{"id":264,"date":"2024-11-19T23:06:32","date_gmt":"2024-11-19T23:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=264"},"modified":"2024-11-20T05:17:26","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T05:17:26","slug":"elrin-daun-and-the-grumbsy-gang-chapter-13-the-road-to-heathers-keep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=264","title":{"rendered":"Elrin Daun and the Grumbsy Gang – Chapter 13: The Road to Heather’s Keep"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cA round of troll on me,\u201d I announced, sauntering into the titan\u2019s trap expecting a chorus of cheers. Only a few people raised their glasses in gratitude, but for the most part nobody cared I was there.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course, there was a bit of a kerfuffle going on. When I approached the small crowd of bickering men I heard Roan shouting, \u201cYou said you knew how to open it. So open it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Trant grumpily responded. \u201cDo I look like I don\u2019t have my hands full?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan unwaveringly explained, \u201cWell that was a weird time to give me that information.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish was standing on a stool next to him, \u201cI\u2019m with Roan. I wanna know\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The barkeep grew irritated, \u201cWhat do you wanna know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s in the box?\u201d Glish hopped down to his feet before dropping to his knees and squealing as if asking a god above him for the answer. \u201cWHAT\u2019S IN THE BOX!?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust give me a minute,\u201d Trant took more than one minute to continue serving people before he finally went back behind the bar and carried out the large treasure chest we found in the crypt.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He plopped it down on the floor near them. \u201cSo\u2026\u201d He grabbed the lock, \u201cThis thing here is about as powerful as anything I\u2019d ever seen. But everything else is just tough metal.\u201d Then he reached into his pants and pulled out a small knife with a glowing green blade.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan muttered like he had a boner. \u201cOoh I want that thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Trant quickly plugged the knife into the side of the chest, and then cut through the tough metal like butter. \u201cJust like I thought it would.\u201d Then he sliced all the way around the top opening the treasure we hadn\u2019t been able to open for literally like three days.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Inside were four different pieces of jewelry and seven books. Of course I scooped the reading material and rifled through them. A few interesting pieces of history, and two books of black magic. My compatriots checked out the fancier items, which probably would cost more money.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We reveled in our success. Along with the two cursed weapons which nobody could hold but probably cost a lot, and the big hunk of magic metal, the six of us who went on that mission had quite a lot show. Though we didn\u2019t know yet what to do with everything, we knew our pockets just got a whole lot fuller. And considering how much we\u2019d been making lately anyways, my collection was getting a bit too big for my comfort just sitting at the inn. Especially with so much more on the way once these goods are sold.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHey Trant,\u201d I whispered to the man in charge of everything. \u201cYou got like a bank going on? Or something to do with my money when I start really rolling in the dough?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI mean Liam and the boys make and sell safes,\u201d He shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m sure doing all that work with Glish you\u2019ll get a fair price. And then I can keep it behind the bar for no fee because you’re useful around here. But then thieves are just going for the same thing. I don\u2019t know if we have a big enough economy for a bank yet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His excuse didn\u2019t work on me. \u201cYou don\u2019t know anyone that can run a bank can you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you?\u201d He pointed at the patrons in the bar. Several of whom were picking their noses, \u201cDamn near everyone here couldn\u2019t cut it out there in civilization. What in hades are you doing here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cThriving.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd do you think you could be doing better financially,\u201d The salesman was quick to get to his next point. Before I could speak again he wagged his finger in my face. \u201cInvest. People have been giving you their gold left and right. Toss some of that crap my way, let me put it in something, and you\u2019ll have a share of the profits when it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scratching my head I asked, \u201cI feel like that\u2019s very bank-like behavior.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell yeah but if I don\u2019t say I\u2019m a bank then I\u2019m not a bank,\u201d He said without confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cRight?\u201d I just chugged my drink. \u201cThat\u2019s the first rule of being a bank.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He laughed off my joke, always showing a decent sense of humor, and then went back to his pushy salesman nature. \u201cSo\u2026 What about it? Would you like to buy some homes? Live in one and rent the others out to travelers. Sooner or later, this port is going to be overflowing with people needing places to stay\u2026 Maybe you could purchase a theater. That could\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cA LIBRARY!\u201d I slammed my drink to the table counter. \u201cIf my stories are to be read as intended I need people who can read. This town needs a library. This continent needs a library. It\u2019s time to move Grumbsy into the future my friend.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cOkay but like\u2026\u201d Trant scratched his head. \u201cNobody reads so we have like 7 books in the whole town. You just need a bookshelf, not a building.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have you know, I have been writing books of poetry to contribute to this library,\u201d I shouted for all to hear. \u201cNot to mention the tales of my adventures. Although to be fair neither is really in full book form, I mean I got a lot going on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The owner of the Titan\u2019s Trap, and the patriarch of the whole town, sat and pondered for a moment. Snapping his fingers he announced, \u201cHow about a school?\u201d He seemed intrigued. \u201cI mean we can have a small building, with a few different rooms. One of those rooms, a library. Which for now just has a bookshelf. <\/span>I don\u2019t know how much demand\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFor now,\u201d I waved my hand thinking of an answer for him, \u201cWe can use the building as another inn for people to stay at. You can offer it to fancy folk who like reading. And so\u2026 Library.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d He thought for a moment, but not for a long moment. \u201cLet\u2019s talk numbers.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We agreed pretty quickly. And I celebrated with a lot more troll than I needed to.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I woke up the next day I was riding in a wagon.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are we?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan smiled at me, \u201cWe’re on the road to Heather\u2019s Keep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT?\u201d I was not in any way prepared to travel halfway across the continent. And the oxen dragging the wagon I was on weren\u2019t moving any faster than we walked. From what everyone told me, I was the one who insisted we leave first thing in the morning and then passed out in the wagon before we left.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Apparently the weapons we found in the crypt had some sort of curse upon them. The dwarves were known collectors of these items and paid a hefty price for those who allowed them to store dangerous dark artifacts for safe keeping. There was also that large hunk of Osirion steel that came along with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We stopped at both Buck Station and Crudingdale the first 2 nights. After that we exited the forest and journeyed through the grassy plains until we found ourselves at a jungle with a wild assortment of trees.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were no caves in sight, but there was a massive tree for us to take camp under. It ended up being a pleasant evening, singing a few songs around a campfire. At the crack of dawn, we were back on the trek. It only took a couple hours before Nydorri suddenly stopped in her tracks and began to sniff around.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rest of us waited anxiously. After a moment the elf announced, \u201cIt\u2019s fine. Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yarrick quickly said, \u201cI don\u2019t think we should just let them go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> I totally forgot he was even there.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Without looking down at him Nydorri replied, \u201cWe don\u2019t kill people just for watching us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan was quick to add, \u201cThey\u2019re probably getting reinforcements,\u201d Then he asked. \u201cWho are we talking about? Lizard people\u2026 Goblins. It\u2019s probably goblins.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish seemed ready to attack, \u201cOh I hate those smelly fucks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho doesn\u2019t?\u201d I mocked, \u201cThey\u2019re goblins.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos looked at us upset, but for some reason only addressed me, \u201cYou know what man\u2026 You got a real problem with other people. It sort of really weirds me out that we\u2019re such close\u2026 I mean huh\u2026 such good acquaintances.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t believe I had made the same mistake again. My somewhat upper class upbringing has made me ignorant in many ways. And I can see I hurt the helkin in the feels. I had to make this right. And I didn\u2019t know where I was going when I started, but that\u2019s how the best apologies begin. \u201cDo you know why we\u2019re such great acquaintances?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you treat me normally.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 well yeah.\u201d Technically he was right. \u201cIt\u2019s because I need to learn from you and others who are different so that I can understand that which I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAll I know is pain,\u201d He gazed fiercely at the ground.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI want the world to know your story.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis pain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I want the world to know your pain. So that the world can grow from it. And together you and the world could heal as we learn. That\u2019s why you and I make very, very good acquaintances.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Everyone\u2019s jaw was wide the fuck open.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Except for Zorthos who gazed off into space. \u201cWho’s out there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chills were running down my spine, but there were more important things right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFurry folk,\u201d Nydorri quickly replied. \u201cThey\u2019re gone now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan whined, \u201cFurry folk always come back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I decided it was best not to weigh in on the situation. Thing was, I felt he was being a bit racist, but I didn\u2019t want to say he was wrong until I knew for sure that they wouldn\u2019t come back. Though I did note again that Zorthos didn\u2019t criticize anyone else for being racist. I hoped it was because he was blown away by my awesome speech.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We mostly stopped talking after that, due to us suspecting we were being followed. It wasn\u2019t more than an hour before Nydorri stopped us once again. She took a deep regretful breath before declaring, \u201cShit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTold ya,\u201d Yarrick reminded her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHow many?\u201d Roan asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The smaller rogue replied, \u201cA fucking lot.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a bit of distance between us and the nearest tree or bush, but it was quite dense in all directions. Within a moment I heard giggling from our left, then our right, and soon it was all around us. The wicked cackling of a local tribe.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou stepped into the wrong woods!\u201d A scratchy voice shouted in almost a friendly tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is Shenzi territory Bahahahaha!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson shouted back, \u201cIs that a type of cake?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From behind the tree in front of us, stepped a man with a brownish fur coat and a stumpy snout. Another stepped into view as well. At first, I thought they were coyotes, but Roan was quick to identify them, \u201cHyenians.\u201d He grabbed hold of the mace that I think he stole from a traveling mercenary before we left on this journey. \u201cMight as well be goblins.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cListen!\u201d I announced stepping forward. \u201cWe mean you know harm.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An arrow was in my throat a second later. Blood filled my mouth and my vision went in every direction. I could barely even hear the carnage around me. I dropped to my knees and rolled backwards, Nydorri was quick to grab me and drag me under the wagon.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As she ran off I realized there was a leaf, stuck to the wound on my throat, where the arrow no longer was. I didn\u2019t even see her touch it, or place the thin plant which slowly radiated on my pain. Soon agony began to fade, and I was able to breath with a clear mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The moment after that, I noticed Glish falling to his knees near me. Blood poured out of his stomach, except he didn\u2019t have a leaf covering his wound like I did. One of the hyenians was crawling towards him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I rolled out from under the wagon crawling towards the furry bastard trying to kill my tiny ally. He didn\u2019t see me coming, I slammed his head from the back with my elbow. Several times. I don\u2019t know if I killed him or not but he definitely didn\u2019t move after that.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan came flying through the air, crashing into the wagon behind me, cracking the side pretty badly. \u201cOkay, that one\u2019s a badass,\u201d He got back to his feet, and launched a spear he found on the ground back in the direction he came from.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A hyenian, taller than the others, with notably larger muscles, dodged his attack with ease. Then the furry beast dashed at the sailor. Roan yelped and rolled under the wagon, only to scream in pain and fear on the other side.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The one chasing him set his eyes on me, but vines quickly appeared around his legs. Nydorri once again was saving my life. Though right as she did that I noticed another enemy appear behind her, \u201cNydorri!\u201d it wasn\u2019t until I shouted that I felt the agony in my throat again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I fell to my knees, letting the leaf do its thing. My body recalibrated. A bear was tearing through the foe I saw attacking my elven friend, but now the jacked hyena guy had torn out of his constraints. He quickly grabbed a hand ax on the ground and chucked it at Beardorri\u2019s shoulder before she noticed he escaped.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She quickly transformed back into her elven form preparing her staff to attack our muscly foe. I looked around for something to throw, and ended up chucking Glish\u2019s hammer I found on the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It hit the hyenian in the arm just before he got to Nydorri, and she clobbered him in the face with her staff. Her attack rocked him, putting him on the ground. Then she slammed it into the ground and let the vines wrap around him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly another leapt from the bushes to attack her. She managed to defeat him with just her bow staff. The big one began to tear out of the vines again, but she started constraining him again from a distance.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Three more jumped from behind her before she could react, Zorthos suddenly appeared breathing pink flames from his mouth. All three of them lit a fire and dashed back into the trees. His breath also reached the one on the ground lighting him up as well. Oddly though, the vines didn\u2019t burn at all. But he screeched in pure agony.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wobbled with my sword in hand, preparing to put the hyneian out of his misery.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d Zorthos asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMercy\u2026\u201d I could barely say a word as I made a stabbing motion.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe fire isn\u2019t burning him,\u201d The helkin explained. \u201cThe pink flames are pretty expensive. But to save lives it\u2019s worth the cost.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHuh\u2026\u201d I tried to put it together. \u201cSo it\u2019s in his head.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo. You can obviously see it too,\u201d He looked at me like I was dumb. \u201cBut yes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A moment later Syrielle and Vergusson came sauntering back to us from opposite sides of the woods. Both lost count but were pretty confident they got somewhere in the ballpark of 15-20 each. Or \u201cThis one\u201d or \u201cThat one\u201d as Verg described it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish managed to take out four with his crossbow, and one with his hammer, before I came back into the fight, which really upset me. Bastard was really starting to pull ahead on me. And I couldn\u2019t even talk because of my neck. Which was annoying because I saved his ass. Even if the one I elbowed was injured, that was pretty badass the way I did that so I feel pretty successful overall.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We of course didn\u2019t wait long after that and basically sprinted out of the jungle into a sandy desert. Very quickly we came upon a canyon which forced us North until we found a village of rock houses. A couple of large orcs stood guard at the gate.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When we approached, there was a sign that read \u201cWelcome To Grandville,\u201d And the orcs waved politely. A human was there to greet us. Chief Claymont was always happy to take outsiders and there had been quite a few as of late. Which does so often happen when one of the many tribes of beastman in the nearby jungles get out of control. The hynenians recent activity forced them to hire the barbarian orcs to guard his home.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We laughed and told him what we had just done. Claymont nearly shit his pants. The Shenzi tribe had seemed like they’d conquer the land for years. Claymont\u2019s forces and the neighboring tribes had taken out many of the hyneian forces, but at great cost to their own. \u201cAnd the bastards are full grown in like what? A year? We got to call in help every few months when they just keep fucking and making more of each other. But then you guys come in and slaughter like 80 of them? The fuck are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cKayos.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So we stuck around and partied for about a full day. Then we were off through the desert heading as East as we could. Nothing particularly exciting happened on that portion of the journey, with the exception of the giant scorpions that allegedly were going to attack us but didn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos sensed them with his horns long before they got close. Nydorri smelled them well before that, but wanted to see if he\u2019d notice before it became a problem. Yarrick was already handling the situation before she even knew what was happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a few days, we ended up in a forest, where we found a road that quickly led us to the town of Sutersville. A colonized establishment near a gold mine. The mayor was quick to greet us, and just as quick to complain that there wasn\u2019t much entertainment around. I of course quickly volunteered and the crowd was as happy as could be. When my performance was over I noticed a cute little redheaded girl, with a fairly freckled face looking at me through the crowd. Once I noticed her she looked away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We kept awkwardly making eye contact for a few moments before I finally just walked over to her. \u201cHi\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello,\u201d She seemed to relax right as she said it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs it okay if I come over here and talk to you?\u201d Some men might say I\u2019m a pansy, but I was rather worried about making her uncomfortable. \u201cYou\u2019re kinda hard to read if I\u2019m honest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she nodded and looked at her feet. \u201cSorry. I just\u2026 I didn\u2019t think a man like you would want to talk to a girl like me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cWhat?\u201d I looked her up and down, double checking to make sure she was cute. Which I shouldn\u2019t have done, but she prompted the thought, forcing me to try and not find her flaws, meaning I was looking for her flaws.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With starry eyes she attempted to explain herself, \u201cYou\u2019re so talented. Women must be throwing themselves at you.\u201d She looked down again. \u201cA girl like me must look like one of the crowd.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cIf there\u2019s one thing women never seem to understand it\u2019s other women,\u201d I held my hand out to her. Someone had put a radio on, and a few people had begun dancing again. \u201cCome on, I\u2019ve been hoping to see you smile since I saw you in the crowd.\u201d It was an exaggeration, also I already saw her smile, but my comment prompted another one from her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She took my hand, and we stepped out onto the floor where everyone danced. We jived back and forth for a moment until I heard an unfamiliar voice shout the ever so familiar, \u201cTabitha you fucking slut.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cZues-fucking-damnit, again?\u201d I walked away from her shaking my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Syrielle and Nydorri were perched up next to the bar laughing at me. Both of them had drinks in their hands. The rest of my compatriots were scattered throughout the bar and none of them were paying attention. Which I assumed would be to my advantage.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A tall man with a big brown bushy beard grabbed Tabitha by the arm, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you? Are you dancing with that random boy? How could you shame me like this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how could you, Elrin?\u201d Syrielle facetiously criticized. \u201cFor shame. For shame.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> The man shoved the girl aside and started walking towards me with a group of about eight men in tow. I looked at Syrielle for help but she clarified, \u201cNot when you\u2019re talking to married women.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know she was married, you goon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tabitha ran up to the man\u2019s arm and grabbed it, \u201cFather please. I was just dancing with him. We weren\u2019t doing nothing wrong. I promise. Please stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I snapped my fingers, then pointed fiercely at the girl who claims to be my greatest friend. \u201cThat\u2019s her dad. He\u2019s telling her what to do.\u201d Gesturing between the samurai and the man threatening me I added, \u201cThat means if you don\u2019t help me you\u2019re a bad feminist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> She looked offended for a second, but Nydorri came to my aid. \u201cNo he\u2019s right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cWhere is he?\u201d The father of Tabitha shouted. \u201cI\u2019ll show that little shit what it means to come into our town and disrespect our women.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish climbed on Vergusson\u2019s shoulders and pointed at me, “He’s right there.” The little fucker was paying attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man walked towards me, with a large crowd around backing away to give him space, \u201cNow look here. I was respectful of your daughter from beginning to end. I wasn\u2019t gonna cause any problems. I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou are the problem,\u201d He declared before asking, \u201cDo you even know who I am?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Clearly I did not. \u201cWell I\u2019m hoping whoever you are, you\u2019re very nice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He poked his finger in my chest. \u201cI\u2019m the damn healer around here.\u201d His face was so close or noses squished together. \u201cI get respect. I\u2019m not a man you want to mess with.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cI literally walked away,\u201d While I had a lot to drink I still felt like I made a fair argument.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t get smart with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can be stupider.\u201d There was no doubt in my mind that it was a dumb comment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The angry father shook his head and declared, \u201cI may make a living putting people right. But if you keep lipping off after disgracing my daughter I will put you wrong. I swear to Odin I will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe got your back!\u201d Glish shouted standing on Verg\u2019s head. \u201cI\u2019m talking to you Elrin. Just for clarification. We\u2019re on your team.\u201d Vergusson, and Roan gave me thumbs up to clarify they\u2019re also on my team. I facetiously returned the gesture. Then the hafflin shouted, \u201cYo big guy you gonna let him try to infest your family?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Before I could yell Tabitha\u2019s dad asked, \u201cWho the fuck is that little man?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The hafflin crossed his arms, \u201cGlish Wick of house <\/span>beat yo ass and fuck yo daughter.<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dozens of people looked ready for weaponless combat. The father growled at my hafflin antagonist, \u201cYou little shit,\u201d then looked at me with a fire in his eyes I\u2019d seen on several occasions since I stepped foot in Kayos.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo this is the part where you punch me in the face.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know why I allowed him to land the first strike, but I ducked the second giving me a straight shot at his gut. When he keeled over in front of me, his men came in from the sides. Syrielle swiftly subdued one, and I noticed Nydorri with her bare human hands doing the same to another.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The elf maiden loudly shouted at the next men coming at her, \u201cLet the girl fuck who she wants to fuck.\u201d She kicked her next opponent in the nuts.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat she said, but nicer,\u201d Syrielle shouted, as she defeated two more in a far more polite method than the barbaric behavior the savage dressed in leaves just unleashed<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I had a quick boxing match with another fellow, but he didn\u2019t last long. He really didn\u2019t look like he had much experience in a fight at all, whereas I had plenty at this point. As I admired my work a chair smashed over my head. The father was back on top of me, choking me from behind. My elbows smashed into his gut, with no effect. I began to pry his fingers off.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He let the grip go and I scrambled away from him. As he grabbed another chair I kicked him in the butt from behind sending him hurtling forwards. I heard several loud screams, \u201cWhat is that thing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Blondos was gone and three people were punching and kicking a red horned hellkin extremely hard. Without any weapons, an honorable man like Zorthos wasn\u2019t going to unleash any of his demonic abilities.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I dashed behind one of the men, pulled him off, and then punched him in the face. Glish snuck up on another one. Freeing Zorthos to handle one in his own in a round of fisty cuffs. A task he handled just fine at that point.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson had about 8 men dog piling him, while Syrielle was making her way through 2 at a time. Roan was having fun. I couldn’t even tell what was going on with him. Because the healer was coming at me again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He had yet another chair, but I elbowed him in the face pretty much putting him stiff in one shot. When I looked around I noticed a few men had grabbed swords, but they all appeared paralyzed. Come to think of it, I had no idea where Yarrick even was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once the whole fight was over everyone was huffing and puffing. No injuries appeared to be serious, other than the people unconscious and twitching. And all the blood. My homies looked fine overall.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tabitha was near the bar looking worried.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I approached her with a soft smile and asked, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry this happened. I didn\u2019t mean to cause you any problems. I was just in the moment. I forget about the consequences. I didn\u2019t mean to put you in danger.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been through far worse,\u201d I told her, realizing that the music was still playing over the stereo. \u201cI\u2019m not bothered at all.\u201d Holding my hand out to her I asked, \u201cMay I have this dance?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou just beat the shit out of my dad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> We were on the road at the crack of dawn. The next town wasn\u2019t far and I did not volunteer to perform this time. We stayed a normal amount then left again. The next map showed a pretty long hilly road ahead. Though along the way it didn\u2019t feel like the best route. I did the best I could to make due for us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I could walk 500 miles<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And I could walk 500 more<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

To be a the man who walks a thousands miles<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

To fall down at your door<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There\u2019s a part where everyone could easily join.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Da da da\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Da da da<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And they were terrible at it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though we did need to try for some entertainment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After crossing the long mountains, and not making friends with some goat people, we ended up in yet another insane looking jungle with more trees than any of us could name. This time, we didn\u2019t have a map, but we did know if we kept traveling East, with a bit of North, we\u2019d eventually see a big ass mountain and that\u2019s what we\u2019re looking for.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As we walked, I heard a loud thump accompanied by Roan whining, \u201cOw!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was rubbing his head as he knelt down to inspect a gourd. He scooped it up to look closer, \u201cIs Elrin putting on another performance?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d I didn\u2019t understand what he meant. \u201cHow is that\u2026 I don\u2019t throw things.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That annoying smile flashed across his douchey sailor face. \u201cNo, I thought I was getting caught in the crossfire.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I almost questioned again until I realized he was referring to that time somebody was disappointed in my performance and threw food at me in The Titan\u2019s Trap.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It would have been a good joke by the sailor, if it wasn\u2019t for the fact that Glish was the one that threw the tomato. And I\u2019m pretty sure he liked the song I was singing, but for some reason someone gave him a tomato.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLook,\u201d Nydorri pointed upwards. \u201cHe\u2019s just saying hello.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a monkey hanging from a tree. He was hollering at us holding another gourd preparing to throw it. Roan pointed at the animal that just threw the gourd at his head. \u201cGlish, how did you get up in the tree?\u201d He snickered to himself as he said it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre you calling me a monkey?\u201d The hafflin pouted.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGods!\u201d Roan pumped his fist in celebration, \u201cI\u2019m on a roll.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before anyone noticed he was doing anything, Vergusson threw the gourd back at the monkey, but thankfully it missed. Glish barked at him, \u201cHey don\u2019t play the monkey\u2019s game.\u201d Several people unironically pulled out more dangerous projectiles. As if he wasn\u2019t surrounded by such behavior Glish continued to suggest, \u201cWe should tame the monkey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos raised his red finger happily, \u201cOh that\u2019s a good idea. I like that one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDisguise yourself as a monkey,\u201d The hafflin demanded.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Syrielle enthusiastically added, \u201cA pretty lady monkey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Very proud of his skills in illusion, Zorthos transformed himself into what I could only call a Monkeyperson. He could certainly pass as a beastman but no regular monkey. Yet when he crouched down and started making the noises, sounding very much like a person imitating a monkey, we all just nodded and pretended to be proud of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lady-Monkeypersonos danced seductively backwards toward the chimp that hung from the tree. At first it just screeched, but then it went silent and stared at him curiously. The illusionist began to shake his hips even more ferociously.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I had a question on my mind, but thankfully Syrielle was there to ask it instead, \u201cHey Nydorri. Can\u2019t you like\u2026 turn into an actual monkey? I feel like that\u2019d be hotter for the monkey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nydorri\u2019s smirk never wavered. \u201cLet the boys have their fun.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The chimp dropped down from the tree to scream some more.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan stared with angry curiosity at his nemesis, \u201cDo I want to kick a monkey?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust let this play out first,\u201d Glish patted him on the knee. \u201cI wanna see where it goes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The monkey didn\u2019t move from its position. It just screeched louder until we saw a few more monkeys show up hanging from different branches. A couple of them grabbed different fruit including more gourds off the trees.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you dare!\u201d Roan held his right thumb in the air and pointed his index finger at the monkey\u2019s threatening to hit him in the head again. \u201cI swear to Poseidon I will. I don\u2019t care if it hurts me more you monkey fucker.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Noticing a flaw in his insult I asked, \u201cIsn\u2019t that a compliment?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As if he planned it all along he snapped, \u201cWhy do you want to fuck monkeys?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More chimps showed up on the other side. From the sound of things they weren’t the last of them coming from the jungles. One of them threw an apple, then the rest followed in with the pandemonium.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We all ran straight for the wagon, thankfully most of our assailants had horrible aim. There was a loud yelp coming from my left, and I turned to see a monkey fall from a tree and hit the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson pumped his chest with pride. \u201cTHAT\u2019S HOW YOU THROW A GOURD!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos chimed in with a clever quip, \u201cNow that\u2019s what I call squash.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nydorri ran to the front of the wagon, transforming herself into an ox after asking to be hooked up to the vehicle. Syrielle tied her very quickly to the front of the other oxen and the wagon. Before I reached the vehicle, a powerful destructive roar shook the trees, releasing every critter that hadn\u2019t yet run from the mess we\u2019d created.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuys what is happening?\u201d Roan whined.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Most of the monkey\u2019s had scattered away, and through the trees and the bushes, we saw it. A magnificent monster, nearly thirty feet tall by my estimation. I\u2019d seen great apes before, but none of us had ever seen an ape this great.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My first question was, \u201cSo were those all the baby monkeys and that\u2019s the mommy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Just as I finished asking, the ape stepped out of the leaves into full view. Vergusson pointed right at the exact body part that proved my theory wrong. \u201cDude?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah I can see it\u2019s their daddy now let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We hopped aboard the wagon letting the horses take off. With Oxydorri at the lead, we moved at incredible speeds. Zorthos sat on the back, preparing to attack. As the massive ape charged he blasted it in the face with his eye beams. The attack barely stunned it for a moment, and it only appeared angrier afterwards.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo may I ask why this is happening?\u201d Syrielle asked the rather fair question.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos was breathing a little heavy after using his power, \u201cI was trying to catch a tiny monkey because I wanted to start a circus.\u201d His tone suggested he was disappointed she forgot. \u201cAnd early on when I was seducing the monkey things were going well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the beast realized it wasn\u2019t going to catch the pace of the wagon, it roared very mightily and whiny. Then it ripped a tiny, though in most forests normal sized, tree from the ground. He probably could have thrown it right away but he had to flaunt it a bit. When he was done showing his strength off, he threw the tree right at us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cVerg!\u201d Syrielle screamed as she leapt towards him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before she even shouted, the half-orc shifted into position, holding his hand in a shot put pose. When her right foot connected to his palm he shoved her outwards and she extended her leg. The samurai launched through the air, slicing the tree straight in half causing both parts to crash on the ground beside us, but also leaving Syrielle behind the wagon.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The massive ape screamed at her once before lunging. I looked around for a rope, but only found one being tied up to a spear by Roan. \u201cYou must learn to think a little faster darling.\u201d He chucked the spear then handed the other end to Vergusson.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos summoned a shield in his hand, an item I had never seen from him before. He dropped it on the ground below as the wagon pulled away. Syrielle grabbed the spear, let the momentum pull her along and then hopped on the devil\u2019s shield gliding along the dirt.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson slowly reeled her in, and all of us were aboard once more on our way out of the jungle. Nydorri didn\u2019t last long as an ox, and needed to hop back on the wagon. She gave both of our steeds berries and they took off like bats out of hades.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In about an hour we made it out of the jungle and into another desert. A more open space would make it easier to spot an incoming giant gorilla that could hide through the massive trees. It also makes it easier for the gorilla to spot us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We quickly found a tribe of hafflin that were happy to take us in. They were very familiar with the gorillas, which was why they dwelled in the deserts nearby. As long as we were on the sands we would be safe from the beast. Still, it would be heavily advised that we find a different route home.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That town was by far my favorite town I\u2019d ever stayed in. It had these bouncy things with springs called trampolines. We literally spent two days there. It was a total waste of our time.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The hafflin\u2019s were polite enough to give us a map, leading us the rest of the way to Mount Dorrin. The map did not take into account the dire rats that would attack us, but honestly we handled them pretty easily. Or my comrades did so once again. Per usual, I was useless.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Other than that, the map was a lifesaver, and led us from one landmark straight to another until we found ourselves near the grassy hills that sat just before our destination. After half a week, we finally ended our 33 day journey to Mount Dorrin. There was a very flat road, leading us to the base of the mountain. We climbed the staircase up the side of the mountain for about 20 min. As we reached the end of the staircase we found a large black doorway with a security catwalk above it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get drunk,\u201d Vergusson yelled up to the top.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos instantly disguised himself as a dwarf with his magic, showing off a beautiful red beard. Glish of course followed suit as well, announcing himself as a dwarf. To which Vergusson promptly decided that he was also a dwarf.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan knocked on the stone door. \u201cOi,\u201d A voice replied through the rocks.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Ello,\u201d The helkin in glamor yelled out. \u201cI\u2019m also a dwarf.\u201d Certainly something dwarves say to one another.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d The dwarf from behind the door yelled down again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe want to meet Gimble,\u201d I yelled back. \u201cI mean we\u2019ve met Gimble. We\u2019re here to meet him again. We\u2019ve been traveling for days and I\u2019m here to drink with the best of them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish interrupted. \u201cWe\u2019re businessmen, we’re here on business.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re people from Grumbsy,\u201d I yelled out. \u201cWe met the Great Gimble, Doc and some of their pals out West. He used this fellow\u2019s brother’s blacksmithing station for blacksmithing. We just wanted to say <\/span>hey how are things out here?<\/span><\/i> And stuff like that<\/span>.<\/span><\/i>\u201d I stopped yelling and whispered to Roan. \u201cWhat are we doing here again?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re here to see the dwarves.\u201d He didn\u2019t seem at all disappointed in my explanation of us being there. Apparently I was pretty spot on.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs this a social visit?\u201d I waited for him to reply and when he didn\u2019t I blurted out, \u201cDo you wanna do the talking? Because I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m talking right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re our face,\u201d he whined. \u201cYou want me to talk, I’ll talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI already got us in,\u201d Glish declared.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d I asked, while Roan didn\u2019t care at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish pointed at the box we were carrying. \u201cI showed them the cargo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The doors opened and after a long painful journey, we finally made it not just to the door, but inside Heather\u2019s Keep. As we walked in the doors we saw Gimble turning the corner moving towards us in a hussle, \u201cRoan! Just the man I needed to see. We got a job for you people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cWe\u2019re gonna get drunk first.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter : Next Chapter \u201cA round of troll on me,\u201d I announced, sauntering into the titan\u2019s trap expecting a chorus of cheers. Only a few people raised their glasses in gratitude, but for the most part nobody cared I was there.   Of course, there was a bit of a kerfuffle going on. When […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=264"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":284,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions\/284"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}