5 days, we came upon a rather large town near a fairly significant lake. The sign read, \u201cWelcome to Porterton.\u201d It was nearly twice the size of Grumbsy, with a marketplace to fit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I had been to larger cities back in Eurome, but around here this was nearly a metropolis. Eager to study the town I stepped forward, only for Roan to grab my arm. \u201cHold up. We should wait first. Yarrick has a friend in town.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m assuming\u2026\u201d I searched all around us and the little man was nowhere to be found. \u201cHe\u2019ll be back in a few minutes?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan shrugged, \u201cI don\u2019t know his friend. Hopefully he won\u2019t take long to find.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo we\u2019re just supposed to wait here?\u201d I, admittedly, whined.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMissions aren\u2019t pretty princess,\u201d Roan explained. With obnoxiously sassy eyes, Syrielle slid behind him with her arms crossed nodding her head in agreement as he continued to berate me. \u201cWe gotta be careful around here. This town\u2019s big and unregulated.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Believing I understood him I said in an affirming tone, \u201cSo it has poor infrastructure.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo dumbass,\u201d He bitched. \u201cIt\u2019s crime infested. Or just like\u2026 Probably run by a douchebag or something I don\u2019t know. Yarrick\u2019s got a buddy, but I\u2019ve never been here. So we\u2019re gonna wait, and that guy\u2019s gonna tell us more about this place, then we\u2019ll figure out the best way to go in as a team. For all we know his friend knows exactly where the stolen goods are and our cleanest option is to just take it without anyone seeing our faces.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Syrielle wagged her finger at me as if she wasn\u2019t as clueless as I.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We sat patiently for a bit, in a comfy spot just outside of town. I had barely the time to think of a way to describe what sitting felt like before someone came scurrying through the bushes. \u201cHello,\u201d A man confidently stepped into our view. His hair appeared slimy and unkempt, while his face was covered in dirt. \u201cHowdy folks. My name is Greasy Carl. Yarrick says you’re looking for some stolen stuff.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan was fast to take charge, \u201cMy friends Gimble and Doc said they were taken around Sutterton up North. They think the thieves were a couple of elves named Onvy and Yvno who hang around Portertown.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Greasy man laughed, \u201cYeah well lucky for you, I\u2019ve been keeping my eye on some stuff around here for a while. I can tell you for free that those boys hang around here from what I\u2019ve seen. And for the right price\u2026 I\u2019ll let you know the rest of what I know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost happy to be told that Roan crossed his arms, \u201cAlright name it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yarrick raised a hand, \u201cI owe him a favor. Now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTaking our best ninja are we?\u201d Roan shook his head. \u201cAlright you slimy little shit you got yourself a Zeusdamn deal. Myself, tweedledick, and the dickless wonder will snag all the goods.\u201d From the way he pointed at myself and Syrielle, I was not the one he called tweedledick.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mr. Carl very greasily explained what intel he had. The special armor was likely still in the Smith\u2019s shop. His operation worked closely with Tony Machiolla of the Machiolla Crime Syndicate. A dangerous organization that has roots all over Eurome. They had some connections in Gladland, but honestly I didn\u2019t really have any interaction with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tony was only one man, but he wouldn\u2019t have come over here without a horde of mercenaries and sellswords working loyal <\/span>to the coin he provides. One of those warriors for hire purchased an extremely high quality sword that came into town just a few days ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The jewelry could in theory be anywhere. But the highest quality items were very likely kept by Tony\u2019s wife, Dellah Machiolla. Their home could have potentially the highest security on the continent, if you believed the word of the man called Greasy. He insisted we wouldn\u2019t be able to break into it in our wildest dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Completely unaffected by the claims, Roan declared, \u201cHave you even met my buddy Yarrick?\u201d His eyebrows raised with a prissy attitude.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carl was confident nobody could get the job done. Problem was he wouldn\u2019t really go into details. About anything. Despite bragging several times about his deep complex understanding of the criminal underworld.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once we were done asking him questions Roan turned to Syrielle and asked, \u201cSo. Am I right in assuming you\u2019re a complete fucking weirdo about your sword right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLike I won\u2019t walk around without it?<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYup.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Snapping his fingers the sailor announced, \u201cOkay so I\u2019m gonna go ahead and say that maybe your best option is to go talk to the sell-swords. And figure out what you can on your own. Honestly, I\u2019m curious what\u2019ll happen if I don\u2019t tell you more.\u201d Pointing between me and himself, Roan added, \u201cElrin and I will go check out the black smith.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho put you in charge?\u201d Syrielle asked but didn\u2019t actually sound like she had a problem because she probably wanted to do what he suggested anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou ever pull off a heist?\u201d Roan quipped. \u201cI\u2019d love to hear your plan.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHeist?\u201d I wasn\u2019t that surprised but still didn\u2019t like the word.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d The sailor nodded.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought we were closer to like\u2026 Law enforcement or something?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan had absolutely no idea what to say. Yarrick, on the other hand, actually did have something to say for once, \u201cWe\u2019re secret agents.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d The sailor nodded emphatically. \u201cIt\u2019s pirate shit. But we\u2019re the good guys.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take much convincing. The items we were searching for were taken by criminals. I was quite nervous about doing any of this alone, so the fact that I was partnering up with an experienced man was comforting.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The fact that it was Roan was a lot less comforting.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before I knew it the small one was gone and the Greasy man slithered after him. My samurai friend bid us adieu and headed down the road to where the sell swords in town usually hung out.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With haste, myself and the man who may have admitted to being a pirate at one point in his life made our way to The Smith\u2019s Workplace. It was a populated neighborhood and a rather lively evening. Men of all kinds walked about. Street performers, much like myself, played all over town as small throngs watched.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The market place was massive, three times the size of Grumbsy\u2019s. And apparently it wasn\u2019t the only one in town. I hadn\u2019t known that any city in Kayos had grown so quickly. It made me wonder if even further south, closer to Hellas, there might be something even more magnificent.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As we closed in on the black smith\u2019s shop Roan told me to do a quick walk about as he inspected the place. I gladly continued to look upon the culture all around me. A dubblin played a massive guitar like a banjo while singing a song one could only describe as artsy.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Somebody that I used to know<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But you didn\u2019t have to cut me off<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Make out like it never happened<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And that we were nothing<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I laughed. I cried. But in all honesty I did neither. Though it was a pretty good song.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I nodded to myself tapping my feet to the beat, I noticed a pretty girl staring at me. When I looked back she turned away with a blush. Within a moment I was next to her. \u201cHi, I\u2019m Elrin. You from around here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her nerves seemed to fade as soon as I gave her attention, \u201cYes I am. You must be new here? I feel like I would have seen you before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh if I lived here I promise I would have talked to you long ago or at the very least I would have spazzed out thinking about it\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was a coin flip comment, there is no such thing as a woman who doesn\u2019t react to a joke like this and there\u2019s really only two ways it could go. And one of the most rewarding feelings in the world is the reaction I received; a laugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She blushed again, and looked at her feet. In a moment, she found the courage to make eye contact again. Of course Roan was right there to grab my arm and spoil the fun. \u201cYou ready?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I told her I\u2019d be right back. But I would not be right back.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My crude-unkind-never-to-be-forgiven-dickbag-of-a-worthless-ally dragged me towards The Smith’s Workplace and quickly declared, \u201cSo\u2026 I\u2019m assuming you are at the very least good at distractions?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost offended, I replied, \u201cI can be sneaky.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut you\u2019re better at making a scene,\u201d Roan chirped. \u201cI mean you\u2019re whiny, you\u2019re good at singing, you can complain about being a virgin.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Having heard one compliment I couldn\u2019t care about the other two things he said. \u201cWho do I need to distract?\u201d Also I never said I was a virgin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Emperor of Eurome,” he announced, shaking his head. \u201cThe fucking blacksmith you dipshit. Who\u2019d you think? There\u2019s a few of them there. I\u2019d say our best option is to get me in the armor before I get into a fight. If we just go in and fight them someone might scream and the guards will be on us. Once I\u2019m in the metal, I can get it right out of here\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay?\u201d I said hoping he\u2019d say more. When he didn\u2019t I continued to question, \u201cWhy do you get to wear the armor? You\u2019re probably pretty good at distractions too?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf you promise me you\u2019re a really good ninja I\u2019d happily be the distraction.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Stumbling through the front door I shouted, \u201cExcuse me. I had sex with this wife\u2019s husband\u2019s wife and now he has this like weird goblin rock and I like it when it\u2019s green. Can I have some armor?\u201d There were two average sized orcs, making them larger than me, walking towards me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One confused hill dwarf stood behind the station holding materials in his hand. There was also an older human with massive muscles that sat near an anvil with a smith\u2019s hammer in his hand. Several full plate armors were behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>You here for trouble?\u201d One of the orcs announced walking over to me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou want a coin,\u201d I spilled some copper, silver and gold coins on the ground in front of me, mostly copper. Then I fell over to start picking them up. Struggling to grab each one. Taking all the time I could so Roan could to get into position before I really started to make a ruckus to cover for him. How he was going to sneak into the armor I hadn\u2019t the faintest idea. And I never learned how.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the orc grabbed my arm, the human announced, \u201cLet him go. I\u2019m sure we have a thing or two we could sell him.\u201d He pointed at the ground before I picked up the last of my gold, \u201cWith money like that, a man like you could use a magic weapon. You ever seen one of those before?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I lied and shook my head no.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He walked over to a nearby wall and pulled a sword off a rack. Walking over to me, I could see the piece of crap was rusted. \u201cThey never look normal.\u00a0 These magic weapons. They always have some odd\u2026 deformity. At least on the outside. The worse they look, the more powerful they are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There wasn\u2019t a whole lot I knew about magic, but I knew what he just said wasn\u2019t a thing. But he certainly thought I was drunk enough to believe him. And now I had to figure out how to believe him without losing all my money.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt can slay a magic beast,\u201d The blacksmith announced. \u201cThe worst of demons. Maybe even gods. A priceless sword. But I\u2019m not in the business of priceless. I\u2019m in the business of selling.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pointing the rusty blade towards me he announced. \u201cSo\u2026 If you need to protect yourself, and you’re as wealthy as you have shown. I\u2019d say you need look no further than here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the coolest thing I\u2019ve ever seen,\u201d I jumped up to my feet making sure to lose my balance just a little. \u201cCan I hold it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man laughed, \u201cNormally yes. But we have a rule against letting those who\u2019ve partaken in alcohol to hold sharp objects around here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not drunk,\u201d If there was one acting talent I had, it was looking drunk when I wanted to. \u201cYou\u2019ve had all the beer. I washed the water.\u201d I forced a burp, a cool little trick I learned a few years ago. \u201cAnd so, with power. I\u2019ll take the sword. And we\u2019ll fight them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All eyes were on me, including my friend in the back giving me a thumbs up as he stepped behind one of the full plates that nobody else was looking at. The two orcs stopped coming forward but still had their eyes trained on me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSir,\u201d The old man smiled. \u201cI understand your hesitation to buy such a magnificent item without even being able to hold it. Just for you\u2026 I\u2019ll cut the price in half, and you\u2019ll go walking out here with the greatest weapon in all the land.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the top of my lungs I shouted, \u201cI\u2019LL PAY FULL PRICE BECAUSE YOU\u2019RE DRUNK!\u201d My lungs absorbed a bunch of air as I added on, \u201cAND WITHOUT THAT SWORD AND THE GOLD I\u2019LL BE ABLE TO THROW IT AT THE BAD GUYS.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eventually I realized I wasn\u2019t being clever and grew disappointed in myself. I reached for a nearby tool and fell into the table toppling everything over with a loud crash. \u201cI SAID I\u2019M NOT DRUNK!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The orcs gripped me by my arms. I wrestled about while they yelled random profanities. Their boss complained and whined about my behavior. He demanded they take the money off of me for causing such a mess in their shop and potentially affecting the other customers, despite the shop being empty.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the middle of yelling he heard a loud clunking noise from behind him. Roan had finally shoved himself into the full plate armor, but had also somehow stumbled into the stacks of armor near him as well knocking several of them over.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGET HIM!\u201d The boss shouted as his men let me go. With rageful eyes the old human looked at me and screamed, \u201cYOU\u2019RE WITH HIM.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Holding the rusty sword he charged me. I grabbed a nearby tool and deflected his first slash, then immediately grabbed his sword hand. We wrestled for a moment before I slammed his wrist into my knee, disarming him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I elbowed him in the face and he punched me in mine. Then he punched me again. And I think he realized it was working because he threw a couple more punches and suddenly I was on the ground.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t even see him grab the hammer that he held over my head. I also did not see whatever the object was that hit him in the back of his and knocked him out. Roan was exchanging punches with one of the orcs while the other rolled around on the ground holding his leg in severe pain. The dwarf was also out cold, barely twitching on the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By the time I\u2019d gotten to my feet he\u2019d successfully pummeled his final opponent unconscious. \u201cThis thing\u2019s awesome,\u201d He said, \u201cSo light. And I could barely feel his punches.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a commotion outside. Likely from people hearing the tussle coming from inside. \u201cYeah but can you run in that thing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slipping the metal footwear off, I saw Roan\u2019s bare feet for the first time. There were tattoos of wings leading from both heals to his pinkie toe. His big right toe appeared moldy and black. \u201cRunning ain\u2019t the problem when Hermes guides you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He slipped a small knife off a nearby counter, and then cut both of the wings on his feet. A golden light burst from his feet nearly blinding me, \u201cYou got an exit plan?\u201d He asked me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cA what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d come up with one if I were you,\u201d And just like that he took off in a blur. I was utterly stunned by the insane speed he suddenly displayed. I ran to the door, and just barely saw him blasting his way out of town. Faster than any man or beast I\u2019d ever seen.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A couple of guards who appeared on alert simply stood still and stared at the armored blur flash by. I shuffled away from the door and tried to get as far from the crowd as I could.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cGet that scoundrel now!\u201d The owner of The Smith\u2019s Workplace was standing in the doorway pointing at me holding his head. The orc that was knocked out had woken up and ran after me. The guards finally reacted and began chasing me as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The crowd got out of the way for the most part. People didn\u2019t like the idea of a man sprinting at full speed and crashing into them. I was a little bit quicker than the men chasing me, but I didn\u2019t know my way around town.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I quickly turned in an alleyway and found myself in a dead end. There was a window with a small group of boxes just below it. I climbed as fast as I could, but they spotted me going through. Thankfully It was easy to lock from the other side so they couldn\u2019t chase straight after me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The drop wasn\u2019t too significant. Inspecting my surroundings, I noticed stands of food in crates all around. A young girl holding a bask<\/span>et of fruit nearby saw me hop through the window. She had a worried face, but thankfully she asked, \u201cDo you work here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMaintenance,\u201d I smiled and walked away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I circled through the store, noticing more items than just food but didn\u2019t care enough to pay attention then to even remember now. When I saw the front door, the dwarf was standing there with three town guardsmen next to him. They were speaking to an employee of the store and I had a pretty good guess what the topic was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not wanting to waste time, I picked up a piece of fruit, and threw it across the room crashing directly into a vase on the other side. Nobody saw the vase, but they heard the crash. It may not have been the vase I was aiming for, or even close, but a win is a win.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As they all sprinted for it, I dashed for a different set of boxes under another window, much like the one outside. Except this one had food in it that I stepped all over to just barely reach the window. They shouted as soon as my feet cleared the threshold.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I managed to climb through pretty quickly and dash away having given myself plenty more time than I had before. The town bells went off and I never felt so bad. One of the proudest moments of my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without much difficulty I made it to the edge of town. Several guards had gathered by the time I got there. Way more than before. They clearly had an on-call infantry and the boys weren\u2019t too drunk for work tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I could only hope Roan managed to escape with the goods before the bells went off. Though I should also hope that I could make it outside because I could care less about that armor getting back where it belongs if I\u2019m dead. I feel like there are worthier causes to die for.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Having grown tired from all the running I wasn\u2019t sure what the best move was but I knew I had to act quick. Just because they lost me doesn\u2019t mean they won\u2019t find me again. I worked my way around some of the houses. Noticing the guards circling around the outside perimeter.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were some bushes near some of the houses I was able to hide nearby. But, apparently I didn\u2019t do a good job because a guard spotted me and pointed me out to another guard.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I circled back around the houses as the pointer gave chase and the other stayed on the perimeter. I dashed right around the next house and hopped straight over a fence. The guard on the outside ran past the fence expecting to catch me on the next opening. I hit the dirt hard and sprinted straight into the bushes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For a second I thought they must be getting tired too until I realized these weren\u2019t even the same guards. He was right on my tail, but I powered straight through the agony. There was only one place I knew to go. Only one place I could run to.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The barracks wasn\u2019t far out of town. Before I could even reach it, I saw Syrielle walking down the road. Katana in its hilt on her waist, while the sword we were here to recover was held in her right hand resting on her shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At first she smiled, then she saw my turmoil I was in and she smiled harder. She dashed straight for me and I could feel the guard on my ass. My legs were slowing, and his were fresh.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When she was barely 20 feet away from me she yelled, \u201cDuck.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I followed her instructions and she leapt through the air. Her leg extended outwards and her feet collided with his face before he could bring his sword up. The next guard came in right behind him swinging. She stepped back just fine and slammed the hilt of the dwarven-made-dragon-tooth-sword into his head. The strike didn\u2019t knock him unconscious, but then she kicked him in the head. Then he was unconscious.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After double checking her work she walked over to me. \u201cLooks like you\u2019ve had fun.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe time of my life,\u201d If she thought I spoke with sarcasm, then she thought wrong. \u201cWhat have you been up to?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDueling,\u201d She held out both her own sword and the one she acquired. \u201cThe guy who had the sword said he wouldn\u2019t fight a woman but one of his friends did so I fought that guy. Then his brother wanted revenge so I fought him. Then I beat up three more of their friends before the guy I wanted to fight finally fought me and I now have the sword.\u201d Looking me up and down she asked, \u201cWhat exactly have you been doing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust rogue things.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We decided it was best to sneak into the bushes from there. The guards had scattered outside the city and we had a debate whether or not they were good guys or bad guys. We decided it was best to just avoid them and stop hurting people so that we can convince ourselves we were “the pretty good guys” at the very least.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Needing to finish the mission we worked our way to Machiolla\u2019s home. Having heard nobody could possibly break in, neither of us had any intention of turning down. Problem was we certainly weren\u2019t experts in stealth and Syrielle wasn\u2019t dumb enough to think she could take what might be a whole army by herself.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not that she didn\u2019t want to try, but she admitted it was stupid and she didn\u2019t need to. \u201cThat\u2019s how I\u2019m gonna die though. Just saying. Whole fucking army.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We stayed very quiet as we cased the scene. It was fun acting like we had a clue what we were doing. There weren\u2019t any guards around. Really any at all. It seemed to be a pretty open home as far as we could see.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just large and magnificent. With an elegant garden out front and a variety of statues. Nearly every Olympian was on display, as well as gods and creatures I\u2019d never seen before. Or at least couldn\u2019t recognize straight away. The home itself was a mansion with well over a dozen rooms at least. Though we couldn\u2019t tell much from the outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We thought about just trying to go in, but then noticed the town had formed mobs with pitchforks. We realized that perhaps the best thing to do is bail on the mission from here. From their perspective they are protecting their hometown from intruders. And there\u2019s more of them than us. They don\u2019t need to be the army Syrielle was talking about. And she doesn’t need to kill half of them so that friends of friends can get their sentimental jewelry back. It’s not turning down, it’s a moral decision.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So we stepped back into the bushes to sneak away. The moment we did the samurai spoke in a fearful tone I\u2019d never heard from her before. \u201cElrin\u2026\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I spun around to find an male elf, slightly taller than the samurai, holding his hand to her head. Both their eyes glowed green as her muscles shook and tightened. The elf smirked at me \u201cYou can surrender. But I\u2019m not sure how much that\u2019s going to help you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you?\u201d <\/span>What the fuck else was I going to say?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOnvy,\u201d He replied. \u201cI\u2019m the guardian of this establishment. I was curious to see if the two of you would ever make your move, but either way we can\u2019t have people casing the place and not being punished.\u201d He pointed at the incoming mob, \u201cAnd from my understanding, you\u2019ve been rather naughty around town as it is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Syrielle had dropped to her knees breathing very heavily. Onvy snidely looked down at her, \u201cI\u2019m sure my boss would like to have a word with you. I\u2019ll let him decide the permanent damage.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His arrogant smile pierced my very soul, and then in an instant his pride turned to pain. The elf squealed like a pig being slaughtered and I hadn\u2019t any idea what happened until I saw the culprit step from behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYarrick!\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My small ally held a dagger in Onvy\u2019s side. He stepped around to the front of the trickster so he’d face to face with his victim \u201cThe paralysis should fade soon. I\u2019ve left you alive so your brother won’t come for me. If you do seek vengeance, I\u2019d be happy to meet him one day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walking over to Syrielle he helped her to her feet. She was sweating and panting, but after taking a few breaths the color returned to her face.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our little ally waved us to follow him down the road, but he was leading us away from the house where the jewelry was. \u201cWait Yarrick? If that guy was the security guard and you just took him out can\u2019t you go back and get the amulet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He pulled the amulet out of his cloak, shook it in his hand, and then put it back.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Syrielle shouted for all the town to hear, \u201cYarrick who the fuck are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter : Next Chapter   Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time I\u2019m so moving on Yeah yeah   My music radiated through the Titan\u2019s Trap. Nearly everyone in the establishment had their eyes on me, and the crowd was the largest I\u2019d ever seen in Grumbsy. Several boats had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=207"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":262,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207\/revisions\/262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}