{"id":309,"date":"2024-11-22T04:04:13","date_gmt":"2024-11-22T04:04:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=309"},"modified":"2024-11-22T18:55:04","modified_gmt":"2024-11-22T18:55:04","slug":"elrin-daun-and-the-grumbsy-gang-chapter-20-white-shadows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/?p=309","title":{"rendered":"Elrin Daun and the Grumbsy Gang – Chapter 20: White Shadows"},"content":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah they met a couple princes from Saldon,\u201d Roan shrugged like it wasn\u2019t a big deal that a few princes from a wealthy country in Eurome are just wandering around Kayos. Then his tone shifted immediately. \u201cIt\u2019s bullshit. Princes want to fuck everyone. When’s the last time you saw a slutty princess? Do you know the shit I\u2019ve had to do just to get a dance with a princess one time? And she might as well have been an orc.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cSo like\u2026\u201d I squinted. \u201cThey gone forever?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think Nydorri will last with a prince?\u201d The sailor smirked. \u201cShe loves this forest too much to leave it forever. I don\u2019t know much about Syrielle, but I\u2019m sure she wouldn\u2019t last much longer. She\u2019s even more psychotic than the elf.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Trant had overheard the conversation and popped up from behind the bar the same as he usually does, \u201cDon\u2019t listen to this guy. They\u2019re just escorting those boys for coin. It\u2019s not like they whisked them away or anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did they become escorts?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not what I said,\u201d At first he was disappointed but then he realized my confusion made sense. \u201cSome of their guards met unfortunate ends when they were wandering around down South. They needed to hire some sell-swords and Syrielle beat the few men the princes had left in sparring pretty easily so they hired them. For a lot of money.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2026\u201d I realized. \u201cSo it\u2019s not like a romantic thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh no they\u2019re definitely gonna fuck em,\u201d Trant assured me as he and Roan nodded to each other. \u201cThat\u2019s gonna happen. I mean unless Syrielle is weird about sex. I\u2019ve never asked, but trust me I know Nydorri\u2026\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That caught both our attention, \u201cWhat?\u201d and we never really got an answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What we did get an answer about, was the fact that the princes weren\u2019t the only royalty in the area. Apparently there had been some party at Portertown hosted by Prince Kava, the youngest heir to the throne of Albaya. Many highborn were invited to the festivities and several had taken him up on the offer.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Which, didn\u2019t sound like the best of ideas out here in Kayos. The young princes were in need of more escorts due to many of their guards meeting untimely ends. Assassins were around every corner in Kayos. It was easy for political enemies to stage mistakes out here.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Word has it, according to Trant\u2019s whispers, Saldon boys weren\u2019t the only royalty having problems in Kayos after the festival. Princess Tiana Karr of Croavio had supposedly gone missing as well along with several other members of her family. King Motlen Karr, was known for going scorched Earth on any nation that messed with his family in personal affairs. I really fucking hated that guy.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glandland was on Croavia\u2019s Southern border. Making me particularly familiar with his bullshit. He wasn\u2019t the worst king, but he was a king. So he was just the worst.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still, he was rich. And his daughter was missing. So Roan asked, \u201cReward?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think there won\u2019t be?\u201d Trant laughed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy reward will be the honor of knowing the princess,\u201d I declared.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve known a lot of girls I\u2019ve done things to,\u201d Roan told me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course I thought about what he meant. We don\u2019t know that many women. I wondered who he was talking about, but I was quickly distracted by a half-orc and a haflin, bickering over who could shove more of their fist in their own mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The victory went to Glish.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not long after that, the door behind us opened abruptly. In walked a gorgeous woman, though if you weren\u2019t a man of culture like myself you might not have noticed. Her face was covered with dirt, wearing the clothes of a peasant. But I could tell by her walk, that\u2019s not what she normally wears.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me\u2026 Are you Trant?\u201d She huffed and puffed at the front of the bar. Two older women, with bows on their backs, stepped up behind her. Neither appeared particularly strong but they weren’t frail by any means. One of them glared at us angrily while we inspected them like animals in a zoo.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan raised his drink, \u201cYo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes I am Trant.\u201d The barkeep announced, \u201cWho am I speaking with?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She quickly said, \u201cMy name is Pri\u2026 Uhm\u2026 Diana. My name is Diana.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Having had quite a bit of troll, I had a hard time not shouting, \u201cHey you\u2019re the missing princess!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her worried look immediately clarified I was right.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYo!\u201d Roan looked right at me, extending his hand for a bro shake.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFucking nailed it!\u201d I embraced him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was very impressed with me, \u201cPeople need to lose more princesses.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll find them.\u201d I pointed at both of us. \u201cWe\u2019ll find them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He waved his hand in front of him as if to display something. \u201cThe evidence is here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Princess Tiana walked over to us and politely asked, \u201cPlease be quiet. I\u2019m undercover.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019re good at it,\u201d Roan assured her. \u201cWe never would have figured it out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She grew extremely worried. One of the women behind her grabbed her arm, \u201cDiana. It\u2019s time to go. We can\u2019t risk others knowing who you are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHold on\u2026\u201d Roan held his hand out. \u201cWho says we aren\u2019t on the princess\u2019s team?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf the throne needs assistance in any way, all it needs is to ask,\u201d I lied standing to my feet. The king couldn\u2019t tell me to do shit. Neither could any prince, and honestly a lot of other princesses also might not have budged me at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But she could. And many other girls without a crown are much the same as her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I thought it was better at that moment to say I\u2019m loyal to the throne. It was just the smoother path to gain her trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the woman again tried to drag her the princess snapped her arm away and said, \u201cI can find them. My cousins. I know they\u2019re close. I know they are. I can feel them. It\u2019s faint. But I can do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We both nodded pretending to know what she\u2019s talking about.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Almost as if she was asking a question she said, \u201cI was told Grumbsy was the place to come when you\u2019re looking for warriors\u2026\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh that\u2019s us,\u201d I pointed at myself and my friends. Roan crossed his arms proudly. Vergusson and Glish hopped out of their seats to join us. Blondos put his arm on my shoulder, at which point I proudly declared. \u201cYou must have heard the ballads of our adventures that I\u2019ve been spreading through the continent.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d She pointed at Trant. \u201cA lot of people know this guy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The barkeep nodded, \u201cAnd I\u2019ve been telling people I know the best killers I ever did see.\u201d Though he looked at me with great sympathy, \u201cAnd I mention they hang out with a really good singer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI have heard about the singer,\u201d She nodded enthusiastically, clearly noticing my insecurity.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d I shrugged, \u201cThe legend goes they ran out of performers and I just filled the void.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My humility pleased her. We quickly probed for more information and she was excited to talk about her cousins. Dolores was the youngest, which was weird because her name was Dolores. She and the princess adored each other. Brian and Helfoiral, were twin brothers of the age of 13. Her Aunt Molly was also taken along with their hired help Shiar and Loraine. Tiana was just as concerned with the maids as anyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wish I could love a peasant the way I could love a princess. To have nothing and love those around you is wisdom. To have everything and love those around you is strength. <\/span>Am I a bad man for thinking such things?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I would talk to Syrielle about it in the coming weeks, she confirmed I was.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unfortunately, Tiana was beyond excited to tell me about her family, only to fall to tears. Her companions quickly explained that they had no information on the culprits other than the general area the bandits have a history of operating out of. Others have been searching for their loved ones with no luck.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once they explained the nothing they gave us, Roan very politely reentered the conversation. \u201cPardon me for not asking earlier, but who the fuck are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two women weren\u2019t identical, but looked very similar. The one to respond had slightly blonder hair, and was a fair bit taller than the other. \u201cMy name is Tammy. This is Cammy. We\u2019re agents of Sigma Phi. When we discovered this young woman was being taken across the continent against her will, we were forced to intervene.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cForced?\u201d Roan was confused, \u201cAgainst your will?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing the more important problem I asked the princess, \u201cWhy were you being taken?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was still talking to them, but I was smart enough to ask the princess herself.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy cousins aren\u2019t the daughters of the king,\u201d Princess Tiana explained. She looked at the ground with sadness. \u201cOnce they went missing, my father’s men pulled me fast. But\u2026\u201d She looked back up making fierce eye contact. \u201cI\u2019m the one who can find them. I understand why my father doesn\u2019t want me to go. But I\u2019m the one who can feel where they are. The king\u2019s guard would never allow it, but I have to go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I looked at Tammy and Cammy. \u201cAnd you approve of this? Putting this young girl in danger?\u201d Neither of they\u2019re hair had begun to gray yet, but they both could have been grandmothers.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tammy was very disappointed in me for not knowing the answer. \u201cAs a woman she has a choice. Doesn\u2019t matter who her father is. We at Sigma Phi choose to save those who need it. She chose to help. For the time being, her choice is that of our sister.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan finished chugging his drink. \u201cAnd so do we.\u201d He wasn\u2019t paying attention but he had the right attitude and that\u2019s all that mattered at the moment<\/span>
\n<\/span> Wasting no time, we ushered outside, snagged some horses, and headed South East. Riding on horseback didn\u2019t give us much chance to get to know each other, and during our stops the princess was largely silent.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a day’s ride we arrived at a small town called Blue Rock. It had been abandoned long ago, but repurposed in recent months as the local economy grew. All thanks to a few people that consistently handled problems before they became big problems. Apparantly a lot of which I didn’t even see. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tiana shoved her hood over her head and let us speak with the inn owner. The women with her insisted we get separate rooms, meaning we literally paid for their room, and then they locked themselves away all night.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I inquired around town about missing folk. All the citizens were completely clueless other than the general knowledge of the general region to stay away from. Problem was, that area seemed to be growing bigger the more people stayed away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We went to bed for the evening, and then the next night headed out into the wilderness. Princess Tiana led us nearly an hour from where we were before she began walking around in a circle. \u201cWe\u2019re over them,\u201d I heard her whisper several times to her companions.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re around us,\u201d She suddenly shouted looking up and around. \u201cI know it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wanted to ask her how she knew, but thought it was a weird question. So I asked Roan. He arrogantly replied. \u201cProbably like a magic compass or something. Just in her head?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMagic compass?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have any of those?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI always forget you’re a loser.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After she grew more frustrated, Roan theorized they could be in a tunnel system underground and we should check the nearby caves. We found several pretty deep holes but none led to tunnels leading into the Earth.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just before nightfall we discovered a cave in a hill that appeared pristine to set up camp. With a couple of watchful eyes looking out, whatever was getting people wasn\u2019t going to sneak up on us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The princess didn\u2019t want to wait, but we convinced her it was the smart decision. We set up a fire near the front of the cave and everyone set up inside. Diana sat alone on a rock near the campfire. I thought for a moment about going to talk to her. Then felt insecure about Tammy and Cammy being weird about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I manned up and went over there.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHello.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d She smiled with warmth.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you wanna be alone?\u201d I pointed at a large rock next to her. \u201cBecause personally I\u2019m feeling social but I could always talk to the half-orc. He\u2019s a fantastic conversationalist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My joke brought out laughter followed by a friendly and inviting pat on the rock. After I sat down she continued the conversation \u201cSo\u2026 You said you\u2019re from Gladland. What brings you all the way out here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waving my hands with as much pizazz as I could, I replied, \u201cAdventure.\u201d She giggled again. \u201cBut I\u2019m just a poor writer trying to be unique. What\u2019s a princess doing in the land of Kayos?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Imitating my hand movements she said, \u201cAdventure. What\u2019s all the money in the world worth without it?\u201d She looked out into the woods near us. \u201cI wanted to see what we could do for the people of Kayos. Prince Kava has a lot of ideas, but honestly really he\u2019s just another fancy salesman. If I had to guess they\u2019ll be signing treaties with Thraine in no time. But I\u2019m young and trying to figure things out for myself. So I had to come out and see this world with my eyes. My dad hates me being here, but I\u2019m his little princess so I get my way. To an extent.\u201d Her face grew angry and she took a deep breath. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThose are his cousins’ kids that are missing. He barely cares about them. I understand I\u2019m in danger too, but I have the gift.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At this point it felt appropriate to ask. \u201cSo I\u2019ve been wondering?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She smiled, \u201cI was born with abilities. Several in fact. When I need to, I can sense my loved one\u2019s. I can feel them. My grandmother had the same gift. Far more honed than myself, but I hope to get there one day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Roan slid onto the rock next to her, \u201cMagic doesn\u2019t give itself to those who don\u2019t deserve it. I\u2019m sure your grandmother passed her blessings on to the best of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Her smirk was hard to read. Was she judging him? Was she flirting with him? Was there another possibility I couldn’t think of? Because honestly I can only see those two options. And people say I\u2019m smart when they aren\u2019t calling me dumb.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s very kind of you to say,\u201d She was still impossible to read. \u201cI\u2019m assuming you also have some sort of gift?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know a thing or two,\u201d He wiggled his hands. \u201cAnd I wouldn\u2019t even say the magical things about me are my greatest gifts. If I\u2019m being perfectly honest.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh really?\u201d She doubtfully asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d He looked at the ground. \u201cI just wanted to look cool in front of the princess.\u201d Snapping his head back up with a confident smile he said, \u201cBut I do know magic.\u201d Being the asshole he is, he pointed at me for confirmation. Forcing me to have his back lest I be a wiener.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I nodded to her, \u201cHe does these cool things with rocks in his hand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looked impressed, but not too impressed. She was more fascinated with the cross on his hand that heals people. Then she was fascinated by the wings on his feet that let him run at insane speeds. I haven\u2019t seen him use in a long time. I wonder if there’s a currency to his magic that he’s not telling me about.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We both talked to her for a while, and I could never fully see whose company she enjoyed more if at all. Which was fine because I don\u2019t think she had any intention of flirting with anyone when she was looking for her missing family. And I fully understood I needed to stop thinking about it. A part of me thought I shouldn\u2019t go on this mission because I\u2019m going to have inappropriate thoughts and then I remembered my thoughts don\u2019t define me. As long as I\u2019m doing the righteous thing with my actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Also doing a good job will encourage the urge to thank me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tammy and Cammy offered to take the first watch. I drifted to the world of dreams. Princess Diana and I were on the throne. Or rather I was on the throne, and she was on her new throne.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Loud screams let me know her companions didn\u2019t approve. There were red eyes in the dark staring at me. The phantom leapt towards me. I shuckled and moved and there was a dagger in my stomach. That\u2019s when I realized I stopped dreaming a few seconds ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A real being with red eyes was actually stabbing me in the stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly, the screams of Zorthos blasted through the cave along with the light of his flames. My attacker pulled his arm back to attack again as an arrow landed in his chest. A second after another hit a spot right next to it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fighting through the pain I kicked him off before he regained his composure. When he hit the ground I rolled on top to throw some punches and keep him disoriented. The sounds of combat were all around me, but my eyes were on the imminent death in front of me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With my right hand I gripped my foes dagger arm. My left elbow began to rain down, but after a couple landed he shucked his other hand in the way. That\u2019s when I realized I could rip out the arrows.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So I did that and I stabbed him in the throat with one of them. He began to gurgle blood. I ripped the dagger from his hand stabbing him with that. Ending his life.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan was banging on the cave wall screaming, \u201cGet back here you fucking shit fuck. I will bury you. I will burn everything your bloodline has ever owned.\u201d I had almost never seen anger like this from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Zorthos was walking along the wall brooding in flames with weapons in hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cVerg I think he\u2019s dead dude,\u201d Glish was standing on top of his own enemy that looked nearly identical to mine. Verg on the other hand was stomping a different mysterious rogue in the face.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cammy had two arrows in her chest, lying on the ground bleeding from the mouth. Tammy, had an arrow in her arm, and began rubbing ointment on her companion. \u201cOh Hera, please don\u2019t let her go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Princess Tiana knelt down next to Cammy and placed her hand on her chest. She hummed to herself for a moment. Then her eyes glowed, as did the wound on the archer\u2019s chest. The arrows popped out and allowing Cammy to take a huge breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019d seen some impressive healing magic, mostly from Roan and Nydorri. But also a few times back in Eurome around the cities I grew up in. Not to mention Bobby McFarrin. What she just did was the fastest and most powerful I\u2019d ever seen by far. All of them would have simply stabilized that wound and then helped it recover in a day. She was fine immediately.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tammy and Cammy embraced in a huge hug. They looked like neither could live without the other. With great relief, the princess leaned back and observed them with a smile.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan, showing great concern for me, walked over and asked, \u201cSo I have to ask, are you two lesbians or sisters?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two women held hands. \u201cSome would say both.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Despite his reputation for crudeness he replied, \u201cOh that\u2019s gross.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> Hoping they wouldn\u2019t answer with something that would upset me I had to ask, \u201cYou mean like sorority sisters? Not blood sisters? Right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh course we\u2019re not related,\u201d Tammy was disgusted by us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan shook his head at them and then looked to me to make sure I agreed with him that they were the ones being weird. I confirmed by also shaking my head, thus validating his emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

While we were gathering ourselves, I pulled the black mask off of the man that attacked me. Pointy elven ears, and a face white as snow. My particular victim was bald, but when my comrades pulled off the masks revealing silvery hair.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cReija,\u201d Verg growled to himself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think that lady that married your uncle is involved in this\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019d be pretty dope,\u201d He sounded doubtful. \u201cIf we did an orc thing, and a Reija thing I\u2019d be feeling pretty good about the squad.\u201d Then he winced in pain and fell to the ground struggling to breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Suddenly, a burning agony seared through my body as well. I fell to the ground puking up black blood as the world around me began to spin. The princess dashed over, and placed her hand on my chest. Even though he fell down first. After doing the glowing thing I felt much better. Like immediately, just way better.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She then did the same to the half-orc.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPoison blades and arrows\u201d Roan smacked the wall. \u201cBastard got me with one.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay?\u201d The princess asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d He said. \u201cI mean\u2026 You could make me feel better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou look fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201c…Okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Vergusson got to his feet he came over to look at the corpse I was examining. \u201cFucking nasty little shits\u201d He nearly whimpered. \u201cFrom the looks of it, we just got attacked by the Dharkk Heimr Tribe.\u201d He shook his head, \u201cDad always said nobody had more people on Kayos than the Doom Rock. But Under Kayos is different. Than he\u2019d usually forget to say he was talking about the Dharkk Heimr.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish was poking around near the walls. \u201cAlright so we saw them run through a door that closed. That\u2019s gotta mean there\u2019s some sort of device here right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson started punching the wall, \u201cYou\u2019re a genius.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s why they pay me the big bucks.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Verg was confused, \u201cYou always complain you\u2019re underpaid.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We all joined in the inspection, until our tiniest companion stepped on a rock by accident, causing the mechanisms to activate and the door to open. He claimed he did it on purpose, but we all saw him looking above him when it happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A dark shady tunnel led downwards. Glish insisted on taking the lead, with Verg right behind him. Cammy and Tammy wanted to go next with the princess right behind them. I luckily didn\u2019t have to go last and went right behind her. Roan was right behind me, and Zorthos insisted on being the one in the far back because that\u2019s what the bravest of us would do. I promised to talk about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At first the light of the fire from the cave helped us see a little bit. But the more we turned it became pitch black. Zorthos passed a torch forward that he was able to summon. Apparently it wouldn\u2019t burn out as long as it stayed near him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not long into our journey we came upon a wacky crossroads that went four ways. One straight on and a little down. One above that. Probably leading to another cave entrance. And then two more to our left and right leading evenly along where we were going.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan insisted we go down, and held the glowing object in the dirt. \u201cSee, those are footsteps going down. They went down. We go down. Why is that complicated little man?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Glish looked off into the distance dramatically, \u201cBecause life is never simple.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cGuys,\u201d Verg pointed to the right. \u201cAre those giant spiderwebs?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I shook with horror as I saw the massive webs taking up the entire right tunnel. \u201cBut they could just be from a lot of really hard working spiders. Of normal size.\u201d When I turned back to Vergusson and saw two giant mandibles slowly descending above his head I screamed, \u201cDuck! I-was-wrong-they’re-huge-duck!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He did duck, but the giant 8 legged freak shot down and snagged him immediately. The half-orc whipped his body around as the larger creature pulled him upwards. I leapt and grabbed his ankle with my left hand. Roan quickly grabbed my legs as well. The others fired projectiles.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I cut the leg with my rapier, it squealed and wiggled in pain. Vergusson brought his ax up to take off more legs. The arrows had stopped firing, but I could still hear them fighting below.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan let go of my foot and I let go of Verg\u2019s. Honestly I wasn\u2019t sure what I was doing besides cutting the leg a little bit. Verg smashed it several times and it eventually dropped him, receding upwards.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

More large spiders, but smaller than me, had come pouring out of the tunnel to the right. We fired our projectiles at as many as we could. Roan began hacking away with the tiny daggers he picked up off the elves in the cave.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When a spider came closer, my rapier was back out, and it soon had four legs.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I killed it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I counted seven kills with my bow by the end of it. Out doing Glish\u2019s six. Despite the fact that he started shooting before me. To be fair, he had a tougher fight with a spider in melee combat than I did. Because, as I reminded him, he\u2019s, \u201cA bitch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We continued on downwards. There were several more weird and awkward turns before we found ourselves walking down a tunnel with the light of a fire coming out of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan and I crept forward silently leaving the rest of our compatriots behind us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking around the corner we saw a rather large corridor filled with glowing rocks providing a seemingly natural light. Stone pillars were all over holding the large cavern up along with several large mounds of rock. There small huts scattered about with the glowing rocks placed in front of them. There was a tiny little pond with a waterfall dripping.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I spotted maybe fifteen Reija walking around. Yet several of them weren\u2019t covered in the black garments. They walked around with their pale white skin exposed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There were small cages in the back of the corridor filled with people. Another larger cage towards the middle held nearly twenty men tied up. From the looks of things, they seemed to be warriors. Or at least physically competent.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I examined the group of Reija walking about more thoroughly, I noticed a woman in a long black and red dress. She was speaking to a shirtless man with a large tattoo of a spider on his chest. \u201cThat\u2019s the one,\u201d Roan tried his best not to shout, \u201cThat\u2019s the bastard that shot me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not alone!\u201d His declared enemy announced as he spun around and faced exactly where we were. Roan\u2019s body was shivering so hard the boulder next to him was shaking.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He slipped off his right glove and scooped up some stones. \u201cBig Z.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A second later his thumb was lit and the stones were firing, taking out two Reija immediately.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Vergusson had already lunged past me. I took off after him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Reija woman shot a red bolt of lightning at the charging half-orc landing square in the chest. She took a stone to the stomach herself a moment later and fell to a knee. Just as Roan dropped his fourth shot, the witch held her hand out and screeched into the halls of the cavern.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFuck!\u201d I looked back just for a second and the flames were out.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Arrows were flying in my direction. Mostly coming from above my head, there were several white elves hiding in little holes in the ceiling. I dashed straight through the valley of poison tipped weapons allowing them to bounce off my new magical armor. It had been nearly a month since I bought this anti-projectile leather from Heather\u2019s Keep and hadn\u2019t been able to see how well it works yet. So far it passed the test.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And thankfully nothing hit my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A black smoke swooshed above me covering many little divots in the ceiling above. A second later half a dozen elves dropped down hitting the cave floor hard. The smoke descended on the far corner of the room quickly condensing into Zorthos.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Huffing and puffing he blasted open the middle cage door holding the men with an ax. Then he breathed a white fire all over the captives. They screamed in fear, but in a moment they noticed that only the ropes that confined them were burning. Zorthos was attacked by several Reija, but soon had an overwhelming number of warriors assisting him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wish I could say more but at that point I was in my own fight. One of the red eyed white elves was right in front of me with a sword just a fair bit longer than my own. He was very quick, much quicker than the majority of the foes I\u2019ve fought so far on my journeys.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yet he didn\u2019t overwhelm me like many of them had, though I was barely keeping up. Noticing in the middle of the fight just how impressive it was that I was able to hold his pace. Though that thought faded quickly as I realized I could die again at any moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carnage was happening all around me. I could hear Roan screaming, \u201cI\u2019m gonna get to that fucking bastard.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My duel didn\u2019t last too long. I figured his pattern out pretty well. Then someone hit him with an arrow in the middle of it so I couldn\u2019t execute my strategy. Then I killed him, but I felt bad about it after the arrow thing.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A blur blasted right past my face. The barefooted Roan used his magical super speed to cross the battlefield and put him right in front of his chosen enemy. One of the prisoners Zorthos freed was cut down by the shirtless Reija just as the sailor arrived. I very clearly noticed that he did not attack while the Hermes tattoo\u2019s power was activated. And once he stopped moving his body operated at normal speed.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The two went off at each other while a war raged around them.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From the looks of things the Reija forces had nearly doubled from what I originally saw. The support from the prisoners was helpful but they were all dropping fast. Glish was paired up with one of them dueling with a couple of Reija but his ally did not appear competent. I supported his comrade with an ally. Then he supported the hafflin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson was tearing through another one to get to the witch again. She blasted him with another red lightning bolt sending him hurtling backwards. He hopped up angrily but was stabbed from behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My bow was aimed but a black blade caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I dodged, dropped, and had my rapier out in a second. My reflexes were on point and I immediately had my foe on the back foot. However, my crafty opponent caught me being over eager and nicked me in the gut.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Normally it\u2019d be fine after just a scrape.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Against these bastards I could feel the poison flowing through me already. I chose to be as dramatic about it as possible. He smiled, and then it was he who was over eager, and it was I who took advantage.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I sliced his wrist.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he yelped, I stabbed him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then I stabbed him once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t as tough as the other one I just fought.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vergusson was growling on the ground next to the dead Reija that just stabbed him. The princess stood over him glowing as only as she can. Once her light dimmered she patted him on the shoulder. \u201cGo get ’em big guy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He rose to his feet and did as she commanded. Charging towards two white elves that were harassing an exhausted Zorthos and an injured prisoner.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Roan\u2019s duel was spreading all over the place. Neither had any respect for anybody else\u2019s personal space. Both wielded one of the long swords all of the Dharkk Heimrr used. Zorthos was fighting several along with the few prisoners that were still alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tiana had made her way over to the cages on the far side. I joined her immediately trying to keep an eye out for more archers. The princess was speaking with an older woman through the bars of the cage who was very disappointed in her, \u201cThey\u2019ve been trying to find you. There\u2019s a lot they could do with our blood, but it\u2019s you they need for true power. How could you have come?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tiana shook her head. \u201cI couldn\u2019t let my father boss me around\u2026\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo you\u2026 You\u2019re so short sighted,\u201d The woman said. \u201cI mean you\u2019re blood is like really powerful if they have you everyone in the world is doomed. How are you not getting that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know why I said, \u201cShe loves you\u2026\u201d But I said it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was a loud cackling laugh that squeaked in all of our ears. \u201cYou come to the land of the Dharrk Heimr. The tunnels of The White Shadows. And you think, you can simply walk out if we don\u2019t will it.\u201d I immediately stepped away from the crowd and began searching around for who I assumed was the queen that guy told to leave earlier.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She was standing on the tallest rock that didn\u2019t connect to the ceiling. Wearing a long red gown, and holding a staff with a purple jewel on the end of it. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou think you stand a chance against us? On our own ground no less?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Observing my surroundings I said, \u201cWe\u2019ve killed a shitload of your people.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll kill you!\u201d She cleverly retorted before blasting a ball of fire in my direction.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I dodged but the explosion sent me flying. Glish was firing his arrows at her and Vergusson was climbing the rock as fast as he could. Roan was getting up off the ground, having been hurt from the blast as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When the seaman looked around he noticed his nemesis had also been launched a distance. The white elf was getting to his feet, moving in the opposite direction. \u201cOh you think we\u2019re done.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I noticed two more Reija sprinting from a different direction towards the princess and the rest of the non warriors. \u201cRoan!\u201d I dashed to Tianna\u2019s aide.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Being closer to the crowd I got there first and managed to occupy both of the warriors for a moment. Though I wouldn\u2019t have lasted long if Roan hadn\u2019t blasted in from the side taking them both out with a pair of swords.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course he had to whine, \u201cFricken morals and shit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When he looked up he saw his foe escaping into a tunnel. The Reija turned around and locked eyes with Roan. Both of them licked their lips. If you asked me there was definitely something sexual going on.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The man disappeared into the hole and out of our lives. For now.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is he mad at you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n


\n<\/span> \u201cWe have a vendetta against each other,\u201d The sailor explained. \u201cHe\u2019s the one who shot me, I\u2019m still mad about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNo I got that, but he seems mad at you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s just things you don\u2019t understand Elrin,\u201d He whined as he prepared a bow he picked up off the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYeah that\u2019s why I ask questions\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I prepared my bow as well we saw the witch limping very quickly on the ground away from Vergusson. \u201cYou\u2019ve made an enemy of the Dharkk Heimr forever this day. Do you hear me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m already an enemy of the Dharkk Heimr. Do you not know who I am?\u201d The half-orc\u2019s skin appeared half charred. The third time today he faced what could be death dealing damage if not for the gift of the princess.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Trying to dismiss him she shouted, \u201cYou think I know every Orc in Kayos.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt is he? Vergusson the half-orc. Prince of the Doomrock Clan.\u201d I explained to her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The witch paused and looked at him again.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPunic\u2019s Nephew?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Verg didn\u2019t seem to want to talk as he limped towards her. Luckily, I liked talking and was available to do so. \u201cIf you know the bitch his uncle\u2019s been porking over the last few months we\u2019d appreciate to know where she is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He just nearly reached her as she exited through a tunnel which closed behind her. As if it was never there, completely sealed. Vergusson bull rushed right into it, plopping down on his ass. Then he slammed his ax into the rock over and over again, but the whole passage appeared plugged up.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tiana sprinted over the half-orc and just barely healed him again. Her mana was coming to its end and she needed to rest before it came back. Which was still pretty absurd stamina in comparison to what my other healing friends have been capable of<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now that everyone was safe, Roan was tempted to run down the still clear tunnel that his nemesis ran down. But we talked him out of it. This beef of theirs was most curious to me. As adventurers we get attacked all the time, something more significant must have happened in the cave while I slept.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I rounded up and counted the survivors which came out to twenty three living people. About half the captives were killed in the fight. According to Zorthos, the alpha warrior took out like ten before Roan got to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We inspected the area, finding a variety of jewels and trinkets. Most notably, we found a large treasure chest, with a very bizarre lock on it. There was no way we were outsmarting the lock, but Vergusson was more than happy to carry it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then we ventured upwards. It didn\u2019t take us long to navigate our way to the surface. We refused to rest outside and hustled through the night until we made it to Blue Rock the next morning. The young one\u2019s stuck to the princess like glue. I just couldn\u2019t get near her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Most of the survivors went their own directions after departing the town. We took Tiana and her family all the way back to Grumbsy where they could return home by boat. And it felt on several occasions like the princess was almost intrigued at the idea of going for a walk with me, but those little shits wouldn\u2019t leave her the fuck alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The night before she was to depart back to Eurome, I sat in the Titan\u2019s Trap. Sulking with grumpiness over yet another loss in the one way that truly mattered to me. Until I felt a tap on my shoulder. \u201cMay I join you mighty warrior?\u201d She sat down despite me not answering yet. \u201cI was able to put the kids down early and sneak away. I did come to Kayos to have some fun after all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt would be an honor to spend time with a princess,\u201d I tried to sound humble.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease,\u201d She shook her head. \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t be in Kayos if you had any love for the crown. I\u2019m the one honored to sit in your presence. A man who stepped up and saved those in need when no one else would. It didn\u2019t matter who they were. You would have done it for anyone wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d I was quite proud to hear her say that. I really hated pretending like I cared that she was a princess. And my heroism had literally nothing to do with my feelings for her. <\/span>Though fucking a princess does just sound awesome.<\/span><\/i> Still I needed to be humble. And it didn\u2019t matter if she was fair or not, I would have done what I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell my friends also stepped up. So it\u2019s not like I\u2019m THE hero.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re friend Roan?\u201d She lowered her brow. For just a moment my heart was about to tear out of my chest as I thought perhaps I wasn\u2019t the one she was hoping to see tonight. \u201cHe seems nice, but he\u2019s not all right in the head is he?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNone of us are?\u201d I gestured to Blondos, Glish and Vergusson arguing over only Zeus knows what. I couldn\u2019t pay attention to every petty squabble anymore. \u201cWouldn\u2019t be in Kayos if we had sanity now would we?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We shared laughs for quite some time, and she insisted on buying all of the drinks. In fact, she bought drinks for the whole bar the rest of the night, and told everyone to thank me and my friends for it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Though, she did keep herself under-served as she had to be up early for a long journey in the morning. Long before midnight, she rose to her feet one last time, \u201cIt\u2019s getting late. I should get back to the kids.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWell.\u201d I shrugged, guaging her response. The tilt of her head was curious, but also confusing. All I could think to say was, \u201cYou said you came to Kayos for adventure. And as far as I\u2019m concerned, you’re still in Kayos for the night.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The smile I received raised me up in a million ways I could never describe only for her to abruptly ask, \u201cJust to clarify. That\u2019s not code for something really cool and magical like riding a dragon or something? You’re just trying to get laid right?\u201d The way she was pointing at made me feel like I got <\/span>\u201cCaught.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026\u201d I nodded, \u201cSex is pretty magical.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her hand smacked her forehead. \u201cOh goodness you\u2019re adorable. But I\u2019m sorry,\u201d The princess didn\u2019t appear at all uncomfortable or out of place with my request even as she was shooting me down. \u201cI just don\u2019t do that. First of all I\u2019m a virgin. Which is none of your business but your sweet, so I\u2019m happy to be honest with you\u2026 Haven\u2019t gotten to that part of my life yet. And second of all, if I wasn\u2019t, I still can’t just be giving it up to anyone who saves me and my family.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next words I said just came straight from my brain to my mouth without any thought of hesitation. \u201cThat\u2019s the stupidest thing I\u2019ve ever heard.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thankfully, and surprisingly she laughed, \u201cMen will come to expect it from me if I do so. That doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t offer the charming men a chance to get to know me. If you ever make it back Croavo, and you find yourself in Karville, I\u2019ll tell the guards to be on the watch out out for Elrin Daun of Gladland. Perhaps I can show you around town, and learn a little more about the man you really are. But, if truth be told, I think after this little adventure, I won\u2019t be having much time to hang out with non royals anymore. I\u2019m guessing my dad\u2019s gonna marry me off sooner rather than later.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She patted me on the shoulder then turned around to walk away. Though she suddenly stopped, turned back around with another curious look on her face. Then she leaned forward, kissed me, and said, \u201cOkay, I suppose you deserve at least that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then she walked away, leaving me angrier than I\u2019d been in my whole life.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Previous Chapter<\/a> : Next Chapter<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Previous Chapter : Next Chapter   \u201cYeah they met a couple princes from Saldon,\u201d Roan shrugged like it wasn\u2019t a big deal that a few princes from a wealthy country in Eurome are just wandering around Kayos. Then his tone shifted immediately. \u201cIt\u2019s bullshit. Princes want to fuck everyone. When’s the last time you saw […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=309"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/309\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":327,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/309\/revisions\/327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deficientlyattentive.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}