{"id":282,"date":"2024-11-20T05:16:45","date_gmt":"2024-11-20T05:16:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=282"},"modified":"2024-11-20T21:42:23","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T21:42:23","slug":"elrin-daun-and-the-grumbsy-gang-chapter-14-the-final-chapter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=282","title":{"rendered":"Elrin Daun and the Grumbsy Gang – Chapter 14: The Final Chapter"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An illness had befallen me. That\u2019s the excuse my friends gave Gimble when they left on the adventure without me. I was just pretty hungover from drinking with the dwarves all night, but everyone has a rough day once in a while.\u00a0 A berry from Nydorri would have put me right in no time. But they \u201cAren\u2019t candy to be tossed around every time someone has too much to drink.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still, they could have tried to wake me up. Instead they just took off. I vaguely remember an argument about who was the best friend among us and insisted I was The One, thus infuriating all of them. Except for Zorthos who agreed I was a very good acquaintance. Although upon saying so he began listing everything he doesn\u2019t like about me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The job they went on sounded very fun, I was quite jealous they left me behind. But then I remembered I was in a brand new place. There was the whole of Heather\u2019s Keep to explore. So I went back to drink at the Braided Beard, where we spent the night before, because I could get started on the rest of the exploring later on. I tried to keep my pace slow, so as not to fall ill once again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And pretty soon, I was confident that keeping my mind clear was the correct decision after all. No man would ever want to be drunk enough to speak silly when they spot a woman as fair as the one in the purple tunic that burst into the Braided Beard with the ever so familiar look of worry on her face. I couldn\u2019t tell if I was dreaming when her voice first hit my ears. \u201cI heard there were sell swords around. Are they still here?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell we prefer the term adventurers,\u201d I rose to my feet with as much bravado as I could summon, \u201cAnd alas the rest of my squad went off to deal with some wicked thing in the woods, but I stayed behind just in case another nefarious plot was afoot.\u201d I couldn\u2019t tell if she was impressed yet, but she didn\u2019t necessarily seem not impressed. \u201cElrin Daun of Gladland The Fighting Writer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a huge smile she shook my hand, \u201cShana Vanar. Whether adventurer or sellsword, I\u2019m in need of help. As much help as I can get I\u2019m afraid. Are you sure your friends aren\u2019t available?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Not wanting to reveal that my feelings were hurt, I smiled and truthfully explained, \u201cThey went on a mission without me.\u201d Then I lied, \u201cThey tend to get a little lost when they leave behind they\u2019re brains. I doubt they\u2019ll be back soon.\u201d Noticing a sense of dread in her eyes I dropped the silly act. \u201cI think they\u2019re gone for a few days honestly. But really I\u2019m here to help. Whatever it is. Unless you\u2019re the bad guy. <\/span>Are you the bad guy?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shana shrugged, \u201cI promise the badder guys are pretty bad.\u201d There was almost a playful smile for a second, but it disappeared pretty quickly as her worry was dominating her emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The bartender, Terrin, was quick to butt in to the conversation. \u201cAnd who exactly are you hiring this bard here to go kill? You think I don\u2019t have friends in the area? We trade with everyone around here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou do much work with the folks at Halton?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fear appeared in the dwarf\u2019s eyes. \u201cHappy hunting.\u201d Then he returned to his work.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s certainly all I need to validate you as the good guy,\u201d I began to walk out the door. \u201cI\u2019m sure you can explain the situation to me on the way. And if we really need more men to fight with us, I\u2019m known to be rather convincing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> She shook her head doubtfully with a delightful smile. \u201cWe\u2019ll see if we need it. My other allies are also searching for help. My husband has a friend who knows some of the best warriors in Northern Kayos.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Damnit.<\/span><\/i> I mouthed to myself right as she walked past me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Realizing I was in too deep, and having an existential crisis over whether or not I\u2019m a good person, I had to ask. \u201cSo I have been known to just go out and do stuff without much of an explanation but would you mind telling me what in Hades we\u2019re doing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d She placed a hand on my arm. \u201cWe\u2019re going to kill a man named Ivan Pavlov. A Warlord from Sovia. My family and I have been terrorized by him for years. But with his treaty to the Boros Empire he was well protected. When the house of Boros fell and the War of a Thousand Lords began, he was fast to take territory. But his power wasn\u2019t as stable. Giving me and my allies the chance to swarm his stronghold with a small army of ours. He escaped, and that\u2019s the last we\u2019d heard of him. We\u2019ve been successfully keeping the region safe from the rest of the lords, without so much as a sniff of Ivan. Until, about a year ago we found one of Pavlov\u2019s closest allies, Poric Thonel, brought in a group of raiders to lay siege on a couple of cities near Mount Chelskini. Didn\u2019t go the way he wanted it to, not on our watch. That\u2019s when we learned Poric wasn\u2019t his only ally in the area.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She suddenly stopped and looked at me as she realized I might not have a fucking clue what the hell she was talking about. So I nodded to her, \u201cI understood the majority of those words.\u201d My comment received a giggle.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not many people around here would understand anything she just said. It was a lot of information. Chelskini is a pretty massive mountain, but there\u2019s many larger ones, so not many bards talk about it. I happened to have heard of The Blue Battle of Chelskini, from a hundred years ago, because I hung out with all of the bards and heard all of the stories. And most of the other bards read a lot. Half the population of Eurome probably couldn\u2019t even place the continent of Sovia on a map. It\u2019s just to the East Norgarrd, and quite a bit to the North of Kayos. Of course, nearly everyone knew about The War of A Thousand Lords<\/em>, which had only begun a few years ago. Most wouldn\u2019t know it all began with the fall of Boros. In fact I\u2019ve been telling people since I got to the continent, though I know very little more than that. All I could tell anyone was that Lord Boros and his family pretty much had Sovia under their thumb. They were, as all royal families before and after, incredibly fucking dysfunctional.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How? I don\u2019t know, just fill in the blanks there\u2019s always bullshit with those people.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anyways, they’re all dead now. Thus every social construct they had built that kept the thousand warlords across Sovia in check was gone. With no loyalty, and the growing fear of conflict, carnage was inevitable.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thus, a great big seemingly Endless War.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been resisting,\u201d She continued to explain. \u201cIt\u2019s been a long road filled with blood, but we followed Ivan back to the untamed continent we\u2019re on right now. And after a few months of taking on his mercenaries and whatever else Kayos threw our way, we finally tracked his location to a small city called Halton just to the North of here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he powerful?\u201d I had to ask considering what I\u2019ve seen.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s well connected,\u201d She replied, \u201cAnd he\u2019s very good with a sword. Depending on who you ask, you might even hear he\u2019s great. I wouldn\u2019t say he\u2019s anything special. And I doubt he has anyone of note on his payroll at the time. But the man never goes anywhere without at least a hundred men around him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSoldiers or lovers?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t even realize the joke came out when she laughed again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s had a master swordsman on his staff before,\u201d She lowered her eyebrows at me. \u201cPlenty of elite killers have been loyal to him. I\u2019m sure none of them are going to be threatening for a man like yourself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I\u2019m a badass just from that funny name I said?\u201d I genuinely asked, noticing a little chuckle. \u201cBecause I can beat the average guy in a sword fight. And if something is standing still and not that far away I\u2019m confident I can hit it with my arrow, but not like in a specific spot or anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her reaction was much the same as it had always been. Every part of her seemed tense, until the moment I would make a silly comment. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn\u2019t trying to impress her, and that\u2019s what she was connecting to. Not like it mattered. She\u2019s married. And from the sound of things her husband was good at killing. Not like that matters either because I won\u2019t go for a married lady.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m not that kind of a bard.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSo anyways\u2026\u201d I realized there was more information to be asked. \u201cYou keep saying we, but you never told me who the fuck you were talking about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She told me all about her small group of friends on the way out of Heather\u2019s keep. Unfortunately, she mostly told me about the dead ones, very few were left. Though she had a way of telling stories about them in a fun way.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our walk wasn\u2019t long. We ended up in a small town called Brot. Which was one of my favorite names for a town. When Shana saw a tall blonde handsome man she ran right up to him and gave him a kiss.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After they embraced she gestured to me with enthusiasm. \u201cThomas, this is Elrin Daun of Gladland The Fighting Writer,\u201d I normally hate it when people introduce me. That\u2019s my thing, but in this case I really hated it. Because she was really cute when she said it. And adorableness is stupid when you don\u2019t get to fuck it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thomas walked right over to shake my hand, \u201cHappy to have you here. We could use every blade we can muster.\u201d He led me into a small home, packed with about a few dozen men. Most in leather armor, a few in full plate. A variety of weapons about. There was a large orc, that was probably their friend Grugs, and a man with a cat face, that couldn\u2019t have been anyone but Felix.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The rest of her friends were dead from what she told me. Which means everyone else in this room is one of the sellswords the others recruited. Possibly some of the best warriors in Northern Kayos.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs that everyone?\u201d Grugs asked from the back. \u201cI got a skull to crush.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNot if I cut his throat first,\u201d Felix purred, flashing his claws.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grugs looked confused, \u201cI mean\u2026 Why can\u2019t I crush his skull after that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho said you couldn\u2019t?\u201d The catman was confused.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The orc was equally confused. \u201cYou literally just said <\/span>NOT if I cut his throat first<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I was just saying I\u2019m gonna be the one that kills him,\u201d Felix clarified.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shana\u2019s hands were on her face during the brief exchange. \u201cOkay. We do not need to get into this right now in front of the hired help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Being the said <\/span>hired help<\/span><\/i> I felt it appropriate to share my opinion. \u201cI was good with it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sellswords around all nodded their heads and gave their thumbs up agreeing that they were fine with the discussion. They were paying us after all. As warriors we understand what it\u2019s like to have an enemy, and allies must be on the same page. Once validated to continue Grugs said, \u201cOkay so dibs on killing Ivan.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat no, I already said that\u2026\u201d Felix argued. He slashed his claws in the air and said, \u201cYou even just pointed out I said, <\/span>Not if I cut the throat first.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grugs scrunched his face. \u201cBecause I said I was gonna crush his skull.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Shana, having completely changed her tone, explained to Felix, \u201cThat\u2019s why you said it like that. Who says <\/span>not if I do it first<\/span><\/i> if somebody else didn\u2019t say they were already gonna do the thing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All of us sellswords nodded and agreed with the argument.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Felix purred in disappointment. \u201cWell he outlawed my people in <\/span>Chelsinki<\/span>. Not to mention\u2026\u201d He hopped to his feet and showed off a massive scar on the side of his body.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grugs showed off his own scar, \u201cNot only did he rip out half my organs, he had me framed for murder and banished from my own home. If it\u2019s personal for anyone it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Myself and the other sellswords weren\u2019t sure who was making a better point. We all just sort of moaned as we pondered which of them was truly the greater victim.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thomas, loudly announced with anger, \u201cAnd he killed our daughter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Several gasps kept the room from total silence. After about a second we all just sort of pointed at them and said something along the lines of, \u201cThey should get the kill.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once that was settled they began to break down the details of the mission ahead of us. Since Ivan arrived, Halton put up massive metal walls, with one gate leading out.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We discussed a variety of methods to get past barriers. Ramming the gates, scaling the walls, finding some dire birds we could train to ride inside. Ultimately we decided to sneak just a few of us inside the perimeter undercover to open the gates.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I volunteered along with four Norgardian warriors Felix recruited. Their names were Urik, Guyer, Lor, and Tim. In order to pass through without suspicion we\u2019d have to put our weapons down for the evening and walk in unarmed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tim was quick to point out, \u201cWe\u2019ll just pry the metal from their dead fingers after we choke the life out of them.\u201d His three friends looked pretty excited, they seemed to have quite a bit of experience as a squad.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI like that you’re on my team,\u201d I patted Tim on the shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Right after I said that, I felt a hand on my elbow. Shana was standing there, having not really spoken to me directly since we\u2019d arrived. \u201cThank you so much. They\u2019re a little disappointed I didn\u2019t get more soldiers but, at least I got one of the bravest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the prettiest,\u201d I replied quickly as I looked at the crowd of allies around. \u201cIf I die you will owe the woman of Kayos many apologies, because you’re leaving them with this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She of course snickered to a giggle to a full laugh from the beginning to the end of my ramble.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then of course Thomas arrived at her side, though he didn\u2019t seem bothered by us enjoying each other’s company. \u201cThank you\u2026 Elrin.\u201d It took him a second to remember my name. \u201cSorry there\u2019s so many of you. And I\u2019ve been getting everyone else\u2019s name wrong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s terrible with names,\u201d Shana nodded almost with pride.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOn the clouds of Perun,\u201d Thomas held his hand to his heart. \u201cI vow, That even though we are paying you, after this we will forever be in your debt. Anything you ever need from us. If you know where we are, we will be there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My eyes looked around and I asked quietly \u201cAre you saying that to everyone? That\u2019s a lot of debt.\u201d I wagged my finger around the crowd.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They both laughed, and she didn\u2019t seem to feel a need to hide her amusement of me in front of him at all. She touched my elbow once more and declared, \u201cBe safe out there Elrin. And if you get the chance to slay big bad Ivan, maybe let him go and save the kill for us?\u201d Then she winked. He fist bumped me. They walked away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then off I went with Urik, Guyer, Lor, and Tim.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I suspected, the 4 of them had been best friends for quite some time. They moved to the region from Norgard about two years ago to run from the grip of the king. Much like everyone else here. Unfortunately, they\u2019d been taking odd jobs, some of which were a bit on the sketchy side, ever since.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They volunteered for this particular part of the mission because they had a bit of experience as spies. Not like a lot of experience, but some. Tom explained that, \u201cOur friend Randy, said some catman was looking for some fighters and maybe some sneaky people. Randy didn\u2019t know anyone better than us. It didn\u2019t feel like he was giving us a compliment.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His words did not lift my spirits. \u201cWell we\u2019re not doing that much sneaking right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026\u201d He looked to Urik for an answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Urik pointed at me, \u201cI was hoping you were the sneakiest one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Lor nodded next to him, \u201cYeah man. Like we\u2019re good at it, but we were just hoping to, like, get through the front gate, find some fun hiding spots and then when you get to the lever or whatever, we start sneak attacking people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Guyer smacked him lightly on the arm in agreement. \u201cThat\u2019s what I was hoping for.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell I\u2019m kinda sneaky,\u201d I rubbed my head. \u201cI\u2026 I was hoping to do what you guys were hoping to do. Lor here looks sneaky as shit I thought he had this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lor shook his head, \u201cNo, I breathe really heavily.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the worst,\u201d Tom added.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAlright\u2026\u201d I thought for a second. \u201cWe just kinda go in and see what happens when we\u2019re in there. We don\u2019t even know how the gate opens, the five of us might gotta just charge a few people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Guyer was quick to ask, \u201cHow is your kung fu?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWanting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From the way they explained it, so was theirs.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The walk to Halton wasn\u2019t far from Brot. We didn\u2019t have a good way to confirm our other allies would get into position, mainly because we didn\u2019t know what their position would be. Also the closer we got the less we talked. All of us likely feared being heard for some reason even if we were out of earshot of the city.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We arrived at the gate just as the sun was starting to set. The door was soon to close, but the guards were still letting people pass. Though they were checking the identification of everyone coming through. Which was not something we were told was going to happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAre they gonna let a few travelers in like us?\u201d I asked my comrade next to me with the hope that the people in front of me in line would answer. They didn\u2019t. They were just a couple of people pulling a crate of vegetables talking to each other and didn\u2019t want to interact with anyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The guards greeted the pair quickly and let them through when it was their turn. Then they stopped us. \u201cNow who in the hell are you folks?\u201d The man in half plate armor looked us up and down. \u201cYou got appointments.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJust travelers,\u201d I replied. \u201cI am the great musician, Daniel The Dancer. And these are a few fans of mine who\u2019ve been tagging along and learning a thing or two about singing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not that I had in any way instructed them to do something like this, but they started singing. Badly, but not that badly. First Tom just started with a song, and the rest of them knew the words so they all just went with it. When I waved my hand like a composer, they stopped. \u201cI\u2019m a much better singer than a teacher I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cProve it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So I copied the exact lyrics I just heard.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carry on My Wayward Son<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

There\u2019ll Be Peace When You Are Done<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Lay Your Weary Head to Rest<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t You Cry No More<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The guard was shocked. He forcefully grabbed my arm. \u201cOkay so we need you right now.\u201d Without waiting for a response he began dragging me away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOur performer died,\u201d He told me. \u201cHe was our last one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve seen this before,\u201d I pulled my hand back from him. \u201cWait, what about my boys?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He gave me a dirty look, \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy boys,\u201d When I pointed back the homies were posing.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey can\u2019t sing though,\u201d He looked disappointed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBut they can fucking party,\u201d I put my arm around him. \u201cIf you treat them like crap, then you don\u2019t deserve the honor of this Bard\u2019s throat and tongue. And neither will your women. Unless they come out here. I won\u2019t actually be picky about that last part.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The other guard standing there said, \u201cIt\u2019s not worth the hassle. Just let them all in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They did so, and my new allies were shown the way to a tavern and told to wait there for me. \u201cThis isn\u2019t a town that just lets outsiders go wandering around. We\u2019re making an exception because we need him. You stay out of trouble. You hear?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tim shook his hand, \u201cI promise there will be no problems at all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They walked away with one guard, and I walked away with another. Not before I saw the door close extremely quickly. Though I didn\u2019t quite spot where the mechanism that did the deed was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not that it was probably anymore. At that point, it was their job. I got them in the door, and now all eyes are on me. Also I\u2019m pretty sure Felix said he was confident he could sneak in here on his own and nobody would notice, so he\u2019ll probably take care of pulling the lever if it really came down to it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was about to go put on a performance. And I had a pretty good idea who was going to be in the room. The largest building was right in the center of town, and that\u2019s where they took me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Guards at the door, guards inside, as well as some orcs and elves sitting around that looked like they could kill some people too. There were also quite a few women. Beautiful women in fact. Some of them didn\u2019t look like prostitutes, but I was so confident others were. The more I looked the more I couldn\u2019t tell who wasn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was tossed on stage quickly and introduced as \u201cDod the Dunce.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t correct them.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I did rock that fucking stage as I always do. You know how it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And then there he was, with a grateful smile on his face, hand in hand with mine. \u201cLord Ivan Pavlov,\u201d He announced proudly. \u201cThe Ruler of Halton,\u201d He wasn\u2019t any taller than me, but he was a fair bit older. His hair was blond, but looked like it was beginning to gray. His shoulders were broad, but his grip didn\u2019t frighten me. It hurt, just didn\u2019t frighten me. \u201cDod was it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe name the Gods gave me?\u201d I replied. \u201cTell me Ivan, you have parties like this often?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He put his arm around my shoulders, \u201cWell, in Kayos we\u2019ve never had a party like this. I haven\u2019t seen a performer like you since my days in Sovia.\u201d He took a sip of his drink, \u201cBut if you mean the alcohol and the hookers then yeah we do this everyday. Unless I’m pillaging myself, but I don\u2019t gotta do that no more ya know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I did,\u201d My disgust was hidden quite well. Just knowing that I was there to kill him, made it so much easier to sink into character. \u201cI\u2019ll be honest with you, there ain\u2019t much time for performing around here. I find myself stabbing folks on the road for food more than once. Now I have these crazy guys who love my music following me around, they\u2019ll pretty much just stab the people for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What, the, fuck, was I talking about?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n<\/span><\/i> \u201cYou got a good mind on you?\u201d He pulled me in closer. \u201cWe could keep a guy like you around. Performances like that, and a ruthlessness to match our own. We could pay you a shitload to stick around Halton. And when I start taking back Sovia. Maybe I\u2019ll even take you with me. How does that sound? The Jester of the Lord of Lords.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cJester\u2019s tell jokes,\u201d I told him. \u201cI sing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tralalalala<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He laughed pretty hard at my awesome jest. \u201cJust think about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLord of lords?\u201d I asked. \u201cYou think you got an army to take out the other thousand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOver half of them are dead\u2026\u201d He bellowed proudly and started walking me around the party. \u201cThough there\u2019s twice as many as before. But it\u2019s becoming more and more unstable. And it takes me a year, or two to pull some strings and purchase the right soldiers.\u201d He indicated the numbers. \u201cUnfortunately I\u2019ve lost some of my best lately to unfortunate circumstances, but I\u2019m sure as long as I hang around Kayos I\u2019ll run into some immensely skilled killers looking for some coin and the favor of the future Lord of Lords.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d I asked, and then clarified when he looked confused, \u201cYou said you lost some of your best lately.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d He nodded proudly. \u201cHad a couple of Mountain Dwarves that could tear through people like knives through butter. I mean I swear I see these brothers just slaughter 100 goblins each in one sitting. Had them lead a small group to take a quick fort down South.\u201d He growled, \u201cThat furry bastard poisoned them in their sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d I knew damn well who.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFelix,\u201d He grumbled to himself. \u201cSome Cat bastard that runs with a team led by some damn whore Shana.\u201d I almost punched him right there. \u201cThe whole squad and some reinforcements took the fort after that. None of them could have stood up to my dwarves, not even their little orc friend.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As someone who met Grugs it was hard not to laugh at him being called little.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ve been doing this to me for years.\u201d He shook his head with rage. \u201cShana and her shitty little band of wanna-be heroes have stalked and slaughtered my hired killers for years.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That\u2019s when he started to tremble with excitement. \u201cBut the next set of assassins will be specifically for them. Those bastards. After all we\u2019ve been through in our petty little war. The Final Chapter is coming soon. And when it\u2019s over, all of Sovia will be mine for the taking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI bet I got jokes for that\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The one I told was well taken. After laughing he dragged me over to a nervous woman sitting by herself, \u201cHow\u2019s about you fuck this one?\u201d She did not look like she wanted to be there at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So, as a hero of the land, I had to get her out of there. \u201cOf course,\u201d I shouted, \u201cWhere\u2019s the nearest room to take her to for privacy and things like that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI was kind of hoping we could watch,\u201d He licked his lips. \u201cMan like you, we could probably learn a thing or two.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c…I don\u2019t know what the fuck that means.\u201d I did know what it meant. I didn\u2019t know how to respond.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He laughed his ass off. Then he told her to take me to an empty room. She reluctantly did so. Once inside she turned around and tried to look seductive but I held my hands on her shoulders. \u201cRelax, you\u2019re fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t want to be here\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She was completely stunned. I sat down in a chair near her. \u201cBesides. I\u2019m not the type to pay for it. I don\u2019t shame women who do, but I\u2019d just rather money not be a part of it. I just think it\u2019s fucked up. Personally.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do to\u2026\u201d She smirked. Then she frowned. \u201cThey keep me here. I\u2026\u201d I let her take a moment of silence before she just said \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cIt was the right thing to do,\u201d I told her. \u201cI am a bit frustrated I didn\u2019t take one of the other ladies though. Earning it off a performance is a bit different.\u201d Even as I said it I realized it was a stupid comment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Before the conversation could get any more awkward, loud bells started ringing through the town. I ran to the nearest window to see the gate had opened, and men were swarming inside. There were also several fires in nearby houses. Our mission was complete.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd now it\u2019s time for war.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A loud knock on the door alerted me. The slave whore whose name I forgot to ask looked startled and jumped behind the bed. I inspected my surroundings, noticing a variety of decorations I could throw at people. Most notably, a vase that I quickly grabbed, and placed on a table next to the door, before opening it to find a knight in full plate silver armor standing there.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYour friends were caught causing a ruckus,\u201d he pointed down the hall. \u201cSo you\u2019ll be coming with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I leaned my hand on the door, ready to close it fast. When his helmet very clearly took note of that, I swiftly used my right hand to grab the vase and smash it over his face. I slammed the door and locked it just before he bullrushed it. His second shoulder thrust nearly broke the lock off.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The first thing I did was grab the whore, but she was screaming and pushed me away so I hopped out of the window onto the rooftop of the floor below, never to see her again. It didn\u2019t take the knight long to break his way through the wooden barrier, but it took me less time to scale the wall back down to the ground and take off running.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Violence was echoing into the night. I wasn\u2019t really sure where I was even going, but pretty quickly a guard stepped in the road in front of me. \u201cWhere are you running?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGrab that one!\u201d Someone shouted from behind me. \u201cWe\u2019re chasing someone. That\u2019s probably him. Get him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou him?\u201d The guard in front of me asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I pointed at the one that accused me of being me, \u201cNo he is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That\u2019s when a shadow appeared behind him, and a pair of claws cut his throat. The phantom quickly dashed towards the other guard and handled him as well. \u201cGet to fighting.\u201d Was all Felix said, before he melted into the shadows again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With no rapier in sight, I grabbed the short sword near me and took off the same direction I was just going. It didn\u2019t take me long to arrive at a bit of a skirmish between some guards and a few men I didn\u2019t recognize at all. There weren\u2019t that many sellswords, so I was sure I couldn\u2019t have forgotten anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anyways, I hopped on the team of not guards and fought the guards. Hitting the first one in the back of the head with the hilt of my sword, knocking him out. Then I began deflecting strikes from the next guy until one of my new allies saved me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks man,\u201d he reached his hand out. \u201cWe appreciate what y\u2019all are doing for us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys live here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cPrisoners,\u201d He pointed at a building nearby as his friends came over to us. \u201cSome of your friends just broke us out. Guy said his name was Tim.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cTim\u2019s a quality fellah,\u201d I nodded. \u201cGlad to be on the same side.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> More guards came running over and we quickly engaged them in a fight. I paired off with another guardsmen who seemed to be pretty even with me as we went. Though I felt like the upper hand was coming my way soon.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A moment later, his allies took out mine, and I could see one of them coming at me out of the corner of my eye. But I didn\u2019t have time to respond. I was too busy blocking what was ahead of me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I heard a clang. Followed by a squeal.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My opponent panicked from the sight of what happened, giving me a window that I hopped right through. The short sword dug straight into his gut, and it was a little tough to pull out, so I didn\u2019t. A whistle pulled my attention to the smiling Shana standing over a couple of dead guards holding a bloody sword. She reached behind her and tossed me my very own rapier. \u201cThought you could use this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks,\u201d I smirked and looked down the road to more of our allies being swarmed by guards. As the two of us ran over, I noticed a familiar silver armored knight come stomping down the street from another direction and tear through a couple of prisoners at a time.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A guard with light armor and a pair of short swords in his hands lunged at me. Shana was dealing with somebody else at that point. I blocked his first and second strikes hoping to counter immediately, only for him to swing again. And again. And again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was fast, but I was faster. But I also had one sword and he was swinging two so I don\u2019t actually know who was faster because I was the one backing up. I do know he eventually overstepped, and I brought my back left foot forward to pull his ankle out. Then I hopped out of the way of his inevitable off balance attack. When he extended his hands to regain his balance I, having not lost my balance at all, lunged in for the finishing blow.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he was dead, or at least bleeding a lot, I set my eyes on the knight, who was just finishing one of the sell swords. He set his sights on me as well. The pair of us charged, and he prepared for a clash, I sidestepped to get an angle. Not that it mattered, his armor deflected my attack and I was forced to dodge his follow up.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I pressed him right after that, smacking him with my sword again, this time on the arm. He didn\u2019t like it, so he blocked after that. I had him on the back foot, until he slipped a quick metal elbow to the face. Then he smashed me with his helmet.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The world spun around, but the sword was clearly coming at my face, giving me just enough chance to dodge it. Though I lost my footing and ended up on my ass, just as I regained my composure from the two big hits he landed on my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His sword nearly came down on me, but a blade appeared just above my head deflecting his weapon to the ground. Shana had come to my aid once more. I kicked the knight in the chest, pushing both of us away from the other.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She swung at him, as I hopped to my feet. Her hands were much faster than mine, and she struck him several times, but more guards were coming up behind her. I dove and kicked the knight’s back leg, knocking him over as I screamed for her to turn around. She just barely saved herself.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I scrambled to my feet before the knight got to his. The hilt of my sword smashed into his helmet. His legs gave out for a split second, I pushed him over to his side and slammed my weapon into his head several more times. Then I said, \u201cYou\u2019re friends have been up to something naughty, you\u2019ll have to come with me,\u201d Before slamming the hilt one last time putting him unconscious.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019d you say?\u201d Shana asked as she pulled her blade out of her opponent.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe said it to me earlier,\u201d I shook my head with confidence. \u201cTrust me it was funny if you were there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t matter, she thought everything I said was funny.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI almost had that one,\u201d I complained. For a second I thought I was talking to Syrielle, who recently had been very eager to point out that I had never once defeated an armored foe by myself. I\u2019ve beaten several people with leather padding, much like myself, but never anyone with a full plate. Snapping back to reality I asked, \u201cWhere am I needed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An arrow flew right at the wall near us. We both scrambled away. I found myself in an alleyway and moved along the walls until I was on a different street. Shana was completely out of sight, having scrambled away from me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was smoke all around. When I stepped around the corner I saw the fires, and plenty of bodies scattered about. Some were dead, others still crawling.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Grugs came stumbling down the street, with several spears in his back, an ax in his chest, two daggers on his left arm, and a sword in his right leg.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Felix was unconscious nearby.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A bleeding guardsman was walking towards the catman, but I dashed over and knocked him down from behind. Having lost all that blood he fell unconscious pretty quickly so I didn\u2019t have to stab him anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Smoke began to fill my lungs. More homes began to catch fire. We set the whole damn town on fire coming for this man. <\/span>What the hell am I doing?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shana\u2019s screams pierced through the night. When I looked I couldn\u2019t see her at first, but Thomas was wobbling and bleeding. Ivan was walking towards him holding a long sword dripping with blood. He was taunting the vengeful warrior with some nasty words from the look of things but I couldn\u2019t really hear from where I was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thomas was barely able to stand, and his wife was sprinting down the road from another angle. Ivan saw her just in time. I was on my way to help her, when a couple more guards lunged at me. I blocked both of them but there was no chance I was going to defeat the two of them alone. Another sell sword was there to assist me in a moment. He took one of them out by surprise and we teamed up on the second.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta stick together dude,\u201d He barked at me, then pointed down the street.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few more guards were running at some of our unconscious and injured allies.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We both grabbed spears we found on the ground. Neither attack landed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our targets did turn their attention on us though, but we handled them just fine. Actually he did most of the work. He beat his guy, then we yet again teamed up on mine. I don\u2019t know if he was better or fighting worse opponents, but my random ally was very welcome to addition to my life at this point.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I searched around for who else to fight, I heard the cries of a woman once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I spun back around, Thomas was lying face first on the ground motionless. Shana was on her knees in front of her husband, spitting blood out of her mouth. \u201cIvan you sick fuck! I\u2019ll haunt you to the end of your days.\u201d She looked up with the ferocity only a mother who lost her child could muster.<\/span>
\n<\/span> \u201cGood,\u201d The ugly man growled, holding his sword above his head. \u201cWith your ghost around to remind me, I\u2019ll always live in the warm memories of what I did to your daughter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His shoulder twitched, but my rapier had already left my hand. Shana roared with as much rage and pain as she could, all the way up until my sword passed through his throat. Ivan\u2019s weapon dropped to the dirt as both hands gripped his neck. Then he collapsed and twitched convulsively.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUhm\u2026 Bullseye?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The sell sword next to me nodded in approval and gave me a fist bump.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter : Next Chapter   An illness had befallen me. That\u2019s the excuse my friends gave Gimble when they left on the adventure without me. I was just pretty hungover from drinking with the dwarves all night, but everyone has a rough day once in a while.\u00a0 A berry from Nydorri would have put […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=282"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":288,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282\/revisions\/288"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}